It's a Christmas Play...Lovin' it!!!

You know they come every year, the annual Christmas play, concert or pageant. Each year, about this time, perhaps multiple performances or only one, at the director's discretion.

We attended a Christmas play/musical tonight called "Skipping Christmas." Tonight's version included the story of Jesus and how a baby can change your life...that baby, Baby Jesus, whom we cannot leave in the manger because He came to go to the Cross for us...to become Our Savior!

The first half was loosely based on a book written by John Grisham that later became a movie entitled "Christmas with the Krank's." That movie was released on Thanksgiving Day, 2004. I remember this because it was the first holiday season we were facing without Macy Jo and PaPa Bishop. We had purposed to have Thanksgiving be a simple affair, an "alike-but-different" approach. We had our 'non-traditional dinner' on Wednesday night. On the traditional day of Thanksgiving, we went to Carbondale, IL to Denny's, then to that movie with our entire family...just to laugh! And, laugh, we did--the whole day--from the comedy of the meal to the comedy of the movie...

That movie inspired me in many ways. First I was inspired to immediately form a plan for our family to host a Christmas Eve party that year. This plan would help me carry out the 'alike-but -different' approach I'd formulated as a constructive way to grieve through the holidays, yet stay involved and celebrate.

And, celebrate we did! We invited everyone we knew to stop by and visit throughout the evening on Christmas Eve that year...and many accepted our invitation! It was fun, and the planning and carrying out the party kept me very busy. Yet throughout the month of December, I still had quiet moments when the heaviness of grief would engulf me. I could weep alone or with my husband, or with our kids, but the dark clouds of grief never over took, they were kept at bay because we were intent on putting together a celebration.

Tonight, especially, I was reminded of one dear friend and her family that brought us a beautiful gift that night, from their hearts. They had worked together to make it. It was two pewter colored picture frames, a pewter ornament and a small name plate, all arranged on a red velvet-covered board. One of the frames had a poem entitled "Merry Christmas from Heaven"...the ornament had "I'm spending Christmas with Jesus this year" engraved on it...the other frame was a picture of Macy Jo in front of the Christmas tree the year before, dressed in her little red velvet dress with white trim, also wearing the matching red & white hat pulled down on her brow. And in exact Macy Jo fashion: looking very sassy! The name plate simply said 'Macy Jo Bishop'. It was lovely.

That first year was hard, yet the Joy of the Lord was our strength, having our friends around us helped underline the second thing I took from that movie: the idea of living in community with like minded Christians. We are not alone in this thing called life!

To this day, children's programs are especially hard for me to face, no matter the season. The word hard, as used there means that I cry during them and I worry whether I am being a distraction to those around me.

Like this evening, at Rock Bridge. I was fine watching "Skipping Christmas", laughing at the appropriate times, and enjoying the music...and then the little girls came out to dance. Little ones, like 3-6 year-olds each dressed in (you guessed it) red velvet dresses with white cuffs around their sleeves and hems. I cried and cried, and didn't care who I distracted...except, I looked at my dear, sweet husband, and he was crying with me...sometimes, you just have to give in and admit that you just miss 'em. You just do. And, it's OK to cry and it's OK to distract...it's OK.

Soon after those precious little ones exited the stage, it was time for what I would call the "tap-dancing grannies" to dance on to the stage. And, OH MY GOODNESS did that make my heart sing! They were so cute...lovely, each one, white haired, and tap dancing...most of them looked like my Grandma AnnaBelle, who just turned 89! So precious! And, I thought to myself, none of them are up there without having lived through some sort of pain in their lives, yet they are up there, living it up, enjoying the moment, enjoying the 'community' of dancing together and celebrating the season and dancing, truly, like 'no body's lookin'--except they were lookin' and lovin' it!

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Today is the anniversary of my mom's birth. She turned seventy today! How fun is that? I'm just thankful that this year, as she's in Florida, we are in the same time zone! My mom has loved me my whole life. I know this isn't unique for most of us, but for some of my 'new' acquiantences, that is a precious commoditity they know little about.

Mom prays for me and my family every single day, she encourages me when I'm down, or even when she thinks I might be 'down'...she's always insisted that I give it a try, or step out in faith, or trust in Jesus, no matter what. I've witnessed her strength over the years, her faith journey and her servant's heart. She serves and serves and serves, like there's no tomorrow...I am truly thankful for her example, and the way that she loves me and my family. Because she is sucha servant, she completely understands the role my family now plays in this ministry. She has taken on our boys in true prayer warrior fashion, keeping up with their names and unique details about them so that she can pray specifically for them each day!

She loves unconditionally, and trusts God with every fiber of her being. We've been through some really difficult days together, she, my sister and me...and we've remained very close, even though the miles seperate us, physically. I am proud to call her mom, and so truly blessed by her example! Thanks, mom, I love you so much.

Coming A--part...

Yesterday, included in my "Mornings with Tozer" devotional," it says: Apart from the Scriptures we have no sure philosophy; apart from Jesus Christ we have no true knowledge of God; apart from the in-living Spirit we have no ability to live lives morally pleasing to God!--A.W. Tozer.

I was delighted last week, to find that there were a couple of 'new books' on the shelf of our local book store that were focused on Tozer, himself. That was fun to consider, as one was a compilation of his favorite writers that was supposed to have helped him in forming his theology, I think the words on the cover said something like "from his personal library." Those words made me smile--for many reasons.

This week has been a week of "growing" and "self-realizations" for me, as we came face to face with the reality of where we are--and the realization that the 'honey moon is over' so to speak. Holidays are a blessed time, surrounded with family, friends and food, and hopefully laughter.

The realization hit me during the moments before our meal on Thanksgiving Day. A meal that I had been planning for a month, and prepared for a couple of days. A meal that would include our five family members plus seven strangers... I use the term strangers loosely here because we know them, the know us, we are friends, but we are all unrelated to each other. I, of course, am talking about the boys that are in the care of this ministry, four of which live in our home.

The reality hit me right between the eyes when the 'newest' member of our home could not face the meal, choosing, instead to stay in his room, under the covers. The fact is: there have been holidays when the 'meal' was the most difficult part. Of course, these meals came during my adult years (the holidays after my parent's divorce, the Thanksgiving morning that my grandma Sisk died, the holidays after we lost Randy's parents and Macy, to name a few) and I did not stay in my bed..even though I wanted to. However, these boys faced this holiday with no one, except us--perhaps I was surprised more of them didn't want to take to their bed...

Because I've lived through painful holidays, I can relate. Not because I am super woman, but because the Scriptures (as Tozer reminds us above) are an important part of my life--a part that I cannot live without. You see, even in the most difficult places this life has takes us, because of who Jesus is to me, and because of the place scripture takes in my thought processes, I have peace that passes understanding, and the in-living Spirit is right there to guide and comfort me! I count this among one of the greatest gifts I have as a believer...

And, here I am, trying to encapsulate that knowledge, that peace, that path for the young men in our home that have little to no hope, little to no knowledge of God. How do I do that? How can I make them understand? How can I encourage them, and help them establish and come to a healthy hope and trust in an unseen God?

These are age old questions. These are age old problems. These are burning my thoughts and stirring the passion in me for the things of God. Like no other time in my life, I have to reconcile all this, and then formulate a plan...a new kind of normal. Why the urgency now, you may be asking, and what does this have to do with anything?

When we lost Macy, I had friends and family that were there to help in our darkest grief. Macy left because of an accident...no one had a choice in facing the reality of her going...it just happened. Our friends packed up and stored all her things within a few hours of her passing. I processed that grief and that loss in a way that surprised even me. But, I did not have to pack up her sippy cups, or her clothing, or her toys--someone else did that. I only had to face the rest of my life without her laughter and her smile and her gestures.

We find ourselves, again, experiencing the loss of a child, but in a different way. Two of the boys in our care chose to run away this past week end. I could write volumes about the event itself, but I will not share that here. What I will share is the great sadness that has washed over me...the feeling of complete and utter failure I have because they chose to leave our care. I cannot wrap my head around the fact that they chose to leave a warm home for a cold wet rainy night. Their choice has really nothing to do with me--I know this--but the loss is still the same. I was the one to pack all their belongings. It was me who prepared their room for the next boys that will be placed with us. I touched each of their earthly possessions and stored them away and wept for the loss.

In some strange way, I found myself comparing this present moment in time to that loss so long ago, and then to the loss of our nephew this past spring. Is that selfish? I do not know. Is that normal? I do not know. Is it real? YES. A resounding YES.

Coming apart, that is how I feel today. I know the One who can put me back together...the key, however, will be to allow Him to work in this situation and to watch as He unfolds His plan in each of these boy's lives. I am here to plant seeds, it is not up to me to reap the harvest, that will be for some one else, another time!

