Wednesday, December 31, 2008

It's almost over...

This break from school/work is almost over!

2008 is all but OVER!!!

The girls will be going back to school in just a few short days. It's going to be really quiet around here when that happens. Of course, they are excited because that means that their birthday is here, as well!

I can't believe those sweet little tiny babies that we brought home when they were 4 days old... are going to turn 13...Some amazing things have happened in that time.

I look at our girls, all of them, and think: "O, my, we are trying to raise women."...in this world, where things are crazy, we're trying to raise women that will love themselves enough not to compromise their morals...love God enough to win others to their faith...love their husbands and children (someday!) and continue to love each other. If anything, that's one thing that brings about 'fear' in me...will our girls still love each other and communicate with each other after their dad & I are 'gone'...
I look around at people I know, and it seems to be a trend in our culture, siblings, just drift apart, sometimes it's just time & distance...sometimes there's true conflict that is never resolved after parents die.
It's late, and I'm getting mushy...sorry...I can be sentimental...it's New Year's Eve....

Some old friends are surfacing in our lives again...which is and could be a really good thing...I can't wait to see what God does with this one!!!
--I'll keep you posted!

Monday, December 29, 2008

Getting Ready for the New Year!

I love thinking about a new year!! A new beginning...new opportunities, new days, new calendars, new pens, new, fresh sheets of paper to write on...(I love office supplies).

I have no idea what to expect or plan for 2009...2008 was certainly full of surprises for me. As I look back, let's see:
**The middle school my twins just started attending is going to be renovated before next school year, so they will be attending school in a church building for the remainder of this school year.
**We had a wreck in the summer, which totalled our vehicle, broke my back, cut my right shin and dis-located one of my toes...I didn't recover quickly from this...but I think I'm fully recovered now.
**This made it necessary for us to replace that vehicle.
** I was invited to attend something called: The Great Banquet this fall. This was probably the most significant spiritual retreat I've ever experienced. It was amazing. I'm anxious to share that experience with anyone who would attend.--It truly made a difference in my life.
**My family and I witnessed an arrest in down town St. Louis.
**We camped out in the rain...and got really cold...but had a fabulous time, laughing and getting really wet & muddy.
**I have been able to meet & work with some amazing people to further God's kingdom this year.
**Our family expanded this Nov. to include a new granddaughter.
**My husband surprised me with a different car.
**In the summer, my grandma (who I think is 86) was able to fly to visit us, from 1,500 miles away! While she was here to visit, we had a portrait taken of the women in our immeidate family, which was fabulous, there are 9 of us, which includes 4 generations.

Unexpected things happen. The ones I've mentioned were mostly really good things, or the outcome was really good! Not to say that there were no bad things that happened in my life.
If I said that, I would be lying. I don't lie. So, of course, there have been some really bad and really sad moments in 2008. The thing is, there are always going to be really bad, sad things happen...that's because we are not in heaven...we live on earth, which is imperfect.

So, the moment I'm living in right now is all I have...to experience the good stuff, the bad stuff, but to always look for the good, in every experience! Looking for the silver lining...the hope...the passion...And, so:
Happy New Year!

Friday, December 26, 2008

The Day After Christmas!

I've always declared this day a household holiday...usually planning through it just like events & timing of Christmas Eve & Christmas Day!

Some years we've shopped, some we've traveled, some we've taken down the Christmas tree(s) and some we've done nothing at all!

I love the last few days of the year...I spend a lot of time savoring the current year, thinking about it's events for our family and me personally, and contemplating the future, what the new year might hold...I don't think I really want to know details...just a pencil drawing!!

Today is overcast and quiet here...I'm enjoying the 'holiday'! Just thinking & praying!
--You enjoy, too!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Having a Merry Little Christmas...

A Merry Christmas looks different to everyone. For me, it's everyone in our family being togethher, laughing and talking at once.

Last night was just that. Our kids have all grown older, (one married with a family of her own and the others who love to sleep in) we've traded opening gifts on Christmas Morning for opening on Christmas Eve. This helps Alayna & Wes celebrate with their own family in the morning, the other girls get to sleep in, and Randy & I have a quiet couple of hours before everyone else gets up!

Chrimas Eve has become our time! Together, we attended our church's Christmas Eve service. There are always many people there, so it's good to see people that are home for the holidays! It was good, that service is different every year. This year we were challenged to, at some point during the evening or during Christmas day, read the Christmas story with our family from our Bibles.
(we did this every year on Christmas Eve right before bed when I was a little girl, but we have been lesss than consistent in reading it with our family)

As we were leaving the church building, Madison asked if she could read it to our family sometime during the evening! This was a huge surprise to me--the younger girls really struggle to read, and for her to volunteer made me very happy!!!

