“With his mouth the
godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous escape. … A man who lacks judgment derides his
neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue.” (Pr 11:9 & 12)
Who is your neighbor?
Our next door neighbor and I
share the same home town in Southern Illinois.
We didn’t know each other way back then but we know a lot of the same
people and share memories of ‘hometown’ traditions. The Sunday
school definition of “our neighbor” is usually along the lines of anyone we
meet…everyone is our neighbor. And,
while that is true, we are closer to
some of our neighbors than others, aren’t we?
Whether by distance, or by relationship, we just know some people better
than we know others.
Later this evening some of my favorite people on the planet
will be visiting us—people we have known for many years, people we have shared
victories and defeats with, we have been present when our babies have been born
and when we have buried our loved ones.
Truly our neighbors, but the majority of them live a distance from
us. Yet, the proverbs above remind us
how we are to speak of our neighbors.
It truly matters how we speak about one another. It is important that we spend time
reconnecting and connecting the dots of our lives since we last saw each
other. It will be fun to come to a
greater understanding of each other, for since the time we were last all
together, many changes and challenges have happened in our lives. My hope for this evening is that we will
honor God with our conversations, as well as encourage one another.
In conversation, the words we choose to use are important
and the tone with which we use them is equally, if not more, important—isn’t it? When we speak of others we must be mindful of
what our listeners might be hearing
that we are not verbalizing. This has
been a difficult lesson for me, one that I am still working on, but have not mastered—for
sometimes my words take detours that they should never have taken.
These proverbs were among those I read this morning. They screamed out to me in particular because
I do not intend to speak without knowledge or from a place that lacks understanding. However, it is easier just to speak first,
and attempt damage control later, isn’t it?
At least that’s where we work from sometimes. I know that there have been times that I have
not always sought to understand before trying to be understood. I have not always had all the knowledge I
have needed to effectively speak in to a situation. And, unfortunately, I do not know everything—I know that is hard to
believe, but it is true! One of the
lessons I am trying to practice is to be slow in speaking—and that is a
challenge for me, for I dearly love to speak!
For me to apply these proverbs in my life isn’t about
knowing or understanding everything as much as it is about holding my
tongue. Not speaking before I
have at least a greater understanding, and a deeper knowledge of the
motivations/reasons that my ‘neighbors’ (loved one, friend or even strangers)
do the things they do. Without knowledge
and clear understanding, we can destroy or deride the person we are speaking
of…so stop talking and listen.
And, in those words I am reminded of another proverb that
says: When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. (Proverbs 10:19)
For today, let’s make an effort to hold our tongues, in an
effort to edify our neighbor—not destroy.
When we hold our tongues, we have more time to seek understanding and
knowledge—for this is wise!
BE wise.
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