The Life I had Planned!

Life changing week ahead...it's Thanksgiving week, our little grand daughter turns one year old, our second oldest daughter will turn 23 and our nephew is marrying the woman of his dreams! I'm already feeling it, and my emotions will be running just under the surface of my skin...and dripping out the corners of my eyes!

We truly have much to be thankful for, and much to celebrate!

Memories of 'Thanksgiving's past', life before we were grandparents...and Dane (our nephew) & Holly (our second-oldest) when they were little babies (or, better yet, when he was a little boy covered in mud most of the time & she was in her little tutu & rubber boots walking around the track in the back yard!!) I get very emotional when I consider these things...there could be happy tears, and/or sad tears...but somehow, they all mingle together to the point that the average on-looker wouldn't be able to tell the difference and I would like to keep it that way...

"I'm letting go of the life I planned for me and my dreams"...a line of lyrics to a song I've been listening to a lot recently...but this line is Oh, so true...my life looks nothing like what I had planned...and, in many ways, that is in and of itself something to be truly thankful for...

In the life I had planned, there was no pain, no suffering, no death, no harsh words...no sickness, no broken dishes, or shirts that bleach accidently gets splattered on...only smiles and balloons, and really happy times...

So, there you have it, how truly shallow I really am...and at the exact same moment, if you know anything at all about me, you realize, that in the pain and suffering and disappointment and death and sickness, sometimes even in the harsh words, and certainly in the incidental moments of dishes accidently crashing and bleach splattering...that's the stuff of life--it all happens, and it is never at the 'best moment'....it's messy and unpredictable...

But, in those times, I can truly see God's provision, mercy and grace intertwined in such a way that it just makes me long to worship Him more, and to be drawn closer to Him. For those moments when things go upside down, and they are NOT what we planned, we can truly experience Our Mighty God. The God of the Universe, the Creator of All things, the God of Abraham, Isaac & Jacob..the Ancient of Days...the God to whom no day is a surprise!

Life, as long as I'm trusting God to provide my next step, is truly a wild ride...And, so with this in mind, I'll let you know how the rest of the week turns out...exhausted, bruised, content and completely joyful...I'm not certain...just praying for wisdom, strength, courage and faith to make it through these next eight weeks...(and, I'll stay away from bleach during this time!)holidays, birthdays, a wedding and a little vacation...WOW!!!--so, sing with me:

"I'm letting go...
it feels like I'm falling
and that's what it's like to believe...!!!"

What Satisfies You?

Thanks for the comments from the last post that I did on this blog! I'm going to do some more research before I launch a blog about grief/grieving with hope...but, keep the comments coming.

I feel that God is very near. I feel that He gives me inspired ideas for things to write and say...I just have to listen and obey, and sometimes, I fail miserably at both!--His mercy is great, I am living proof!

This fall has been a busy, no, very busy season for me! This hit me just today...I had lunch with a couple of friends...they are a delight to 'lunch' with...but I started re-counting the things that have had my attention since August! Let me just say that it would certainly was easy for me to let some things slide. One example would be 'up-to-date' posts on this blog!

Women's ministry launched, at the beginning of September, the Beth Moore study of Daniel. WOW! What a study. What a challenge. A challenge to not only learn the material, but to keep up!

What a blessing it is to stretch out and grasp new concepts and challenges that God's Word presents! Daniel certainly was just that! God's word, though, as a whole is a fascinating book...and the more I learn, the more I realize I don't know! --Which means that studying it for me should be endless! And, God is faithful to help in the understanding and application, as long as we're willing to put in the time and resolve to 'just do it'! (study, that is!)

Our Monday afternoon group just moved from Exodus to Joshua...that is an exciting time! And our congregation is going through the New Testament together, one chapter each week day this year. Amazingly enough, all these have tied together somehow in my brain to where they each enhance the other! God's Word is like that, isn't it? --Holy, Timeless, Applicable--1,500 years ago, as well as today!, and above all: Living! God's word is like food for our soul...actually that's why we crave it, if we have the Holy Spirit living in us...because Holy Spirit craves God's Word! In our human-ness we try to thwart the craving with other 'stuff' but, nothing satisfies except the Word!--Not anything!