We had dinner together, and laughed a lot. Will was in rare form! Then the presents got passed out, and ripped open! There were some surprises, and more laughter! Ally took it all really well, getting passed from mom to g-mar to grandpa to any of the three very proud aunts. We all just enjoyed watching her sleep and dream her little new-born baby dreams!

Alayna & Wes started packing up everything that was to go to their house, then it happened! Madison said, "I wanted to read the Christmas story!"

--Side note: My very wise friend, Rita (who just lost her mom), told me that she was 'getting through' this season by focusing on those of her family that are here...not the ones she's missing so much. Because she's wise, and I think she's really right, I decided to make a conscious effort to do just that. Focus on our kids that are with us. Not the one I miss so very much. I also remembered that I had chosen to Celebrate. No time to be sad...not this night, anyway!

And, so, I sat beside Madi, (in case she struggled with a word) and held little Ally. We all gathered in our family room, and listened. She did a great job. This was a truly blessed event for us. And so, just when the story was over, we were thanking each other, saying good byes and starting to get 'mushy'...

Will walks in, in just the way a three year old can, with his little plaid Christmas pants, and tie, tap tap shoes and corduroy 'cap'...and his new pirate eye patch covering one eye, and carrying not the pirate 'knife' he'd gotten, no, he was carrying a huge hunk of ham that he'd helped himself to from the kitchen! Hilarious!!!

Today, we'll cook a big brunch a little later on, after the girls wake from their sleep... then play some games, maybe watch a movie...and then, we'll gather together again tonigt to eat steak and laugh some more!

A Merry Little Christmas, indeed! --But Mary treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart. Luke 2:19

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

God is good...God is great!

Indeed! We spoke these words as a child, sometimes meaning them, and sometimes, as a means to get on with the meal!

Take a look at this: You are good and what you do is good; teach me your decrees. Psalm 119:68. And, then if I look across the page in that passage, these words: Your statutes are my heritage forever; they are the joy of my heart. My heart is set on keeping your decrees to the very end. Psalm 119:111 & 112

The psalmist is speaking to and about God, Himself. Saying that God is good!

Be aware, though, of this: Our enemy, who hates us, tries to decieve us and make us think that this life is all about us. That bad things happen because God doesn't care, or He isn't watching over us...this is a LIE of Satan. It is good to remember that our battles are not against flesh & blood but against the forces of evil, which are out to seek, kill and destroy us at any price, and for some, that price is their very life!

I must keep this in mind at all times. God is GOOD!!! He alone is GOOD, (even Jesus said this!)...and HIS statutes are my heritage...they need to be the joy of my heart.

The only way that I am ever going to know what HIS statutes are, or the character of the Mighty God of the Universe, is to open HIS book!!!!

I want my heart to be set on keeping His decrees...to the very end...no matter what is ahead of me, no matter who may be watching, and no matter what I see as the consequences...just replacing the fear of all those with trust in HIM! Knowing that when I need it, divine wisdom is one prayer away! Knowing that when I need it most, divine courage is a prayer away...

I know that I know that I know...because the Bible tells me so, and also because God has seen me through many moments where it could've gone either way!

He is faithful, His word is true...God is GOOD!!!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Christmas Sunday...

Today is what our family calls Christmas Sunday. We always take a family picture after church ...so, today we did that, and every one was actually smiling!--There are SO many of us, it's hard to get a smile on every face at the same split second!

It moved my heart to watch our married daughter's family all dressed up in complementing outifits...the newborn and the three year old in brother/sister outfits! Our grandson, Will, was so proud in his 'tap tap' shoes! They aren't actual 'tap' shoes, he calls them that because of the sound they make when he walks across a hard surface floor! He usually wears soft-sole shoes, so when you're three, hearing your steps is a big deal!

This evening, we celebrated Christmas with our small group. We hosted it here, laughed a lot--and ate a lot! And, opened great presents from each other! And, laughed some more.
We are so very blessed to have this group of friends. We have good friends all over the place...but this group is so good together! We love being together, sharing similar goals and interests.

Our group now includes a celebrity of sorts...One of the men in our group, just got back from LA, where he was filming a TV commercial! It will be used in the Washington DC area during the Super Bowl! It was fun to hear his stories about photo shoots and make up and 'wardrobe'...no one we know talks about such things!

Tomorrow, as I clean up the mess, I will reflect on the evening, sometimes that's as much fun as the actual event. Re-living the conversations, and recalling what a great time we had together!

We have great reason to celebrate...and we should, at every opportunity, do just that:
Celebrate! 'Tis the Season! Go, Celebrate the Son!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Mystery solved!

No school! There's ice every where but it is cozy inside with warm heat and sweaters and hot tea! So, I get to be with the girls all day. There seems to be new interest with them to cook, so perhaps we'll try to cook a bit today!! We needed a day at home, apparently!