I take great comfort and feel encouraged concerning all this when I read John 18:1-11 and realize that Peter was not called to save& protect Jesus' life--he was called to spread God's word...perhaps that's my realization, as I come apart: I am not called to save the lives of these boys, just speak the word in to them! Pray that this will come about--with urgency! So that they, too, will be able to eventually live lives that are morally pleasing to God out of their own unique and sold-out love for Him. In the wait, I will probably weep more freely and openly...and constantly be 'ready-ing a room!'

A Glad and Thankful Heart

Being thankful has usually come easy for me. I can be thankful in the most rediculous situations...usually looking for a bright spot, or a silver lining to the cloud...or making lemonade out of lemons. I've noticed a lot of posts on my social network of friends recounting each day the things they are thankful for, which is good to do. I remember singing, as a little girl in a small church in Broughton IL, the words 'count your many blessings, name them one by one.'

Once I heard a well known speaker say that our prayers express our spiritual maturity, as they move from 'requests of God' to 'expressing thankfulness to God'. That makes a lot of sense, when you think about it. How we think about God, the Creator of the Universe is the most important thing about us. Scripture teaches us to be thankful in all circumstances. Go ahead, be bold, try it for a day: Just say "Thank You" to God for anything your hand touches, or your eye sees--or your emotions 'feel'.

I added this 'feel' part because it seems we live in a culture where we have bought in to the lie of Satan that if what we are feeling is unpleasant, we need medication to get through. I'm not going on about medication...but what I will tell you is that God created our feelings/emotions. He is intimately familiar with you and your feelings, according to Psalm 139....nothing is a surprise to Him.

One thing I considered this morning, as I was reading is that it has become somewhat 'old fashioned' to be truly thankful. I was reminded in my 'Mornings with Tozer' devotional that we should not be anxious to put away things that are 'ordinary' or 'commonplace' in our practices concerning God. (Tozer goes on to express a concern that "this existing mania for glamour and contempt for the ordinary are signs and portents in American society. Even religion has gone glamorous!" And then he talks about glamour instead of glory.) The scripture used to tie these thoughts together is 2 Thessalonians 2:15, which says: So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.

Embrace feelings, handle them appropriately according to God's word, embrace thankfulness, embrace this season. Sometimes it's the best holiday ever...sometimes, it's the worst...remember this place is not our home, and there will come glory that will outshine anything we experience here...anything...it's a promise we can live by!

Being thankful--it's the condition of your heart. Make certain that your heart has healthy attitudes and it is glad.

Be thankful!

Just this week...

Trees, and trees and more trees! Gorgeous color, and endless views of mountains, and more mountains. I know, the term mountain is relative location, and here in North Georgia, the mountains are covered in trees.

In the distance, in any direction I look, I can see them. When time allows, we love going on an explore to the east, winding over unfamiliar (at this point) roads to places we've never heard of or seen before.

We began the week Sunday afternoon at a small town east of here. A group of people, about four couples and their teen age kids, were putting together a Christmas Light display, for underpriviledged kids to be able to come meet Santa. We helped string lights, and test light bulbs, and they were not finished when we left. I very much enjoyed sitting and talking and laughing with people that were obviously very close to each other, and very comfortable with what they were doing. Just sort of blending in to the community: country music, (yeah, I know, not my favorite) laughter, it was great--in another part of the park there was a huge neighborhood soccer game going on.

Monday night was drama night. With two girls and five boys in the house, the girls were ready to move to Fiji and the boys were offering to pack their bags. In the end, however, all was well...

Tuesday is our 'day off'...great stuff. The girls got their eletronic tablets that day. They are pretty excited about that--of course, they don't have to use them til next semester, but they have them now to get all their music downloaded--I suppose that's why they need them, because that's what they are doing with them.

Wednesday, we were going to grill BBQ chicken...of course it was pouring down rain, so we kept it and fried it instead. Never again. That was crazy!

Today one of our boys wasn't feeling good. They can't just 'stay home' when this happens, they either have to have visible signs of illness (I will not explain that one, use your imagination), a fever or something for a dr. to diagnose. And so, we went to the dr's office this morning...oh yeah: sinus infection...yielded two prescriptions. He's home, resting today, will go back to tomorrow to school.

Soon, they will all be home from school. We are going, as a group to one of the other houses tonight to hear a young man's story, my hope is that it will truly make an impact on the lives of all that hear.

Did I ever Mention...

The fact that since we've lived here, Mallory has grown two inches? She especially loves this area because it's all about camouflage clothing and trucks and country music, some of her favorite things! And the fact that the girls, both of them, are now brunettes?

The fact that in this past month, since we settled here, we have gone to our high school just about every day, to either take some 'needed item', or to pick some one (all together we have four freshman, one sophomore and one junior, our eighth grader attends the middle school) up for an appointment. Because we are there so often and because the receptionist immediately 'took a liking' to us, Madison is an office aid this semester--which is great, because she is getting to know the administrators, and the kids and the building well! The most amazing thing about their high school is, first of all, that the building is brand new--it just opened in August. Driving up to it is pretty impressive, with the trees and mountains as a gorgeous back drop. But when you come out the front door, the view in that direction is breath-taking--literally!

The fact that I rave about how gorgeous North Georgia is all the time, because I love the hills, mountains, fall colors and weather...to the point that yesterday, one of our boys responded with "I am so sorry they didn't have trees where ya'all came from"...I probably shouldn't mention it again in their presence!--Hilarious!

The fact that I sat one entire day at a surgery center, while one of our boys had throat surgery. If you know me at all, you know that I 'do not do bodily fluids well'...(that's why God gave me Randy)...however, I even held his head and the bucket when the anesthesia was wearing off and the drink he'd been given needed to make an exit--and I didn't even flinch. Perhaps, I'm growing up. You may wonder, then, why didn't Randy just go with him, instead? Well, come to find out, this boy is really close to his momma...and she, for numerous reasons, was not present for this important event...he asked specifically if I could take him....how could I have said 'no'? He talked a lot about her, and his family, and we watched cooking shows while he was in recovery. Rand was there for a good portion of the day, and he's done a couple of the post op visits instead of me--we sort of trade off those kinds of appointments. On this same thought, one of the boys made a comment yesterday that made me stop in my tracks. We had a relief parent here, so we could have our time off and before we left she made a general comment to the boys about what a 'good momma' they have here now. This young man responded with 'yeah, she's the best mom I've ever had, and I've had four,' as he finished his peanut butter sandwich.

The fact that we are so busy most days, that we fall in to bed at night, exhausted. The other part of that is that we love love love what we are doing...and it shows up in the most unexpected places. While I loved being women's minister at our church, and still miss the interaction with the congregation and the staff terribly, I am certain that God has fashioned our lives to be exactly where we are right now. If I had not been 'there' I would not be nearly as equipped for the amount of pastoral care we do here.

The fact that pastoral care is a relative term...and I do not use it in reference only to the boys in our home...for, it seems, at every turn there is someone who tell me their story, and I find myself turning it back to scripture, or what God is doing in it or will do with it--what ever 'it' is!

The fact that our older girls miss us, and we miss them and the rest of our family terribly, but we get words and cards that say: "I love you both so much, but I know you are where you are supposed to be" is such a sign, not only of maturity, but also that they are supportive of this move in our lives. We are excited to contemplate seeing them in just a couple of short weeks...and my prayer remains that what my Grandma AnnaBelle said so many years ago still will ring true today: Absence makes the heart grow fonder! She, of course, was speaking of young loves that had to be separated by war, or work...but she lived it out in the lives of my sister and me, because she lived so far from us--and we knew she loved us--across the miles.

The fact that one of my dearest friends had a suicide attempt and I am six hours away. This has broken my heart. However, this event is not about me. It is, however, completely about her, and her trust in a loving, graceful, merciful God....the God of Heaven and Earth. As I heard about this event, and then fell to my face to pray for her, and the situation, I remembered all the time we'd spent together. We laughed, cried, studied and discussed scripture, God, hopes and dreams. We talked about her past and her future, we discussed child-rearing and we laughed a lot. She has taught me so much about 'pre-judging' people...and 'pre-expecting' outcomes from people. Her faithfulness is amazing. Her love for the Lord is inspiring. The move of Him in her life has been one filled with grace and provision. These past weeks, life on this earth got on top of her. I have cried more this week than I have in a very long time...(remembering that tears are good for my soul). I have been on the verge of tears most of the time, and the kids, all of them, have been super sweet to check on me (in their own way--because most of them have dealt with pain so much deeper than anything I've ever experienced)...as I contemplated life, and my friend's decision, I was directed to a passage of scripture that seemed to minister to my soul in a way that made me weep as it delivered comfort and insight to me:

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade--kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
These are words from the I Peter 1:3-9, NIV.

