Friday, October 29, 2010

babies..."you're better off raisin' tomatoes"!!!

I'm not serious with that one...it's just a quote I hear from the older girls a lot. When they were growing up "Matilda" was a really popular movie/book choice for them! That is a line from it, Rhea Perlman plays the mom, and she's always too busy to see how truly gifted and special her baby daughter Matilda is! To the point that when Matilda really wanted to go to school, because she'd turned 6-1/2, her mom argued that she couldn't go to school because she was only 4!

I don't feel like I'm that disconnected from my kids...I do know how old they are, and if applicable, what year of school they are 'in'! But, with two of our kids living on their own, and the two at home are teen-agers...well, it would be really easy to be disconnected from all of them!

Not that I'm one of those mom's that thinks she has to know every detail of my kid's lives...but I love them enough that I want to be connected to them in such a way that I can laugh with them, celebrate with them, or cry with them at the appropriate times!

Alayna and her family got a puppy Collie this past summer, Max. I'm not a pet person, but their kids love this dog! So, it's the right thing for them! They do things I don't understand...but it is really OK. I do not have to understand...and I'm not even complaining because I don't understand! Actually, I'm thankful, because I think that's a sign they are building their own family, and don't 'need' me! They are independent adults!!! Praise God! They made it!!!
Understanding my role as 'mom' of a grown up daughter with a husband and two children, is key! I can operate out of my love for all them, and not know every detail of their lives...IT'S A GOOD THING!!! Trusting God to be faithful to them, just as He has been to Randy and me is an amazing, wild, funny (at times) and sad (at times) ride!!!

Holly, career girl, on her own...definitely an exercise in Trusting my King with the details of her life...I know He's faithful! And, she is doing a really good job of 'figuring it all out'!!! We are 'sounding boards' only, sometimes she takes the advice, other times, she doesn't...but key to my role with her is for her to know that I love her no matter what! My hope is that she knows this...I think she does, or she probably wouldn't call or text or come home as often as she does!

Madison & Mallory...well, my role with them is to offer privacy when they need it...alone, away from each other...and not question them to death. I've learned a package of McDonald's french fries goes a long way in opening up communication between them and me!!! (side note: The other thing I've learned about the fries is that they are the only ones that can eat them, as they make my 'maturing' stomach hurt!!! --Good lesson to learn now!)

I am not naive enough to imagine that I know everything about their lives...but from little conversations I over-hear, and things they write, they have a good foundation! One thing I'm truly thankful for for them is that the love all the girls have for each other is truly a gift. Not only are they all enjoying this freedom that their ages is allowing for them, but they truly listen to each other. The older girls are speaking wisdom to Madison & Mallory that the younger girls truly respect!

Again, my ultimate role with them is that they know that I love them no matter what! Some days I must work harder for them to realize it, but I think they know it!!!--Otherwise, they might not even 'go get fries' with me!!!

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