One more year. Yes, one more year I have made it through Mother's Day. That is a strange thing to say, you might be thinking, but trust me when I say--there have been some years that I did not think I could make it--the pain was too fresh. Have you ever been there? I am here to tell you that there is hope for new and brighter days--it's sort of like being in a place that is darkest just before the dawn...the pain will lessen--but cherish the memories, please.
For me, this past Mother's Day was delightful. We were able to see our family for the noon meal...and laugh and eat and talk together. (--sort of, the venue was pretty crowed and the tables that we got to sit in were round instead of rectangle--so we were sort of spread out, but it worked out just fine).
One of my favorite things on Mother's Day is the cards, for they are always sweet...the girls do a pretty good job of writing what they are feeling at the moment--which always makes me tear up...and then we take pictures...of me with our girls, then the whole family together.
For many years, in the 1980's and then through the beginning of the 1990's we would share the noon meal with my Grandma Sisk. That gathering would usually include all the 'Sisk' cousins--of which none of them ever carried the last name of Sisk--and there were always babies to cuddle, and Grandma to make laugh. Making Virginia laugh was never a difficult task--for she dearly loved life and loved to laugh. She was really good at it, too!
Then, as our family transitioned from a small family to a LARGE family, we opted not to travel so much on this day, rather staying close to home. Within eight years, the holiday became a bitter reminder for me of what was not to be. When we sent Macy to Heaven, the day instantly became a symbol of frustration for what my life would never be again. In some sort of twisted way, I felt like I had failed at mothering--because we were walking around with this hole in our family, for the one that was no longer here with us.
Please do not mis-understand. I love our family so much...and every moment we are together I cherish...so the line between selfishness and nostalgia sometimes can gets murky. For several years after our loss, I did not want to do anything to celebrate that day, truly I wanted to just skip it, for I simply did not feel very festive--and I did not feel worthy of any kind of 'honor' that the day is designed to offer. I did try, though, on some level to join in but the day would begin and end with tears.
This lasted for several years--and then one year, I decided to begin preparing for the day in advance. I took to task to remember appropriately what a special gift we have been given in each of our children and grandchildren. Each one needs to be celebrated and each one needs to understand how very much they mean to me. The Truth is, I will be given all of eternity to celebrate with Macy. And, while there is breath in my lungs I have a responsibility to celebrate those that are here with us now in a way that will be enjoyable and bring honor to Our God.
For the years ahead, I will strive to cherish the memories of all the Mother's Days I have lived. I shared above about my Grandma. What you may not realize is that she died on Thanksgiving Day 1991...and to this day, I do not go to a good place to eat without thinking of her--for not only did she enjoy laughing--she loved a good meal--and pie!
The current Mother's Days will be fun to watch Alayna be lavished with precious hand-made gifts from her children--and the sweet words that they are prompted to write about her and to her on this day. She is an awesome mommy and her children and her husband love to be with her.
I have much to be thankful for, and the time we have here on this earth is so short--I do not want to waste a minute feeling sad about 'what might have been'...for that is not reality!
One last thing: if you belong to the same "club" as me...I am sorry for your loss...but please try to approach Mother's Day with a different perspective than dread. Please, cherish the blessing and the memory and enjoy those that are there with you now, for that is all we are assured of--right now!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
My Chains are Gone?
"We don't know each other any more. An astonishing story." (a couple of Mike Barnicle's comments on Morning Joe MS NBC 5/8/13)
These words were spoken in relation to the news story about three women kidnapped in 2002...and only now, in 2013, one escaped to draw attention to the rest in Cleveland, OH--some report that they had been chained by the waist, living in the basement of a house by three brothers for all this time.
We are completely amazed how this could have happened in twenty-first century, United States of America. The Land of the free, the Home of the brave. Some are saying that police have been led to this house at various times throughout the years, but no action was taken. How could this happen to young women, not little girls, young women, without someone noticing?
I do not have any idea how it happened, and I'm pretty sure that there are details of this incident that we will never know.
My questions range From: how could three brothers do such a thing? How could three young women 'stay'...did they even have a choice? And, where were the police investigators-- the women were reported missing--at what point did the search for them stop? Is it possible that no one saw anything, at all?
To questions along the lines of: Could this kind of thing be happening in my town, in my neighborhood? Or, in yours?