A Couple of Things We've Learned...

What a start! We have been here for 17 days, today. This is our second week end off since we began. The first week end we were off, the relief parent had pneumonia, was hospitalized a few days after her shift...so, today I was a little aprehensive about leaving our boys again! However, we just got home, and this relief parent was raving about how good the boys were all day! They had all their chores done, and seemed pretty mellow!

Now, the girls are home, so that should add some drama! Actually, it has been good for the girls to have this experience of brothers. When the four of us go out, the girls always ask if we can get this one thing for the boys, or take home something special for them--just because! Today, we went to their favorite candy store at the mall, and the girls brought home jaw breakers & carmel/apple suckers for each of them.

Randy has great plans for them to become disc golf enthusiasts. We have located a course near here. While we were away today, he picked up some putters & drivers to share with them. (terms that I think are hilarious to describe a disc, similar to what we called 'frisbees' when I was growing up...Of course, I know 'frisbee' is a brand name...still funny to me) I'll keep you posted as to their progress in the sport!

We have learned many things since we have been here. Probably the most important lesson that we have faced together is that when one of the boys says "I don't want to do...or go... (fill in the blank)"--there's probably a bad memory attached to the blank...so, as usual, we have tried to remain flexible...and not force our agenda with them.

This week, I have had amazing teachable moments with each of the boys. From teaching one how to sew a button on his pants, to getting grass stains out of another's jeans (He swore when they came out of the dryer that I had just gone in to town and purchased him new jeans!!!), to real life issues that concern drugs, sex, relationships and Our God--Creator of the Universe! At least they are open, and they are opening up! Good thing, because the four of us have fallen completely in love with them, collectively as a group, and individually!

One of the high lights of our day is to sit on the front porch and watch as all 6 of our high schoolers stand at the end of our drive way and talk and gesture and wait for the bus...there's our pretty twins, the geek, the nerd, the prep and the jock--and not any one boy is one of those adjectives, they are all each one at different moments of the day--they keep us laughing and crying and praying--they keep us on our toes and on our knees and on our feet all at the same time--we must stay alert to their needs, their wants and desires and thier fears and pain.

This week, the boys were blessed to get new beds and new bedding. However, they did not get mattresses. I have made a couple of contacts with people I know in Illinois & Indiana...and I am praying that we will hear this week that soon our boys will have new mattresses, too! God's hand of provision is so clear!

To me, this is the most gorgeous place on earth. Randy & I are flourishing. The girls are growing up right before our eyes. Mallory has grown about an inch and a half taller--who knew she'd do that!?!!

I covet your prayers, as you think of us, pray for us and the boys and our girls... that God would be glorified and honored in what we do here!

Remember when?

Remember when I dreamed of our 'new home'? ...it should have only two bedrooms...a living area...a good sized bath room...a place for me to study?

Well, we are still in a LOT of boxes, but that's about the size of our apartment...the rest of the house has everything we need! It's lovely...we just need to take care of it all, and make sure that the boys are taking care of it, and not destroying things!

Remember when I dreamed of our 'new location'? ...it needed to have plenty of room between us and the neighbors...not on gravel...and a gorgeous view?

We live in a rural area, that doesn't have a post office of it's own, so here we are...North Georgia...lots of hills/mountains and trees...gorgeous!!!! There are cows and a donkey right next door that we are having fun watching and a huge back yard that the boys can build a camp fire...they are loving it!--Of course, the girls are wanting four-wheelers, but I don't think that'll happen!

Remember when I dreamed of our 'new life'? That it would include lots of laughter, church that we love to attend & be involved in, and friends who truly honor and cherish each other?

Well, somethings never change. Like our friends, we still have so many sweet sweet friends who call, text, e-mail, or facebook to check on us...friends that we've had for years, just now we must be separated by such distance. However, the new friends we are making are such treasures, I could go on and on!

The "on staff "tutor for the kids stopped by last night and visited with Rand for a while. He's had a year similar to ours, in that change happened to them, through the loss of his job. They now live in 1/2 of a garage that they've converted in to an apartment for him and his wife. His spirit is so positive, and he speaks freely of his faith. He's an educated person with emphasis on special education...which happens to be exactly what the kids in our home need, and he's a person of faith...he & his wife are just trusting in God's provision for their lives! What an inspiration! And, a huge reason for me to, again, pause and praise an Amazing God!

We are taking the kids tonight to hear our founder's adoptive daughter's testimony in their church in Tennessee...that sounds far away, but we are only 20 minutes or so from TN! I'm excited to take the boys to church, this will be the first time, but I'm just as excited to hear this little girl talk!

Speaking of church, we think we've found the one we'd like to become involved in....not exactly like anything we've been to in the past....but the preaching was timely and good good good! We'll see! We'll keep praying about that!

We took everyone to a place called Fort Mountain State Park on this past Monday, it was a holiday from school. There was a beach at the top of this mountain! And, after a hike and a half, we found a huge waterfall! The hike reminded me so very much of my roots in the Shawnee Forest in Southern Illinois. And, it didn't hurt a bit that the leaves were changing colors almost before my eyes! After the hike some of them got in the water, the boys perfected their tumbling abilities...and just had fun being themselves--we laughed until our sides hurt!

The encounters I've been having have been so hysterical...today I went to a grocery/gas station/hardware store to get two things I needed...the only checker in the store went outside to mail something. Another woman was standing there looking at the newspaper...and they were having a conversation about the contestants on 'Dancing with the Stars' like they were all best friends--I think that's hysterical!--And, kinda homey in a weird kinda way!

Gotta go serve the afternoon snack now...then get dinner on the table while they do their home work...in time to leave for church!--It's a good good day!!!

Oooooops...I blinked...and now, it's October...

In the blink of an eye, that's how quickly the past three weeks have gone for me! Two weeks of training, a whirlwind trip back to Southern Illinois to gather all our belongings, and here we are! North Georgia, beginning a new life...and new adventure...a new chapter...with a new address, and new responsibilities...

We are loving this so much. At every turn, it seems that our Heavenly Father is just waiting to show us His blessing. From the first morning of our training, to the young guy that sold us our cell service...to the sweet man that helped us with our local banking...to the young men that are now in our care...God is in it ALL!

We stopped for breakfast on our way to training that very first morning...at very popular fast food restaurant...there was Christian music playing through their sound system...and I could overhear the two young men (probably 20-30-somethings) holding each other accountable to their faith! One was saying something to the affect, as an encouragement to the other, "you just need to do the things today to make you a better man than you were yesterday!" While that is timely and true, I just took that as affirmation for being in the right place at the right time! It didn't hurt that they were sharing their thoughts about the previous day's sermon, either!

The cell phone guy, spoke very generally about his faith story, and then talked a lot about how blessed he was to have the wife he has, and how his work is prospering because he tries to live for Christ each day, how amazing is that?! He's only 27. We got to meet his wife, and I would agree with him, she's definitely a keeper! It took us three hours to purchase phones and a plan! But, we got so much more than phones! --Such a blessing!

Then, the next day, it took us another three hours to open savings and checking accounts! No, we aren't ' s l o w'...we are blessed! This guy could not stop talking about life, the Lord, the Lord's work, our work, and just the blessing of God on his life... And, again, we got so much more than a bank...we got to meet a brother in the Lord!

I do not think it is any accident that these encounters happened as they did...I believe it was God showing me exactly whom we could trust in a 'new community'...there were too many things that lined up with His word! Isn't God good!? Look for the blessing!

What an Amazing way to Begin a New Job--

What an amazing God we serve! He knows us inside and out--and loves us in spite of our human-ness...ready to WOW us at every turn!

In a couple of weeks, our family will begin our new life adventure. We have accepted a position as houseparents in a group home atmosphere. We are so excited to begin...but we must be trained first. And so, we are in training for the next couple of weeks.

I am excited to report that in our training, we met the most loving people! We began the training with our director opening in prayer! and ended our day with one of the counselors singing praise songs...Now, who but God, could have designed a day like that?

Randy & I are so excited about this opportunity, not only to work with kids, but to continue to have a front row seat to watch God move and work in the lives of those around us! Each person we encountered today was so determined to give God praise & honor for the things He's done through this ministry! And, now to become a part of that is just thrilling!

If you read this, and you are a prayer warrior, which I hope you are, please lift us up and lift up this ministry. (I will not share the name of it until I have their permission, but God knows who they are and the amazing work they are doing!)

Continuing to praise Our Awesome, Mighty God--the Creator of the Universe!

In Everything! (just sayin')

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!

