AnnaBelle.

I just spoke with my grandma. She's my hero. If you know me, you probably already know that.

AnnaBelle. Named after both her grandmothers. She has a way of laughing through tears. She also has a way of telling a story through the laughter. I've heard her do this my entire life, so I understand everything she says. To the untrained ear, which is most of my family, they just hear laughter!

(Unfortunately for them, I do the same thing...laugh & talk at the same time...which makes the 'story not so funny'...sorry!)

Grandma & I always have so much fun, whether we're together physically, on the phone, or through our letters (snail mail; I don't think she's ever been around a computer!) She doesn't write much any more....I only write a 'real pen & ink letter' once in a while, to accompany the occasional card to her.

She moved almost 2,000 miles away from me when I was in 8th grade. She & I were close before she left, so the 'move' was especially hard for both of us. She also moved away from her parents, and her siblings (she is the oldest of 6).

But, it had to 'be'. Jobs. Health. The other 1/2 of their family lived 'there', as well, so she & my grandpa could be closer to them. While I understood all these things...I just missed her.

She was very creative. She kept up with my sister & I even over the miles, before cell phones, skype and internet...and did a great job of remaining close to all of us!

I would consider her a master seamstress. She instilled & encouraged a love for fabric in me at a very young age...that carries through to this day! She & I could spend hours looking at pattern books, and 'lines', of garments, and then spend even more hours touching & imagining & planning fabric. Her love for fabric & thread & texture are amazing gifts for her imagination. She taught me a lot before she left, but even through the miles, she continued to teach me what she could. Even now, when I talk to her by phone, she'll give me little 'garment tips'. Now, the only sewing she does, is to occasionally hem a pair of pants for a friend.

The thing I love the most about her is her attitude. She's trusted God through everything she's faced.

Devastating health issues with my grandpa, left them forced to move from our area; but, looking back, the move was a complete blessing for their lives.

She lost both of her parents, and grieved for them 'far' away from home & her siblings. She trusted God.

She grieved the end of my parent's marriage...and eventually the death of my dad, her son. Later on, she & grandpa came to my house, spent an entire month to help us through the loss of our little daughter.

A couple of years later, I watched, as she cared for my grandpa to the end of his life on this earth. His death was so hard, they'd been married for about 68 years, her entire adult life. A little later, when the grief was so overwhelming, she moved to assisted living, leaving everything behind that had been her 'life' for about 30 years.

Never, never did her faith wane. Never, never did she allow the circumstances of this life to make her question God's faithfulness to her and to her family. She always looked for the good, the blessing, and because of her faith, she found it! We would cry together, and then in a few minutes, we'd be laughing at the memories. She would end the conversation with a 'good memory' of the person or time, that we were mourning.

Yes, she's taught me a lot about life, living well, and trusting an almighty, faithful God! I'm thankful to have had her as a part of my life this long...

This probably would have been more appropriate for Mother's Day, or Grandparent's Day...but today seemed to fit for me...she was just on the phone with me. She was excited because they are remodeling the dining room where she lives, and they were going to get to eat lunch in there for the first time today.

My sister and I are driving my car out to see her. We leave in 7 days. She's so excited. There's a lilt in her voice I haven't heard for a while...she told me, "I haven't felt this good in a long time." The truth is, she has something to look forward to: our visit! She's always loved having her 'bunch' around! Each one is so precious to her. Even now, she can't always remember 'all their names'...but she loves them just the same.

I'm afraid I haven't done her 'justice' in writing such a short entry about her. I haven't even talked about her marriage to my grandpa. Or the way she is with her friends. Or the way she can rebuke in love, without being harsh (this one I have not mastered, yet, unfortunately)

I could write a book about the things she's taught me. Once, I wrote down one words of wisdom she's given me over the years. Some are so practical, some are hilarious...but most line up with Proverbs...amazing how that works!

Hello, again, Friend, it's been a while!!!

And, here we are! I think this is the longest I've gone without a new 'post' to this blog...

SO sorry...

I'm not even sure you're reading any more!

The Ladies' Day at Oil Belt was a great success!!
Linda Mirante, Jackina Stark, Deanne Mott all did a great job of making us laugh, cry, and think! They also challenged us to draw near to the heart of God and live a life in pursuit of JOY!

