I can hear the wind blowing around the eaves of our home, and I can see the grey clouds covering the sky. My view consists of shades of brown, lighter greens and grey--it looks really cold out there, and it sounds even colder.
For the first time this week, this view matches many of the emotions I have as I have watched the news and listened to the stories concerning the tragedy in Newtown, CT, last Friday. Once again, our country is faced with overwhelming grief. Grief that touches all walks of life, for almost everyone has 'lost' someone they love. What makes this event so much more tragic is that these are little children--innocent...some one's little lovey--or big sister--or sweet grand baby--or source of great hugs and giggles. These were precious children, celebrated and loved by the ones who knew them best. Now, they are celebrated by the population of the world through their stories and the pictures of their little faces that come to us through the media.
My heart breaks for the ones left to grieve. At the same time I cannot help but consider the side stories that culminate in this event. Side stories that debate gun control and gun rights issues--or stories that give security gurus a place to share. Yes, guns in the hands of mentally unbalanced people is not a wise place of our society to place itself.
It is no surprise, however, mankind has been killing senselessly for thousands of years. In this, I am reminded of an ancient mad man, King Herod. For when this King realized that the wise men from the east had come to worship the King of Kings, new born baby, Jesus, he was 'disturbed.' He eventually gave orders "to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under." And, in that moment the words of the prophet Jeremiah were fulfilled: "A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more." (this story is found in Mt 2) --as long as people are 'disturbed'--there will continue to be killings that make no sense.
We weep with the community of Newtown, we mourn for the lives that were taken so brutally during this season. Great mourning and weeping and a refusal to be comforted....because these children are no more. They are no more, here on this earth, but I think I know of a little girl that most likely helped settle them in to Heaven.
There are those that will debate the mental health issues that our society faces. In our fractured system, no one will win in that debate. Medical doctors and psychiatrists are not the ones that actually diagnose and practice medicine--for ultimately, health care, especially mental health care, is a money game. Unfortunately for our society, the ones making the treatment decisions are the insurance companies and their underwriters...who, I do not believe for one second have invested the time or intellect to medical school.
It is easy for young people--especially 18-25 year olds to get lost in this system--especially the young people that have been housed, fed and clothed by governmental agencies for most of their lives. THIS breaks my heart. The current system is broken because it comes from the minds of men...very intelligent people, but perhaps have been somewhat short-sighted in thinking about the effects of their decisions on future generations--especially the decisions to do away with institutions that dealt directly with the mentally challenged in our land.
I have written about grief in previous blog posts, speaking from my perspective and experience. Many times when I have spoken of grief, and the comfort I have received from God's presence, those words are met with disbelief. It is hard to imagine facing grief without it, but the reality is: people do it every day--needlessly.
What a season we have to enjoy those we love, remember those we have sent on to Heaven-but mostly, and do not miss this: to enjoy the sweet presence of God. There is nothing like it, for this is where peace that surpasses understanding is found and enjoyed. Learn to savor it, to treasure it and to seek it--prepare now, so that when you do face those darkest days of grief--or grey cold winter of the soul--you can do it with joy and peace.
I do not wish to walk this journey of life, if His presence does not go with me. I hope that makes sense. God's presence, the assurance of Hope we have in Him, enable us to live a joyful life--notice I did not say 'happy' life--for happiness is a good thing, but it does not last--it is fleeting and circumstantial. The joy of the Lord is our strength--remember? (Nehemiah 8:10)
I do not want to face any journey of grief, if God's presence is not available there--just as Moses did not want to go in to the 'Promised Land-or even the journey to get there' without God's presence. The longest journey through grief I have ever known was in grieving our child, and each time a child dies, I remember all too well, the ache in my heart--in my arms and in my soul--for what had been, what could have been, and for what would never be, while on this earth.
At the exact same moment, though, I am overwhelmed by this presence of God, that reassuringly calms my soul, and eases the aches in my arms. It's like thinking about the grey colors of the sky outside our window, yet knowing and taking comfort in the fact that 'just above' the cloud cover is a gorgeous blue sky that includes the wonder of the sunshine in the day, and star light by night! In the midst of pain and suffering there is a place of calm and peace--truly--but seeking it must be purposeful and steady--for there are many distractions when we grieve.
Mostly, there is a temptation to become fearful of everything...and everything--from the phone to the mail box...even a fear of setting the table, or doing the laundry. The beginning of this kind of fear begins from believing some lie. So, as we grieve, be careful to know the Truth, and keep yourself from believing lies. Do not be fearful. When you are fearful, you are not Trusting...so replace that fear with the Truth that you can find in Scripture, or from the words of a faithful friend. Test everything, if there is trace of a lie--put it aside. For, I know this to be true, in the darkest moments in life--God is faithful...His presence is sweet--when nothing else brings comfort, calms our fears, wipes our tears, or gives us hope.
And, just like THAT, color has appeared in my view--a gorgeous male cardinal and a very proud male blue jay have appeared on our fence--to make me smile and know that I just need to 'be still--and know that God, is God!'
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