Let your gentle, spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts, and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7

Guard your heart. Guard your mind. Don't be anxious. In everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, make your requests to God. In another place, scripture teaches us to pray without ceasing. Pray. Just do it. The only way to get 'good at it'...is to do it!
And, keep on praying until there is peace that doesn't make any sense in your circumstance. Peace. We all want it, we all crave it...but only our God's presence can give it to us. But, we focus on our circumstance and many times cut off the possibility for peace. We get bogged down in details that we cannot control, or that do not matter.

I love the words 'do not be anxious' in the scripture above. You know what that feels like, anxious-ness or worry as we more commonly call it...somehow we think we must worry because we are parents, or because our job is difficult and high stress...or because our life isn't going as we'd planned.

The reality is that God created us to worship and rely on Him for everything. Everything. Everything we need. So, if we stay focused on being thankful in our circumstance, and focused on fact that 'this' might just be for our growing to spiritual maturity, we have a more Heavenly perspective, and a front row seat to watch God move actual mountains in front of our eyes.

I know, there are times when our lives come crashing in...and we don't see a glimmer of hope...or light. This recently happened to me. It didn't take long before I was listening as dear friends spoke scripture in to my ear, and the God of the Universe made His presence known to me. When we worship, we usher in God's presence, and so it makes sense on some level to worship in the midst of our darkest hour. I also know this, because I have lived it.

I'm 'just sayin' today...not much else. In everything. In everything, we will shout for His Glory! In everything, we will give Him all praise! Try it!

Beauty, Just think about it

Do you ever think about beauty? What do you think is lovely or beautiful? From paintings to poetry, automobiles to furniture, from fabric and clothing to make up and nail color choices. Just think about it.

In the early 80's, when my friend gave birth to her boys, she told me how happy she was that Princess Diana had also given birth to boys. That seemed to bring back attractive baby clothes for boys.

A couple of years ago, I needed something dressy to wear to an event. I remember thinking, as I shopped: 'why do the sales people all wear varying forms of black?' They wore basic black clothing, to sell me, what I hoped would be lovely clothing. Of course, what the store had to offer wasn't much better than the garments they wore, and worse: they didn't seem to care!

What had happened to lovely color and added fabric texture for interest? This year, thankfully on the clothing front, there was yet another royal wedding this year, and this is reflected in our choices this season where we find and an air of romantic lace, and colors that are pleasing to the eye...much texture and more colors...prettier ...but not yet beautiful.

We experience bland costuming in movies and characters on TV. Go and visit an art museum...look for lovely and beautiful. Or, take a walk down any toy aisle...putting some of those toys in the hands of a little person...seems like it would be a truly terrifying image for them...faces of little dolls or stuffed animals/dolls are so scary--nothing on earth looks like that, why do their toys have to? (Now, I sound like my sweet grandma and showing my age, however, I do think I am justified in my concern)


What happened to valuing human dignity, and honoring one another as humans, created in the Image of God? What happened to striving to becoming the very best version of ourselves? Or encouraging and doing everything in our power to bring out the best in those around us?

Have we become so secularized, as Christians, that we've failed to recognize the truly ugly around us? Just wondering...here in this life, if we constantly allow ourselves to be bombarded with 'ugly images' will we, in the long run, diminish our ability to appreciate and imagine things that are lovely and beautiful? (if this is possible, what a wonderful weapon our enemy holds against us)

When I imagine the "Glory of the Lord filling the temple?" OR, "Heavenly Light?" to what are my earthly eyes comparing those to...the things that I have seen? OR worse, what will my grandchildren imagine when they hopefully contemplate these images?

Remember? We are told exactly how to handle this, what to do as we face the 'ugliness of images' placed before us, in stores, on TV or other media...notice I did not say in nature...for the things we think about, the things to dwell on are these:

..."Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." Philippians 4:8

Join me in writing out a list of the things we consider to be true, or honorable, or right, or pure or lovely, things of good repute, excellent and praise worthy. What a 'good gift' to give our children...something of true beauty for them to dwell on...but also of importance, this exercise will help each of us to think and consider the images around us, and what they do to our thought life, our attitude, and the value we place on the things of God. Just think about it.

Lesson #7...knowing when I'm 'done here'...

This might be a phrase that only my three youngest children and my husband will appreciate...but "I think we're done here" was something we began saying to each other late last winter. And, it was all my fault, really.

We were considering changing cell phone service providers. The plan we were looking in to was exciting, with many bells and whistles, and was evoking many questions from Randy & the girls. But, from where I was standing, the 'benefits' didn't seem to be adding up to be better than the plan we already had in place with our current provider.

My husband and daughters were engrossed in the conversation with the sales person. But I stepped in to ask one simple question, about the part of this service that I was most interested in. It seemed that instead of all five of us having our own unique twenty 'free' numbers to call, the five of us would begin sharing ten between us. And, of course, our total bill would be higher. That seemed ludicrous to me, so I just said, "Well, I think we're done here..."

I mean, come on, why waste any more of this person's time, or our time, move on...find a different plan...I saw no reason to keep asking questions that were not going to help us, because the plan would not accommodate our needs. Of course, our girls were appalled that I would be so blunt...however, I was in sales long enough to know that if the product is not going to meet the need, we are all wasting our time...so move on, no harm, no foul...I honestly didn't think I was being rude, on the contrary, I thought I was helping the conversation come to a much needed end!

And, so, "I think we're done here" is something we all say to each other, sometimes under our breath, but it has become our own signal of boredom, or completeness or let's move on, please!

I said all that to say this: I think I'm done here naming my posts 'lesson # so and so...' At least, and until I finally have a real life in place.

I can only hope that within the next month, I can share with you what our new reality really looks like. We have been in transition for the whole summer...waiting on the Lord to open the path HE has intended for us to live and take. It has been a roller coaster ride and an amazing time of feeling God's presence and watching His provision, watching as doors close and open in His timing...and I can't help but feel that we are almost 'done here'...

The moral is: know when it's time for change. If I've 'learned' nothing else this year, this has been the 'lesson' that keeps coming back around. And, why shouldn't it?

It's scriptural, remember? For

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to live and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down, and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

A mark of wisdom, and a mark of maturing in Christ is the ability to identify and live out the difference in each of these. Just think how simple our lives would be if we practiced the difference. Join me in at least giving it a try--just for today--but for this moment, I think I'm done here!

Lesson #6...we CAN get along wtihout TV

I know, that's hard to believe, but it is true. Don't worry, there's still TVs in just about every room of this house, but they are not 'on' 24/7. We have a new reality to discover and develop and we are embracing it well.

In this new reality we have time, a lot of time, to concentrate on listening to each other, and as we practice, we seem to be getting better at it.

This evening, for example, no one was very hungry when it was time to start preparing dinner--Randy had taken a poll. The girls were taking a long walk with the dogs and I was skype-ing my mom, so we didn't cook. Of course, an hour and a half later, we all found ourselves in the kitchen, preparing, together, a smorgasbord of crazy things...then we took our concoctions out on the deck to enjoy the rest of the cool evening before the sun went down.

We were talking about all kinds of things, and even Mal made the comment that it was really fun, how much we're all talking more, and not watching TV as much as we used to--I loved this comment, and it really hit me between the eyes.

And so, there's the lesson and the goal: not as much...in small doses...that's good enough...for watching TV. Conversation, truly listening to each other instead, is so much healthier, and way more fun. Earlier in the evening, we listened as Madison's told a story about something that she'd seen at school and we laughed until we were wheezing--hilarious--she can't make this stuff up, which makes it even more hilarious.

And so, here I am: lovin' life, livin' the dream, with a LOT less TV, and still waitin' on the Lord...

...and by the way: Thanks for Listening!

Lesson #5...about contentment...

This is a lesson I need re-taught over and over. I am content in most areas of my life. However, as I become content, the Lord reveals areas in my life that need work. If you have this thing of contentment mastered, you will not want to spend much time here today.

If you are like me--still learning and pushing through to contentment in the Lord--take a listen, make a comment and my prayer will remain that you would be blessed!

When we moved to east metro Atlanta (there is probably a more correct term for this area, I do not know it as yet) this spring, a couple of things became clear early on.

The first was that our circumstance, living arrangements and possibly location, were only temporary. Profound, as we have had many opportunities to know this for certain.

The second was that I had to focus on finding the blessing in each seemingly 'small' thing. This has been necessary in order to model our dependence on a faithful, loving, kind, merciful God to our children, all of them, because they are ever-watching. When I display doubt or fear, I single-handedly negate anything I've tried to teach about God's provision.

I beleive that if we do not strive to be content in the Lord's provision, He may not be inclined to bless our efforts with more, if we are not thankful for what He has given us.