Happy Wednesday!--Thanks for reading!

Just a mist--appearing for a little while...

God is doing some amazing things. As an example, He gets my attention in ways that I would never dream, ask or imagine.
Life is short, we are a mist, only appearing for a short time, and then we're gone...but God's Word...lasts forever...because it is living. This is an amazing concept--one I don't completely understand, but I do completely believe!
Life is short. Live it on purpose. Do I do a good job at this? Probably, there is much room for improvement...I do enjoy life, most of the time. I look for the good.
I strive to be 'heavenly minded'...and think about God and heaven and obedience and mercy and His unending grace. His amazing grace.
His abundant blessing. His provision in my life. God's plan to use even me in the 'grand scheme of things' for this planet while my personal 'mist' is here.

In the past month, I've spoken twice publicly, and had many conversations privately about my personal relationship with Jesus...God's Son.
My choice to believe, His choosing me.
My choice to 'act on my faith'...His choice to bless that effort, and increase my faith.

Amazingly, these are things that speak to people who are searching for 'something' to fill that 'God-sized' blank space in their soul.

My story is really no different than anybody else's ...more tragic than some at this point, not as tragic as others. However, in spite of the tragedies, I find is rest. Rest in a faithful, loving God...and many never find that rest. They seek it other places...or perhaps they do not even know that's what they are looking for.
You see, I believe that true rest comes from knowing Jesus SO well that complete trust in Him and His faithfulness negates worry! Bad things happen here, this isn't heaven. But, if we're listening to the Holy Spirit's nudging us, we can witness some amazing things!--really!

In real life it looks like this:
There are so many new faces in the place I worship each week. This is great.! It is also a little overwhelming...the constant question becomes: where do I begin to try to connect?
I almost walked past a lady just this morning. 'Almost' is key to that sentence: but, I felt like, 'she's the one I'm supposed to connect with today'...so, I introduced myself, lent an ear for a few moments to get 'her story'...and, within the first few words of our conversation, I knew she was the 'God-appointed connection' for me at that moment!
After I told her my name, she told me hers, and then she said: "You're the grief lady?"...

I suppose that's one way to describe me...but the amazing thing is, that's the second time this week that's happened to me...the other time I was in a local restaurant.

My point here is this: as much as we dread talking about death & dying...it happens...and because it happens, there will be those left behind to grieve the loss that that death caused.

If we love deeply, as we are told to do in scripture, then when we lose people that we love deeply, we are going to grieve. And, no, no matter what our culture says, we will not be 'over it' in the three days we might get for 'bereavement leave.' It takes time. It is intentional this journey of grief. We don't do it like those who have no hope, but there are still things we must deal with for good mental health and a good 'eternal perspective.'

I'm thinking I need to start just a 'grief blog'...Any thoughts? Should I? What do YOU think? Leave a comment...PLEASE!

Note: Today has been a day of Tears!

Days like this just help under-line God's provision in my life. His presence is everything to me, and precious, holy moments happen when I can feel Him near me. I get to speak soon about my relationship with God. It's very exciting to me to think about talking about it...what God means to me in every day life...and loving Him with all my heart! I also get a little scared that I'll leave something important 'out'...however, I know that the Holy Spirit IN me is wise counsel, and He will prompt me to what I need to say!

Today, my emotions are very close to the surface, as I've spent most of this day in one worship service, or another...I've felt God's presence close around me most of this day...so precious to me. Yet, as I type it, I'm not even certain that I'm writing it with the amount of 'holy awe' that a discussion of a Holy God deserves.

I know that God is sovereign, He's in His Heaven, yet He's in me, because of His Holy Spirit...He's worthy of all my praise, He's Holy, His Son died for me, that blood was the sacrifice I needed for my sins to be forgiven...God has a divine plan for my life...He's worthy of my praise...He's to be exalted High above all!

Worship Him, for He is Worthy!