Dee Ann Schnautz...let me just say, amazing job leading us in worship!

The team (they are the DIVAS) I get to work with to plan and carry out this event is so special to me...each time I think of them, as a group, or individually, I get 'weepy' considering how truly blessed I am to know them!!!

Another Great Banquet week end impacted me in SO many different ways...those 72 hours are truly amazing...every time I get to be involved, I stand amazed at the things that God does in those short hours!!

We finished our Monday night Bible study for ladies at the end of April...we will start again, in some form, in September. There was a great group of women to study with! And, I feel that I am truly blessed to work with this team, as well!

God is SO good to me!

Another cycle of GriefShare came to a close at the end of April, as well. This cycle was unique, as we were small in number...but together, made great strides toward turning 'mourning to joy.'

I get to do a Bible study each week at our local 'assisted living facility'. This year, two of our number have already 'graduated' to heaven...

Coral went on New Year's Eve...Miss Edna left this life last Thursday morning. Both were blessed in that they just went to sleep...no illness, no 'bad thing'...peacefully, and undisturbed, dignity in tact...

Both loved the Lord so very much...I'm thankful God gave me the opportunity to get to know these ladies! What a blessing they each have been to me!

The ones that are still here...well...we laugh and study and cry together, and sometimes we have coffee, or ice water...or even chocolate!

Sometimes, we talk about heaven, sometimes we remember the ones that have gone on, but, mostly, we just have a good time looking at scripture together and try to encourage each other!

Here's what these 'girls' have taught me:
1. Do not ask them 'how they like it there'...the question is of no use...none of them 'like it there'...it's the place that they've come 'to' in their lives...and so, they accept it and move on.
2. They all believe in the Sovereignty of God....it's this basis of their belief in Him that helps them get through the day!
3. They love to laugh...which says to me, laughter is truly good for the bones...and brings health!
4. You are NEVER too old for chocolate, if you're a girl or a woman...it is always yummy!
5. It's really a good idea to keep 'short accounts', so we express how much we appreciate each other 'in the moment'...keeping in mind that the time is 'short'...
Which brings me to:
6. When leaving, it's a good idea to remember to say 'See you next week, Lord willing!'!!!

That pretty much says it all, doesn't it? Don't take tomorrow for granted, or next week, or next month!!! All we have is NOW!
And, so, I'll be writing again 'soon'...Lord willing!

Really Good Week, Even If....

Fabulous week, so far! And, just like most weeks, there's been really good things, and really sad things happen. That is the stuff that life is made of, isn't it? Good and bad...mixed together...can't really have one without the other...strangely enough.

A week ago, my good friends called me to say that one of their father's was having a really serious health issue...I found out at the beginning of this week that he did pass away. So so sad that he is gone...he'll be missed by many...however, what a reward he's experiencing now! He loved the Lord, and he's now seeing the object of his faith, face to face!

This past Monday night, we began a ladies Bible study...large group, then moving to smaller groups for discussion and prayer time together! This format gives the ladies really good opportunities to get to know each other! Several of them have expressed that they actually felt "energized" when they got home!

That's the work of our Great & Mighty God, isn't it? Giving us energy--JOY--when we work to be obedient to His call on our lives!

Today was a good day. I've made several friends, just today! We are in process of starting another session of GriefShare. This will be our 4th cycle...grief is real...and we learn it is like a really 'unwelcome house guest.' It is really important to 'feel' when you are grieving and not stuff emotions, or numb your pain. Those are just a couple of things we learn in the first session. It takes courage to grieve. There's a lot of 'unknowns' and anxious moments....where fears can creep in, and stay if you aren't guarding against them, and seeking truth. Seek truth. And, you know what I'm going to say next: Scripture is that source of truth...Your efforts in seeking truth in scripture will be blessed--richly blessed!

The twins have had a good week...they are funny. They are also doing a really good job in school this year, according to their teachers! And, because the girls are 'the girls', their school secretary and their school nurse are becoming my new best friends!--As, I talk to them pretty frequently--so funny!