From our home of twenty years, everything that had become familiar to us during our thirty years of marriage, we moved to a lovely house. There is a creek in the back (complete with a bench to sit and enjoy the view and the sound) and a hilly street/sub-division to walk each morning for our enjoyment and health. We have been comfortably cool this summer, even with high temperatures outside. I had a lovely desk, computer and book shleves to accomodate a summer of study and paper writing. After prayerful consideration, we found a church that we truly love. And, last but certainly not least, the girls love the school here. These are abundant blessings.

Hope. That's it. Hope in the resurrection of Christ...nothing can take that away. Nothing.

I Peter 1:3 says, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope though the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead."

We were blessed this past week end to spend time with dear friends and I've written about this annual gathering before, as to how much we love one another, and look forward to Labor Day each year. This year marked the ninth year we've gotten together, as not only friends, but family by choice...our love for Christ and His Body are what bind us together.

Contentment. Do I need more friends? Of course. However, it takes years to cultivate and celebrate the deep bonds we have with this group. Truly thankful for each one, that's the Bishops!

Two of these friends are on staff at the church we attended on Sunday morning, Kendall is the senior minister and the pastoral care minister is Kris. Another of the group, Trudy, is a creative arts/worship leader, at a different church four hours north. These times we spend together inlcude praise, worship, church services, eating and laughing...and laughing and eating and praying.

Kendall preached Sunday morning, about contentment. His Biblical text was Philippians 4:10-20...(you know the verses, and if you don't, turn to them, for they are spot on. I find it fascinating that Paul wrote these words from inside prison...where he had been for three years...yet his letter is full of words like joy, rejoice, praise, hope)...the verses say:

"I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opporunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

Kendall's points were to 1. rejoice in the Lord's provision, no matter how small the blessing; 2. to depend on the Lord for strength; and 3. to Trust in His promises to meet your needs. See what I mean? Exactly what we need when we need it, this is Our God!

Needs, not wants. For me, I need my children to be safe, and to enjoy their school experience. I need my husband to be constantly trusting the Lord for provision. I needed a place to study and learn all summer. We needed this time with our friends...all of them, from the oldest to the youngest!

One of the youngest children among these friends/family is a little boy named Joel. I call him a little boy, becasue I've known him since he was born, but he is growing up so fast. He is precious. Joel and our Macy were close in age. Because I got to see him, he helped me to be reminded of things she might have been doing at this point in her life. Of course, I do not dwell on her and the fact that she is not here, but sometimes it is sweet to be reminded of what true loss looks like and I am thankful for the conversation I got to have with Joel.

We were also very blessed to have been able to take our grandchildren with us for this gathering. Truly a blessing, as they are precious, and seemed to love being with us. Their laughter and little voices were music to my ears.

Randy and I have renewed hope, renewed goals, and a firm foundation in Christ, our King.

And so, while we are living in a temporary situation, we are content to seek God each day. I will continue to look for God's provision each day, esecially in the small things....depend on the Lord for my strength to face each day...strength to resist the temptation to doubt, or to put my trust in material possessions...to know and trust that God has this...

...He knew this day before I was born, and not only does He see me, He saw this day as it was formed, my circumstance is not a surprise to Him. He is more interested in my obedience to Him and His Word than 'fixing my circumstance to please me'. I am certain that blessings abound, I need to be very sensitive to them!

Lesson #4...always learning

This has been a year for traveling for me and my family. We have always been travelers, so packing is sort of a passtime for me. Traveling by air, though, presents a few traveling challenges, or at the very least, procedures you need to be aware of before you arrive at the airport!

For various reasons, I have spent more time this year in air ports than in any other year of my life! I have had to learn about check in procedures, security procedures and air plane etiquette. Not to mention, flight delays and food choices! To travel by air there are things you must do, and procedures you must follow. These have to do with getting through the security check point, so it is important when planning your wardrobe and packing your travel.

For example, do not expect to wear a jacket through security, take it off before they have to threaten you with a 'pat down' search! (that was the choice I was given on my first morning out!!!--trust me, take off the jacket, voluntarily!)

You can do a 'self check-in' by swiping a credit card...for I.D. purposes only....to get your very important boarding pass. This piece of paper will get you through security, with your photo I.D. and it will get you on to the plane, without your photo I.D.

Before approaching the security gate, take a moment and get ready, I get this all ready as I pack for the flight:

Electronics: My computer, camera, G.P.S., and cell phone I locate these in my personal carry on , wither my purse, or in my computer tote.

Liquid: While you need to stay hydrated when you travel, do not think you're going to carry a bottle of water through security! (I drink one on the way to the airport, and trow it away on my way in) Just purchase another one when you get on the other side, or pack, if you have room, an empty re-usable one. Also, your personal hygiene items. If you are checking a bag, you can pack them in there, I always use zip-lock bags for this in either bag, because I hate messes on my clothing during travel, and if your shampoo, or worse, nail polish removed spills you have a huge mess! SO, use small containers...(and instead of packing nail polish remover in liquid form, for travel, purchase the disposable remover pads--I also buy face-wash pads instead of packing my liquid face wash for trips!)

So, you have the small containers...You are allowed not more than 2oz. in each little bottle, so be judicious in your carry on items. If you are carrying on, put all liquid items, shampoo, contact solution, liquid makeup, what ever is liquid in ONE quart size zip-lock bag.

Put this bag with your electronic devices in your carry personal carry on.

Step up to the security check point. Hand the first person your photo I.D. and your boarding pass.

Next point, you are ready for the scanning machines (I'm certain there is another name for this part of the procedure, but I'm a novice!) As you approach, grab a couple of plastic bins. In one, put all your electronics that will fit, and if there's room your bag of liquids.

In the other, put your shoes, (and shoes, wear comfortable ones, never know how MUCH walking you're going to have to do--trust me, flights change all the time!). Your carry on can go through with your bag, just place them both on the rollers. Now, WAIT for the security guard to tell you when to go through the scanning part. Be respectful, and do not talk too much to them, they have a really important job to do...so you need to take it very seriously...

On the other side, your personal belongings will come through the x-ray type machine, you collect them and, unless they stop you for a random search, or take your bag for a deeper scan. Put your photo ID up, and put your boarding pass in a safe place. (I usually put it in the book I'm planning to read on the plane--just me!)

NOW: MOVE on through to the benches or chairs. This area, beyond security is provided for you to re-assemble your stuff do not hurry, do not be anxious...sit down, put your shoes back on. But the point is: MOVE out of the way, you are not the only person there--be conscious of the people around you and either move with or get out of the flow of traffic!

WOW...I wrote all that, because I have seen the most organized travelers, and the most disorganized travelers, and it always amazes me on both ends of the spectrum! I love watching people..hilarious. I suppose the moral of this story is pack wisely, think about each choice you are making for the items going in your bag...and strike up conversations with fellow travelers! You meet interesting people, and get interesting perspectives!-Not to mention, great stories to tell!!!

The lesson I have learned this year is to be always learning. A better way to pack a suitcase. A better way to read a book. A better way to write a research paper, a better way to study my Bible, OR a better way to pack liquids.

A better way to speak to my children, a better way to motivate those around me --or myself!

A new and exciting route to a place...or learning about a far away place. It is a wonder to me because the more I learn, the more I realize how little I truly know!

Learn about making friends, learn about truly being honest with yourself, and those you love. Learn how to color your own hair, or make bread.

Here's a verse I read this morning:

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. 2 Peter 1:3-9

Always learning. These verses speak of godliness, and knowledge, and perseverance...brotherly kindness and love....self-control...faith...this qualities, building from the foundation of faith, will keep us from being unproductive and ineffective.

How effective is your faith? How effective is the knowledge you possess of our Lord?

We desire our lives, as Christians to be effective for the kingdom--don't we? We should. Be alert. Be learning...always!

Lesson #3...being thankful

I have learned to be thankful for what I have and what I do not have.

That may sound strange because in our culture it is about getting/keeping more and more, faster and faster. Whether we are talking about shoes and purses, or appointments and meetings. We like to talk about how important we are by relating how busy we are on our calendar, and look good doing it. Do not miss understand, I do think we should strive to look our best, but I must continuously guard myself not to get carried away in to obsession with stuff. And, because there is an actual show on T.V. entitled 'Hoarders: Buried Alive'...I do not think it is wrong for me to assume that many in our culture struggle with accumulating too much.--just sayin'

When we were packing to move from our home of twenty years, we were facing a time crunch and limited places to 'put things' in the vehicles. We were not going back to the storage building, so it had to either fit or be left behind.

We had to prioritize during those last moments. Those moments were full of phrases like "yes" or "set aside, we'll see if we have room." I felt like such a pioneer--only it wasn't a covered wagon--it was an SUV and a convertible we were loading!

