Tomorrow, December 4, is going to be great day, I can tell you already!
First, it will be my mom's birthday: Happy Birthday, Mom! You are the best, I love that you are my mom, I shudder to think where I would be today if you were not such an example of faith and endurance for me and my family. I love you. May God richly Bless Your Day!
Second, I get to have dinner withsome dear friends tomorrow evening--it is going to be fun to reconnect.
Third, (and almost as important and ultimately responsible for the content of this post) I get to talk to a group of young moms of pre-school age children. This is going to be so much fun!
As I was preparing today, and in light of recent conversations with our girls (remember there are four of them), a fragment of a Bible verse kept creeping in to my thoughts--but I could not locate it in either I or II Samuel.
King David, who was a shepherd and a warrior, was also a dad. Remember, he had many wives, so his life--if you are interested--sheds perspective on that 'blended family' thing. Usually his example is completely inspiring--except this would be stretching a bit if we were to examine his parenting skills. Lacking, could be an adjective to describe them--with at least some of his children. Even in spite of that reality, he was called a man after God's own heart!--So, there must be lessons there--sometimes we just have to dig to find them.
If you remember--he not only had many wives, he had many children of varying ages and stages in his old age. Rape, incest, murder, adultery...it is all there, recorded in I and II Samuel.
(Probably one of the most touching for me, because I have grieved the loss of a child, is the fact that he lost several of his children before he died. Each time he encountered grief, we find him with torn clothes, face down before the Lord. There are times when we grieve that we can do nothing else. The pain is paralyzing, and just going to the feet of our Lord brings comfort, and perspective.)
I could not find the verse I was thinking of in I or II Samuel, because it is not there! No, the event I was looking for that yielded the priceless insight for parenting, happened just before King David died. This story is written in the first chapter of I Kings.
You see, one of his sons, Adonijah, whose mother was Haggith, (we don't see these names on birth announcements much, so we?!) had pretty much crowned himself king of Israel. The reason that Adonijah put himself forward, and got chariots and horses ready is because "His father had never interfered with him by asking, "Why do you behave as you do?" He was also very handsome and was born next after Absalom" Remember? Absalom has just died, while also making his 'run' for the throne.
The point I'm making is this, do we ever interfere in a healthy way with our kids and ask our adult children, "Why do you behave as you do?"
Just wondering. It seems to me that if Christian parents would interfere and ask that question, and not freak out at the answer they may receive, the world would be so much better off.
My heart breaks when I see young people use each other up and toss each other aside--without the benefit of marriage. These 'unions' bring about all kinds of repercussions for later years. I have lived long enough to see much trouble, and many results from bad choices.
Consequences for choices are very real. And, consider with me: how much pain and suffering could be eliminated if parents (who are definitely older than their children, thereby possess more life experience that lends itself to valuable insight to life) would stop saying things like "Oh, they are just young--they are trying to express themselves-every one of their friends is doing this."
And start saying: "No matter what you do, I'm going to love you --but could you just tell me, why do you behave, (act, make these decisions) as you do? Why?" And then, truly listen, offer correction with gentleness and respect. Tell them your failure stories, not in a self-righteous way, but in a way that you explain where you went wrong, and then encourage them not to follow the same lead--but to look for something better.
Young adults: start edifying each other; stop using each other. If you are reading this, and you don't have a parent that will ask you, then I'll ask you: "Why do you behave as you do?"
This weighs heavy on my heart. It seems as though you do not value this amazing gift you have that is your life...you do not seem to take your life very seriously--for relationships take much work, much commitment--they are so much more than sex and convenience.
Yes, I speak from many years of being married to the same man for almost 32 years. Believe me when I say that it has not always been easy, in fact some of those years, Randy & I have been through, for lack of a better term: Hell and back. It is so worth the commitment, the investment, the time we have wept together--out of pain and in the midst of complete joy. He is the sweetest man, but if we had not gone through the really really 'bad' stuff, we would never have found this newer, better, more intimate place we now enjoy in our marriage. You are not going to find that in your older years without commitment in your younger years, because that kind of intimacy takes years to cultivate--it doesn't happen just because you move in together...or like having babies or getting puppies together...
Go ahead, ask this question of your kids, grand kids, cousins, nieces and nephews...it is important...King David, apparently didn't ever ask it, had he, perhaps his children would have had different lives--just sayin'.
No comments:
Post a Comment