See what I mean: life...good with the bad...good with the sad...In this world, you will have trouble...but take heart, I have overcome the world!--Jesus said these words, accroding to John 16:33. There will be trouble here because this is NOT Heaven.

Happy Birthday...

Nine years ago today, we quietly welcomed our fifth daughter in to the world!

She only celebrated 3 birthdays on this earth before going to Heaven. So, her birthday parties were always filled with family and cake and icing and presents...and usually ended in a sleepy, sticky mess...sweet mess, though!

I've known for a few weeks that there was no way I would be in any shape to 'start' the new session of Grief Share tonight with the rest of our church's Wednesday evening programming, so we will start it in two weeks. I'm so thankful today for that decision.

I woke up thinking it's gonna be a good day. And, over all it IS. But, tears are just under the surface, and I've felt this 'yuk' in the pit of my stomach all day. Just sad. I'm just sad. But, because I've been here (remembering my baby on her birthday without her here to kiss and hug and talk with...) before--6 times now--I know the sadness only lasts a little while longer.

Soon, the girls will start laughing and memories will flood in on the emotions of it all, good memories...

God is still in His Heaven, and He is faithful and just and My Comfort and My Refuge and My Strength and My JOY!

For what ever reason, I'm to go on living, and I'm to go on spreading the Word!--Giving the 'reason' for the hope that I have!

The reason: Jesus. There's power in that Name!--And, I praise HIM for it!

So, this day's gonna get better...and Heaven is that much sweeter because of HOPE I have in Jesus!

Just a mist--appearing for a little while...

God is doing some amazing things. As an example, He gets my attention in ways that I would never dream, ask or imagine.
Life is short, we are a mist, only appearing for a short time, and then we're gone...but God's Word...lasts forever...because it is living. This is an amazing concept--one I don't completely understand, but I do completely believe!
Life is short. Live it on purpose. Do I do a good job at this? Probably, there is much room for improvement...I do enjoy life, most of the time. I look for the good.
I strive to be 'heavenly minded'...and think about God and heaven and obedience and mercy and His unending grace. His amazing grace.
His abundant blessing. His provision in my life. God's plan to use even me in the 'grand scheme of things' for this planet while my personal 'mist' is here.

In the past month, I've spoken twice publicly, and had many conversations privately about my personal relationship with Jesus...God's Son.
My choice to believe, His choosing me.
My choice to 'act on my faith'...His choice to bless that effort, and increase my faith.

Amazingly, these are things that speak to people who are searching for 'something' to fill that 'God-sized' blank space in their soul.

My story is really no different than anybody else's ...more tragic than some at this point, not as tragic as others. However, in spite of the tragedies, I find is rest. Rest in a faithful, loving God...and many never find that rest. They seek it other places...or perhaps they do not even know that's what they are looking for.
You see, I believe that true rest comes from knowing Jesus SO well that complete trust in Him and His faithfulness negates worry! Bad things happen here, this isn't heaven. But, if we're listening to the Holy Spirit's nudging us, we can witness some amazing things!--really!

In real life it looks like this:
There are so many new faces in the place I worship each week. This is great.! It is also a little overwhelming...the constant question becomes: where do I begin to try to connect?
I almost walked past a lady just this morning. 'Almost' is key to that sentence: but, I felt like, 'she's the one I'm supposed to connect with today'...so, I introduced myself, lent an ear for a few moments to get 'her story'...and, within the first few words of our conversation, I knew she was the 'God-appointed connection' for me at that moment!
After I told her my name, she told me hers, and then she said: "You're the grief lady?"...

I suppose that's one way to describe me...but the amazing thing is, that's the second time this week that's happened to me...the other time I was in a local restaurant.

My point here is this: as much as we dread talking about death & dying...it happens...and because it happens, there will be those left behind to grieve the loss that that death caused.

If we love deeply, as we are told to do in scripture, then when we lose people that we love deeply, we are going to grieve. And, no, no matter what our culture says, we will not be 'over it' in the three days we might get for 'bereavement leave.' It takes time. It is intentional this journey of grief. We don't do it like those who have no hope, but there are still things we must deal with for good mental health and a good 'eternal perspective.'

I'm thinking I need to start just a 'grief blog'...Any thoughts? Should I? What do YOU think? Leave a comment...PLEASE!