Our staff gets each other presents for Christmas...then at random times, we distribute them to each other's offices...Monday morning Guy called to say to come to his office at 9:30... I thought he wanted to talk about Christmas services or something...so I got a cup of coffee and went over. To my delight, he'd brought in a message therapist for 10 minute sessions for each of us as our Christmas presents from him...HOW COOL! It was wonderful! And, so thoughtful!!!--And, exactly what I needed that day!

I have a freind, who has become 'closer' to me in recent weeks...when we talk, time passes quickly, too quickly, actually! We set a specific time to talk on the phone, a week and a half ago..she had a window of about 50 minutes for this...our conversation lasted almost 2 hours...it was worth it...she refers to me as her coach...I learn many things from her, right now, though, I need her to affirm that my theology of God & life is authentic and on track--And, she assures me that it IS!--Which turns out to be exactly what I needed this week: affirmation!!

Funny how things work out like that!--The coincidences of life are so much closer together when they are prayed over, and given to God, there's no mystery there, it's God, in His timing being faithful!!!! And, I'm here to remind anyone who reads this that HE IS FAITHFUL!!!--I can't wait to see what God does with 2009!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Today is Better!

This has been a 'blue week' for me. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that it has been overcast and cloudy and/or rainy all week! Actually, I ususally love those kinds of days, because I can curl up easily with a good book, by the fire and read.
I'm supposed to be celebrating, because it's Christmas season. Of course, I love Christmas, always have! When I was a little girl my sister & I would get up, literally, at 3-4am...to see what Santa had left us...Times have changed! Our kids never got up earlier than 6am on Christmas morning, and now, they would sleep til noon, if we let them!
The house is as decorated as it is going to get, the presents are wrapped and the shopping is done! I have much to be thankful for in very healthy children, a great & healthy husband, who is employed.
I have a wonderful Savior, Redeemer, friend, in my Jesus...I have really no reason to be 'blue'. And, yet, here I've been. Sad. I have no physical pain that I live with every moment of the day, like a woman I met this week. I have no physical condition that threatens to take my life, like another woman I met this week. But, I live in the midst of pain all the time. It is a way of life for me. My God takes it away, and comforts me, but sometimes I let it linger too long before I give it to Him. He never leaves me...He is all I need. And so, a change of focus is what I need to do...just change it.
And, Celebrate...but I've discovered that Celebrating is a choice that I must make...it isn't a natural thing for me to do at this point in my life...

Monday, December 8, 2008

Do I tremble at God's Word?

"This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word." Isaiah 66:2b
I love this verse. It was referenced in the sermon yesterday morning at church. I had never considered how it spoke to me before. When I think about what is means to actually tremble at God's word...that's how my soul longs for His word, His HOLY scripture: His truth!--to the point of trembling...have to have it! His word gives me hope, His word gives me a future...His word gives me assurance...and great promise!
His promises are sure... in Luke 9:48 Jesus' words ...whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me...For he who is least among you all--he is the greatest."
For the least of these...
For the least of these...that keeps going through my mind...
Joel 2:13 says Rend your heart and not your garments.--Our heart is the most important thing to Our God, Our King...more important than anything we have...the only thing we can offer Him to change.
If I've given to God my heart to change, then my prayer would be that His word would penetrate and change me from the inside out...making me pleasing and acceptable to Him. If His word is changing me and it serves to nourish me, I'm going to crave it...tremble to receive it! I never want to take for granted what easy access God's word is to me...I don't have to hide my copy anywhere...or fear for who may know that I have it! I Praise Him for that! My earnest prayer, though, would be that I would actively crave God's word...because it is true!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Blessed be Your Name!

Blessed be your Name...though there's pain in the offering...You give and take away, but my heart will choose to say, blessed be Your Name!

When Steven & Mary Beth Chapman lost their 5 year old daughter, Maria, in May this year, my heart broke for them...knowing their pain in such an odd and familiar way. I sent them a card with words of encouragement. Not knowing if they would ever see it, but knowing it was something I 'had' to do! Their pain was so real to me...

The deaths of both our daughters and family situations were very similar. Our youngest daughter was hit by a car at the end of our drive way...Our family includes adopted children, as well as birth children! We, like the Chapman family, had an older child getting married just a few months after our daughter's accident. Our Macy, like their Maria, was buried in her flower girl dress. Alike, but different.

We grieved very publicly, because we live in a small town where everyone knows us...the Chapman's have had to grieve a very similar loss in an even LARGER public eye...

I'm saying all that to say this: It has only been during this year (almost five years after teh accident) that I can sing the above lines to the song, 'Blessed be Your Name' without tears running down my face.