One funny story happened near the end of the packing. There were things like jigsaw puzzles. Lots of them. I sent Madison to ask Holly what to do with them, she came back and said, "Holly said give them to Jerry Patrick."

Who in the heck is Jerry Patrick? I've never heard of Jerry Patrick. Don't know who this person is...

What Holly had said was: "Tell mom to give them to the geriatrics."

I am thankful I do not have puzzles any more to keep track of, I am thankful for my kids who make me laugh and smile!

All my purses and bags got left behind at the last minute. My dear husband had told me that there was no more room, and so I sent them away with my son-in-law, quickly so I didn't have to think about it. Like ripping off a band-aid.

While I am thankful I do not have to store a lot of extras at this point. I am thankful for what I do have. Less to worry with, less to keep track of, and what I have, I use--I couldn't really say that before the move!

I am thankful for the very simple life we have right now. I am thankful we do not have a hectic crazy schedule to keep.

I am thankful for this time in our lives...to slow down and plan a little, or sing, draw, write, read or listen. For some, this would seem a dessert experience. For me, there are moments that seem like dessert, and there are moments that are mountain top experiences. However, at all times I feel that God is near.

I have never been away from my husband for two weeks straight. I am thankful for a husband that I love to be around. However, this summer, I spent two straight weeks at Tozer for intensive classes. While it was difficult to be away from my family, the two weeks the time spent there included learning to navigate dorm life again while forming new friendships. The times spent in worship during chapel, and the times spent in prayer with classmates are moments I will always cherish.

Upon the return home, we began The church we've been attending this summer has become one of those mountain tops for me. It is truly amazing to be a part of the worship each week, and listen as the truth of scripture is proclaimed. They are a church on the move, and the Word presented and the worship are served up fresh each week. Only to please our King. The King of Kings, Lord of Lords, the Creator of the Universe.

And so, at this very personal growing time in my life, I am thankful to attend an amazing church, and I am thankful that I do not have a key role there. I do not intend for that circumstance to be permanent in my life, as I love to serve the Body of Christ. This is the first time in my adult life that I have ever been in this position and I can see things that I need to learn right now--for my good--that will better prepare me for future service--where ever that might be! In it all, though, I want to remain thankful. Thankful for what is and is not in my life!

Lesson #2 for this year...

Becoming healthy spiritually, mentally, socially, emotionally and physically is important to me, as it should be to all of us. Remembering that we are image bearers of our Creator should be enough motivation for health in all areas of our lives. Health doesn't just happen, we must work at it. Remembering that when we bring health to one area of our lives, it positively affects the rest.

By the world's standards, many things have happened to our family this past year (actually within the past 7 months) that would put us in a position of having no hope, seeing no way for good. However, this is a perspective thing; it is a 'let's apply scripture to this' and see what happens thing. The happenings alone have set us up for a wild ride! The world just needs to know, though, who we are trusting through all of these events.

During this ride (because I think it is far from finished) I want to share with you the things that have struck me--seemingly secret things. These things, these secrets keep us going, and give us the ability to sleep at night when our world has been collapsing all around us.

For, if you know me, and my story, my world is in constant state of collapse...in order to always be finding, establishing and living with a 'new normal.'

From this side of things, normal is a relative term! However, I am speaking of the things, the perhaps mundane things that we do every single day and take for granted...from driving to the bank, to picking up our children at school. From shopping for groceries, to putting gasoline into our vehicle(s).

One of the last assignments I had for school was to write a Bible study, consisting of four sessions. This study was to be the result of a word study for the word grace. This is one of the things I love about God--the way He orchestrates the things in our lives to include truths about Him exactly when we need them the most! (of course, you need to be looking for this to happen to realize it)

(Side note: I read a book a few years ago called Grace Matters. Probably one of my most favorite books, as Chris Rice speaks about living in community, literally in the same household, with another family. The Rice family was/is white...the family they lived with, the Perkins family, was/is black. And, if it were not for grace, the grace they extended to one another, and the grace extended to them by a loving God...the end result would have been disaster, not a deeper love, respect and understanding between the families.)

Listen to the Hebrew writer, in chptr 12, verses 14-15 "Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many."

Wow! What a message--I could write on and on about those two verses. For the purpose of this post, however, my point is to remind us that we have a responsibility.

The words "make every effort"...those are a challenge, aren't they? In our culture, that is SO counter-culture. When most would just hide under the rug, or skirt around issues, we are to be openly concerned about living at peace, and being holy. ...and, as much as it depends on us, be concerned about our fellow human beings--that No One misses the grace of God!

We don't like to be concerned do we? We like things the way we like them, in our own little world...I don't know how many times I've heard, I don't like change. Please. It's the only constant in our human experience. Grow up and get used to it. However, you can fight this selfish impulse by remembering: (from Lesson #1) "the power of life and death is in our tongues"...so be careful!

Only give 'full vent' to God. He is always there to listen. ALWAYS! Be guarded about what you say about someone else when you are speaking to other people. But to God, you can tell Him just how you feel, and He cares, remember? And, remember? He sees us, El Roi, the God who saw Hagar. (Genesis 16) He knows exactly what has happened to us, and nothing is a surprise to Him, according to Psalm 139. He expects us to be obedient, even obedient in our times of great trial. Well, and of course, James 1:2 says "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds."

I think this is so that we can see the glory of God in our times of trial.

We are to pray for our enemies. That's right. If you know me, and have ever discussed this with me, you know it is true...scripture teaches us this. Putting it in to practice is a challenge, but Christ is right there to help us through that, as well.

Last winter, during a short Bible study, a verse was shared and it spoke directly to this issue: Job 42:10 "After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before." And, remembering the story of Hagar, she and her son, Ishmael, were blessed, as well.

So, here's the lesson: If you want God's blessing, understand that it comes through obedience, only 'vent fully' to Him. Then, pray for those that have wronged you. Job's friends were anything but supportive of him in his "new normal" his diseased, pitiful state...but as soon as he prayed for them, God blessed Job's faithfulness.

I am not suggesting that we live like this in order to receive some material possession, we have enough. I am suggesting that we live like this, praying for enemies, only venting to God, as a means of true health...socially, emotionally, physically, mentally and especially spiritually. If we allow bitterness to take root, no matter the circumstance that brought the bitterness, then it will affect our entire person.

That bitter root also causes trouble and defiles many. Thank how much healthier the Body of Christ would be if these lessons were learned by all that identify themselves as Christians. What battles would be won, souls reached, lives restored--the possibilities are endless. Health. Over-all health. Begins and ends with prayer...and in the in between times--trusting in God's provision.

Lesson #1 for this year...

I said yesterday that I have learned many things this year while on this journey. Today I wanted to post one of those lessons...

First a disclaimer: many of the lessons, I am still learning, so be patient with me, (and with yourself, if you decide to join me) if you're keeping track!

Lesson #1: Every choice I make will either bring life or death. The words I speak are powerful, because Proverbs 18:21 "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit."

Each word we speak, either brings life or death to the situation or person we are addressing. This is a hard lesson to learn for those of us who like to talk a lot!

I also learned that each time I eat things that do not bring health to my body, or go without the rest my body needs, or worry about an insane situation to the point that I cannot sleep or eat, I am commiting what is known as an act of self-violence. In my mind, this self-violence also includes some of the things we put in to our mind, our intellect each day. We do this through the things we read, hear or look at on the TV or internet--the ability to think and reason is a gift from God...we need to be alert and informed to be able to to that to the best of our ability.

I had never considered this before as I would spend most of my time studying or researching or what ever...not taking time to think about what I was actually eating...or how inactive my body was becoming.

Maybe it is because I just celebrated a milestone birthday, but I think that it may be true what they say 'that life begins at 50'! Of course, from where I'm sitting/standing/walking/stretching, it's a little louder. The breathing, or creaking of the bones or the voice...

I remember when I turned 45, I thought then, "I've lived my whole life to be this age!" I loved that year...for what ever reason. But, like my grandma AnnaBelle always said (and she'll turn 89 this November, Lord willing), "Honey, You are only going to be (50) for ONE year...enjoy this age!" I love that about her, so practical...don't get too excited about an age in the future that you're going to become, or an age when you were at your best 'way back when'...enjoy this one...this is the only time you'll be here!

And so, the moral of this story is: what ever age you are: do not commit self-violence, instead do everything, as far as it depends on you to take good care of yourself. AND, while you're doing that: be aware of the way you speak...bringing life or death? Simple. Really.

Here is a list of a few of the books I have read this year that have given me insight and have helped me sort this out:
My Bible
Courage in the Call by Gordon T. Smith
Margin by Richard A. Swenson, M.D.
Rest in the Storm by Kirk Byron Jones
Clergy Self-Care by Roy M. Oswald

The Day I Could Not Find the Cross...

