Monday, November 23, 2009

The Life I had Planned!

Life changing week ahead...it's Thanksgiving week, our little grand daughter turns one year old, our second oldest daughter will turn 23 and our nephew is marrying the woman of his dreams! I'm already feeling it, and my emotions will be running just under the surface of my skin...and dripping out the corners of my eyes!

We truly have much to be thankful for, and much to celebrate!

Memories of 'Thanksgiving's past', life before we were grandparents...and Dane (our nephew) & Holly (our second-oldest) when they were little babies (or, better yet, when he was a little boy covered in mud most of the time & she was in her little tutu & rubber boots walking around the track in the back yard!!) I get very emotional when I consider these things...there could be happy tears, and/or sad tears...but somehow, they all mingle together to the point that the average on-looker wouldn't be able to tell the difference and I would like to keep it that way...

"I'm letting go of the life I planned for me and my dreams"...a line of lyrics to a song I've been listening to a lot recently...but this line is Oh, so true...my life looks nothing like what I had planned...and, in many ways, that is in and of itself something to be truly thankful for...

In the life I had planned, there was no pain, no suffering, no death, no harsh words...no sickness, no broken dishes, or shirts that bleach accidently gets splattered on...only smiles and balloons, and really happy times...

So, there you have it, how truly shallow I really am...and at the exact same moment, if you know anything at all about me, you realize, that in the pain and suffering and disappointment and death and sickness, sometimes even in the harsh words, and certainly in the incidental moments of dishes accidently crashing and bleach splattering...that's the stuff of life--it all happens, and it is never at the 'best moment'....it's messy and unpredictable...

But, in those times, I can truly see God's provision, mercy and grace intertwined in such a way that it just makes me long to worship Him more, and to be drawn closer to Him. For those moments when things go upside down, and they are NOT what we planned, we can truly experience Our Mighty God. The God of the Universe, the Creator of All things, the God of Abraham, Isaac & Jacob..the Ancient of Days...the God to whom no day is a surprise!

Life, as long as I'm trusting God to provide my next step, is truly a wild ride...And, so with this in mind, I'll let you know how the rest of the week turns out...exhausted, bruised, content and completely joyful...I'm not certain...just praying for wisdom, strength, courage and faith to make it through these next eight weeks...(and, I'll stay away from bleach during this time!)holidays, birthdays, a wedding and a little vacation...WOW!!!--so, sing with me:

"I'm letting go...
it feels like I'm falling
and that's what it's like to believe...!!!"

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