Today, I received a post card with a beautiful smiling Maria Chapman's face on it. The message was just a 'thank you' signifying that the card I had sent had, indeed, found its way to their family to bring them truth and encouragement in their time of great loss. Of course these went out to many many people...
The really cool thing is this: they used the words to this song as the closing to their message! All I can say is: WOW! What a mighty God we serve! It is, indeed, with HOPE that we grieve, knowing that those we love so much are safe in the arms of our King, Jesus--Faithful Redeemer, sovereign Saviour!
Praise Him Eternally!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Mentoring Moments

I love volunteering with the mentoring program with our local school system. My 'match' is such a delight! She writes poems, or songs and talks all the time! This is our third school year together. We've decided to write a book about our friendship. We think this will be great fun, as we find out about each other, and encourage each other!
Our GriefShare group will have it's last session tomorrow evening. We will be starting a new group in January. There has been some interest...there's always people losing someone they love. Everyone handles grief in a different way...my goal is to handle it with HOPE! And, the grief I've faced was SO much bigger than me, I could never have done it on my own strength! The truth of the matter is this: it's a part of this thing we call life. And, so, we need to be equipped to journey through this with as much health as we can muster...sometimes that's on our own strength, but to really heal, it takes Jesus. He's the balm for those hurts. I know this, because that's what He's done for me!
I have a new friend who recently told me that I'm 'intense'. Which is exactly what the above paragraph turned out to be...I know this is not 'light reading material'...if you want that, go to a different blog. The truth about me is this: I think all the time...I won't claim to be a 'deep thinker'...but I'm at least a thinker.
I drive a really cool car. It's a convertible, SAAB--lime green!! My husband recently surprised me with it, as a gift...an early Christmas present! I really love it. Yesterday, it talked to me...it told me that I have a 'right low beam failure'...which means it already has to go to be in the 'shop'. This is ok, as it just stands to remind me that it's only metal. That car isn't where my hope lies. That car, even though it makes me very happy to drive it...is NOT my source of joy. The JOY that I have comes from my God & my King!--Jesus...He's where my HOPE is secure...He's where my JOY comes from...He's my strength, my shield, and my guide... And, He calls ME friend!!! The creator of the universe knows how many hairs are on my head, and cares what size shoe I wear! Astounding!
Sometime soon, before I actually invite people to read this, I must decide what it is that I'm going to write about!
Perhaps encouragement for the moment!
Perhaps just my application of Bible verses...who knows!
I'm not sure, but when readers leave this blog, I want them to know that there is HOPE! There is JOY...indescribable and beyond understanding...and Beyond Measure!!! Praise HIM for that!!!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Typical Monday?

Today is a normal Monday at our house! Make plans for the day, and then they get changed!!! The twins were ready to walk out the back door to school, when Mallory looked at me and said, "I'm not feeling too good!--I might throw up!"...Well, that was all it took. She was in her pj's very soon, and Madi was out the door, and on her way to school. These girls are funny and high energy, I hate it when they don't feel good. Hopefully, this won't last long.
After a little while, I ran to the office, cleaned out a few shelves, grabbed my computer and came back home with some work to do.
This year, I've been teaching from Psalms in our women's Sunday school class. The goal is for our class to learn to know God more and more and to love Him with every fiber of their beings! One of the greatest things about God is that He reveals Himself--His character, in His word... It is so exciting to me to go there and find HIM!!! Actually, it takes my breath away!
Next week, I'll be teaching from Psalm 117...I know, it's only 2 verses...but I think they are packed with relevant things for us to learn!
It's kind of cozy just sitting here looking out the back window of our kitchen, the wind blowing and the snow coming down! I have such a new appreciation for over-cast days. To me, they are gorgeous...such blue and grey color! Fantastic. How Great is Our God to think of these colors!
And, as a bonus: a fresh cup of hot tea next to me...I love this stuff! I have a special flavor that I've only been able to find in a city 3 hours from me, so I drink it sparingly!
It's a great day to wrap Christmas presents, or put up more decorations! I think that's what I'll do, since I'll be here in the house for the rest of the day!

Sunday, November 30, 2008

My First Post!!!

I'm so excited to be able to share my thoughts in such a way as this! My sister & daughters are way more tech-freindly than me, so this is a stretch for me.
This week, we've been blessed with a brand new grand baby, Ally Nicole! She's doing great and is greatly loved by her mommy, daddy and big brother, Will. We celebrated Thanksgiving with family, and had a great time, eating, cooking, laughing and joking around together.
Our weeks are spent with great times, and then not so great times.
I've decided that this is the way of life: a huge mixture of great & not so great all at the same time.
This has been a week of celebration, and yet, there are those around me that are suffering from the recent loss of loved ones, in fact I need to go to two visitations yet this evening. This is the stuff that brings us back to earth, and yet, stands to remind us that life is worth celebrating, precisely because it is too short to squander!
Blessings to you & yours!