My family and I began this year with a new adventure because I became a seminary student. Soon after I began my course work, I realized that I am part of a trend. In fact, many people--women especially--according to an article in TIME magazine, are enrolling in seminary! Pursuing something they have always had a passion for but never afforded themselves the time to pursue.

My school is A.W.Tozer Theological Seminary, on the campus of Simpson University, Redding, California. For my first intensive week of class, I arrived in the dark of night in February. Cold and tired, ready to rest from an extremly long day of traveling. I had never been to northern California, so I was looking forward to experiencing the beauty I'd always heard about!

After campus security met my cab and showed me to my dorm room, I quickly asked as many questions as I could think of that would be important for me to know before class the next morning...in my tired state, only two came to mind: which way to the dining hall? And, how do I lock these doors?

The next morning, overcast, grey skies met me with drizzly rain. With my black umbrella pulled close to my head, I walked to the dining hall to eat a quick breakfast. The Tozer students can sleep in the dorms, eat in the dining room, and use the library on campus. However, because Simpson undergrad students are there, class room space during the day is limited. The Tozer students are in class rooms throughout the city of Redding and must arrange their own transportation to and from classes for intensive weeks. (Now that I have been there, I have frineds there, because the Tozer students are amazing!!!, so rides are not that difficult to find!)

One of the local students had graciously offered to help me with a ride to class each day. This young woman had said she would meet me at the cross on campus. OK. I thought, no big deal. But, in the black of night, from the back seat of a cab, I saw no cross. From under my black umbrella, in the drizzly rain, the next morning: NO Cross. Where is it? I couldn't locate it. So, I call her, and ask if she could just pick me up outside the dining room, because I had not yet located the cross she had mentioned.

At the exact time we'd agreed on, I have my umbrella pulled close to my head, she pulls up to the curb and after a quick greeting I climb into her car and strap on my seat belt. We pull away from teh curb and drive the distance of what in my town would be a 1/2 block up the street. Yes, you know where this is going. There, to my astonishment, is this HUGE white cross...the centerpiece of the entire campus. You cannot, by the way, see it from under a black umbrella, or apparently from the back seat of a cab in the black of night.

I thought when I had told this sweet girl that I couldn't find the cross that her reaction was strange. At that point, though, I didn't think too much of her reaction. However, I'm sure she's probably thinking at this point, where in the world did THIS woman come from? Hilarious, that's what it is.

For the next 2-1/2 days rain, drizzly rain. On Wednesday afternoon, there was a break in the rain, to reveal the magnificent views from the campus. It is truly breath taking! There is a view of Mt. Shasta that can only be seen on clear days...and for the most part, the days there are clear...except this week I was there! Wednesday afternoon, even that view was clear! Gorgeous!

On that Thursday, is snowed! For one fellow student from the Philippines, this was his first experience with snow. I saw him on the patio during our lunch break skype-ing with his parents, so they could enjoy the snow experience together. How fun is that?

By Friday, more drizzly rain, and over cast and limited visibility of the beauty surrounding the campus!

This is how our life goes sometimes, isn't it? The cross has been the center piece of the campus for a long time...always right there...whether I could 'see' it or not! Mt. Shasta has been standing in the same place for longer than I've been alive...and just because I couldn't 'see' it for most of my visit to the campus, didn't mean it wasn't there...I just didn't realize it was there, or that I could see it and enjoy it's beauty!

This is how we view God...if I can't 'see' His work, or His way, or His provision it does not mean He isn't right there...He doesn't move. He's the same, yesterday, today and forever...providing for me...loving me...caring for me...and by His grace forgiving me over and over again!

I have learned many things by attending the four classes I have now completed at A.W. Tozer Theological Seminary. (the more I learn, the more I realize there is to learn--perhaps that's why Paul tells us to have a 'teachable spirit!') I have many more classes to complete before I receive that masters degree! However, some of the most important lessons I have learned have been just my day to day dependence on a holy, just, loving God! God is God! Praise Him for He is worthy!

I'm baaaaaaa-aaaack!!!

Good morning! So many things have happened since I last posted--because almost every detail of my life has changed since then (February 2, 2011--date of last post), I thought a 'fresh look' might be exciting and fun. I struggled and thought yesterday about my focus...should this blog only have one theme/focus...or should I discuss the various family happenings...or should I discuss ministry...what in the world? For now, let's just stick with my perspective on random things that come up in my day(s)!

Did you know? Borders is going out of business. This saddens me, for it has always been a place I love to 'get lost in' (especially the one on Michigan Ave in Chicago--multiple floors of BOOKS). And, because we are currently far away from Chicago, we are frequenting the one that is about fifteen minutes from our home. I haven't met too many people here, yet. Mostly because the whole time we've lived here I have been either studying, traveling or writing (and re-writing!)

I find myself in random conversations with people, while we wait in line, or wait on a table at a restaurant, or in Borders! So while visiting our Borders yesterday, a lady asked me to help her find a book in the section we were browsing! Her daughter needed it for class. At first we were very guarded about our backgrounds, but then, when we talked about our daughters--we both just kept talking! She has four daughters, much closer in age to each other than ours are--but it was good to relate. We talked about many things...how religion is not as important as relationship with God...how being a parent is not for wimps...having so many children put us on the same page.

When she grew up, her religious practices kept her from being accepted in "the South", and now, it is hard for her to be accepted because she has four children. And, by accepted, I am talking about by other women. That's right, just admit it, as women, we look at each other and sum it up, don't we? This was the nicest lady, but most women at her daughter's school won't even talk to her. (I tried to explain this to my husband who was dumbfounded by the non-acceptance thing) But, if you are a woman, especially a woman with kids, you know what I am talking about.

In my experience, as a mom of five kids, women with fewer children (two or less) either admire you and want to know how you do it 'all'...or they have no time for you because they either think you're crazy OR they do not see the point of having more than two (or one, or none!)--most people don't want to 'do crazy,' so they just smile politely and ignore you! I turned 50 this year, and celebrated my 30th anniversary...by the world's standards, I am certifiable! But, I do have a brain, and a voice, and sometimes, I use both! I also love LOVE Love being a mom, and by this point in my life, I love being a grandma...'G-Mar'...the bigger the family the better!--because we are to model, in our families, what the church is supposed to be...

...It is so sad that we do not just press in to one another to find gifts and talents that we can't see on the surface! And, by the way, we never did find the book the lady was looking for...but it suddenly didn't matter, because we had a very real conversations and she was able to vent for awhile--priceless!

I"m baaaaaaaa-aack!

Good morning!

Of course, by the time I get this posted, it'll be afternoon! Either way...here

go! I had the most gorgeous, charming post ready for you to read...and I hit publish, and nothing happened....so I explored again how to publish, and thought I was pushing the right button, and my gorgeous, charming post disappeared! I supposed that was not what I was supposed to say to you!

It has been a long time since I wrote on here. Almost every detail of our lives have changed since I last wrote. Including, but not limited to our location on the planet.

I began seminary this past January. I could write here about that experience, and fill many day's worth of posts! OR, I could write about what it's like to sell our home within two weeks of listing it. OR I could write about what it's like to dis-assemble our home of twenty years, sell a lot of our stuff, and move eight hours away from our precious older girls, and family--friends we've known for our entire married life, a ministry I loved, and a church that we all loved...what is that like? OR, I could write about moving to a new community where I know no one that isn't either kin to me, or kin to someone I'm kin to. OR I could write about being in transition, for all of it: new careers, new friends, new church, new everything! Who knows? You'll just have to tune in and see!

I know these things: God is God! God is Faithful and He is Mighty to Save! I know He is my strength in times of weakness, my refuge in uncertain times, and my God, the object of my worship. I love to serve Him, and talk about Him and His Word. I love His people, and the people that don't know Him yet, but desperately need the message of love and mercy and grace that the gospel offers. I am excited to see how God writes the next chapters of our life. So, stay tuned...it's better than reality TV, and better for your soul! Bless you for reading...and commenting!

Comedy of Study

Ice. Snow. No School. That's the day ahead. What a gift it is for me. What a hardship it is for others. For some, it probably means overtime. For many, a chance to sit in by the fire and sip a warm drink.

That would be me: sit in, by the fire, or at my kitchen table, or at my basement table and study. This has become my new normal. Study. Read, write and study some more. Write and study and re-write some more.

I recently embarked a journey that will affect the rest of my life. Seminary. A.W Tozer Theological Seminary. I am a new student. Very new--new to the world of turning in papers and assignments on-line, and making plane and cab reservations as part of my educational experience!

The first week, as I discovered the actual process of things, I had to change my flights...that was an expensive ordeal. However, it could not be avoided, unless I wanted to catch a train in the middle of the night, ride two hours, then catch a bus for the next hour, and hope to make my out-going flight on time.--I was only a little stressed trying to work all that out.

God, in his wisdom, gave me a husband that plans trips in his sleep, so he was a huge blessing, and helped keep me calm and focused during that whole process!

Lesson learned: do not make travel arrangements too far in advance, I may NOT have all details.

I get to use something called a moodle. (Holly is emphatic that this is NOT real) This is a web-site that I get assignments, submit homework, post to something called forums, and I think I even get my grades there.

So, the first week: the first assignment is to take some surveys and assessments, then write 1000 words, and post on a forum. There will be several forum discussions throughout the semester, I am supposed to jump in and post when ever, with something intelligent to say.

So, I go try to get on the first forum. nothing. I go to a different place and try. nothing. Thank God that one of the students was very persistent, she couldn't get 'on' either! It was an I/T problem at the school...which is fine, but when we were expressing concern, they couldn't tell it from their end. This persistent student, took a picture of her screen, sent it to them, and they were able to fix the problem! Oh, technology, how wonderful and horrible you are!

And,so, after a week delay, the whole class was able to receive the forum prompt and have a discussion. Plus, we also received an extension on the first assignment due date. Not certain I added anything intelligent, but I did post...to make certain that I could.

I did get somewhat stressed when I was not able to get to the right discussion...it was good to know that I was doing it right, the problem was on the other end. And I'm so thankful for Ms. Persistent.

This week, I had my first 1000 words ready, and wanted to be able to send it. The paper was written with front matter (title page and table of contents) and body. Ok, no problem. I read the over 300 page book, to know how to site sources and present the paper in acceptable form.

The problem about this paper: I kept re-writing it, for one thing...which is not a big deal...that's what writers do. The problem was numbering the pages, in Microsoft word. OH yeah, can't be done, unless you know the 'secret'...(or, perhaps took the time to actually read the 900 page book about how to use their programs--I'm just kidding, I don't even know if a book exists) this program is not user friendly for old women like me.

I had my computer savvy friend, my daughter with the comm. degree (who has written a zillion research papers in recent years) and our church's administrator ALL take look. No one knew the secret, apparently. My desire for the paper was NO page number on title page. ii on the Table of Contents. Begin body with page 1. Easy on a typewriter. OR, if I was turning in hard copy, I could just make two documents...NOT, this paper is ONE document, uploaded to moodle. (love that--)

So, remember the Ms. persistent student I mentioned--the one that helped fix the forum problem? Well, she is, of course in this class with me, pursuing this master's program while pursuing another masters at the same time. She finished her two undergrad degrees last spring. And, did I mention that she's one year younger than me, climbs mountains, on foot and on her bike...and loves to sit in her back yard with her chickens..I do not know. But, I think I really like her--funny and smart.

I was stressing about those page numbers, and thought, well, she said she'd help me along, maybe she knows how to number pages. (I mean, logic tells me, if she did two degrees at once, and she's pursuing two master's at once, she probably knows how to number pages)...and, of course, she did.

Graciously she sent me to a blog--something about turtlemeat....and there it was: the secret. The secret, I will share with you, (the website is detailed so if you really need this info, go there) is to divide the paper in to sections...numbering each section.

Who knew? Well, Ms. Persistent did. And, probably the writer of the program, to that person, this is very logical. To me, very complicated! Oh, horrible, wonderful technology.

And, so, yes, I am a student. Loving it. And, the things I've share above have been my biggest challenges so far!

Here's something pretty cool...one of those 'inside jokes' between me and God. I teach Sunday school and a Bible study at the assisted living facility. I had the inspired idea to keep those two lessons to the same general place in scripture. That way, I'm preparing once, but the lessons can take different 'slants'. This past week end, I got the scripture reading and research done and was ready. I am taking a theology course, and started reading for it. To my delight, the theologian spoke directly to the material I had just prepared. How cool is that? I LOVE that about God--giving me just what I need, when I need it.

And, so, the ice and the weather are hardships for many, but for me: there's food in the house, it's warm in here, and I need to study. I consider the ice and the weather a gift from a loving Father. The fact that I have a gorgeous view of gently falling snow outside, and bright red geraniums blooming inside is another gift.

And, today I know, as always: God is Good!

God is good! This is the theme of one of the classes I'm taking. It is the first line in a favorite childhood prayer I used to say at bedtime. These three words are quickly becoming where my mind goes, as I get older and find more and more things that are wearing out on this body of mine.

God is good! This is a basic truth. If we would stay mindful of these words, of this truth, our lives would be transformed.

We had a children's minister at our church that thankfully had been a cheerleader in her younger years. She would literally lead the congregation in a sort of sing song cheer. She would say: God is Good! Our response was: All the Time! And she would repeat: God is Good!

Yes, God is good, all the time, and all the time, God is good. This makes my day. Especially on days when bad news just doesn't stop coming, or there's not quite enough in the bank to cover the bills, or there just isn't enough to go around...OR, when the kids are home from school sick, and there's a gazillion things to catch up on....you see, these are all short term. Good news does come, kids get well, finances can change with the wind...and well...the to do list will get shorter...stop adding to it!

God is good. His word says it, and He's proven Himself faithful over and over.

I am now officially a seminary student. My first 'assignment', due the first official day of class is complete. My next assignment due 2 weeks: 1000 words. If you know me, you know that I can speak 1000 words in about 5 minutes, so you say, this should NOT be a problem. However, keep in mind, writing is hard work. There is a lot to consider, rhythm, use of certain words and the direction things should go--many choices to make. And so, while 1000 words sounds like a little thing, (and, according to what I wrote in the previous paragraph it really is a little thing) it will take some time to put all my thoughts together and edit them down, so that they won't be difficult to follow! (and, if you know me, you know that sometimes talking with me is like following a bouncing ball--according to a dear friend!)

As a new student, I have much reading to do. MUCH. The topics I am reading about are God, and the calling He has on my life. Since these are both important to me, I will step up and read and write what ever I'm assigned. I'm eager to learn! This experience has taught me a lot already about waiting on God. And, as this week has proven, He can work anything out (like travel/accommodations details, and, did I mention that my computer was continually 'blue screening') God is good. He has brought me this far, these details and this day are no surprise to Him...and if He cares about the number of hairs on my head, then I think He's got the whole travel/computer things that concern me taken care of, as well. Truly blessed: that's me!

Double blessing...

On this date fifteen years ago, we were anticipating the New Year, not having a clue how much our lives were getting ready for a huge change over the next few days. Our home was completely decorated, down to the kitchen rugs, for Christmas. Each room had it's own themed Christmas tree, 8 in all. It wasn't time to face taking everything 'down' yet...so we were enjoying the holiday season, and completely enjoying the atmosphere for a few more days.

Back then, the days immediately following Christmas were for nesting, de-cluttering, setting goals for the year, reviewing our household budget and getting tax information in order before officially heading back to work and school after the holidays.

Our girls, now 11 and 9,could do things for themselves--they were definitely out of the constant care phase of their lives. Which is why the events of the next few days would be especially fun, an shocking at the same time.

By the 8th of January that year, 1996, I had a few decorations put away, but there had been a lot of snow, the girls had been home, and I was just hanging out with them.
The 8th day of January, 1996 changed our lives forever! The girls and I were organizing things in our family room in our basement, when the phone rang. We had gone through pre-adoption classes a year before. We had planned to adopt a three year old potty-trained child, who ever this child was, we didn't know! But, we knew that God did, and He was planning and orchestrating exactly the child that would become ours!

So, imagine my surprise when I answered the phone to hear the news that available to our family were newborn twin baby girls. They had been born two days previous, and I would be able to pick them up at the hospital on the 1oth. I was amazed.

First of all, newborns are rare for adoption. Second of all, they were girls, a perfect fit for the older girls who were quickly outgrowing the doll baby stage. My husband and I prayed and were completely at peace with saying absolutely YES!!! We would be happy to step through this door of opportunity.

And so, that year, the 9th of January was spent packing up 8 Christmas trees and tons of decorations. The 10th was spent driving to get these two precious baby girls, that have grown in to beautiful young girls! We were so blessed back then, and feel doubly blessed today!

Only in God's economy can I explain how we could have been praying for a 3-year old potty trained child that would be a right fit for our family, and received TWO beautiful, perfectly healthy, baby girls instead. It doesn't mean we had to have specifically the three year old...it does mean that "If you delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart."--Psalm 37 tells us.

Yes, Lord, the desire of our hearts was for You to be honored and glorified in our lives...our prayer continues to be for your blessing on our family, but make us a blessing to others.