We live in a generation where no one wants to get involved. And do we, in this 21st century, really want to get to know each other? The next time you are in a busy public place just look around. People are enamored, I might go so far to say obsessed, with their cell phones--no time for face to face conversation--there must be a screen involved...(think skype, snap-chat, etc.)
On the other hand, we have information from around the world at our finger-tips through the technology of those phones. As a matter of fact, I have downloaded an app that makes my phone buzz to alert me of 'breaking news.' (the DOW hit 15,000 yesterday, for example)
And yet, our society remains uninformed...uninvolved and seemingly very lonely. It was with great shock and awe that I listened recently to a group of students arriving for their class time with loud and rude comments and gestures--the class was called Interpersonal Relationships...really.
I think of these three recently 'freed' women --free to live a life with out being chained by the waist. Certainly in bondage. But at the very same time, those students are in a form of bondage to an image they are trying to live up to--struggling to be accepted by their peers with their actions and words--only to make themselves and those around them more miserable.
We can be in bondage to our jobs, our addictions, our friends, our debt, our passions and/or our______(fill in the blank). Indeed....just about anything that captivates us to the point that we can think of little else. Indeed, we do not have to be chained by the waist in a stranger's basement to live in bondage and slavery, do we? We can walk around as 'free people' and yet live in bondage.
One Sabbath, Jesus, while standing in the synagogue in Nazareth, read these words once written by the ancient prophet, Isaiah (61:1,2)
"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." (my emphasis)
Then he rolled up the scroll and simply sat down...with all eyes "fastened on him"...he began to teach them by saying, "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing." (This account and Jesus' teaching that got him driven out of Nazareth are found in Luke 4:14-30)
The reason I write His words here is to share with you that the prophecy has truly been fulfilled! There is a way out of bondage...we do not have to live as slaves...or captives...our chains can truly be gone, just like these three young women who's pictures we see on the news this morning.
I once heard Sheila Walsh (Women of Faith Speaker) say, "Freedom is not the absence of bars, it is the Presence of God." There is truth there. Pursue Truth. Pursue Freedom, through a personal relationship with God....freedom; recovery; release...the Lord's favor! The message of hope--to a lonely generation...
These words were spoken in relation to the news story about three women kidnapped in 2002...and only now, in 2013, one escaped to draw attention to the rest in Cleveland, OH--some report that they had been chained by the waist, living in the basement of a house by three brothers for all this time.
We are completely amazed how this could have happened in twenty-first century, United States of America. The Land of the free, the Home of the brave. Some are saying that police have been led to this house at various times throughout the years, but no action was taken. How could this happen to young women, not little girls, young women, without someone noticing?
I do not have any idea how it happened, and I'm pretty sure that there are details of this incident that we will never know.
My questions range From: how could three brothers do such a thing? How could three young women 'stay'...did they even have a choice? And, where were the police investigators-- the women were reported missing--at what point did the search for them stop? Is it possible that no one saw anything, at all?
To questions along the lines of: Could this kind of thing be happening in my town, in my neighborhood? Or, in yours?
We live in a generation where no one wants to get involved. And do we, in this 21st century, really want to get to know each other? The next time you are in a busy public place just look around. People are enamored, I might go so far to say obsessed, with their cell phones--no time for face to face conversation--there must be a screen involved...(think skype, snap-chat, etc.)
On the other hand, we have information from around the world at our finger-tips through the technology of those phones. As a matter of fact, I have downloaded an app that makes my phone buzz to alert me of 'breaking news.' (the DOW hit 15,000 yesterday, for example)
And yet, our society remains uninformed...uninvolved and seemingly very lonely. It was with great shock and awe that I listened recently to a group of students arriving for their class time with loud and rude comments and gestures--the class was called Interpersonal Relationships...really.
I think of these three recently 'freed' women --free to live a life with out being chained by the waist. Certainly in bondage. But at the very same time, those students are in a form of bondage to an image they are trying to live up to--struggling to be accepted by their peers with their actions and words--only to make themselves and those around them more miserable.
We can be in bondage to our jobs, our addictions, our friends, our debt, our passions and/or our______(fill in the blank). Indeed....just about anything that captivates us to the point that we can think of little else. Indeed, we do not have to be chained by the waist in a stranger's basement to live in bondage and slavery, do we? We can walk around as 'free people' and yet live in bondage.
One Sabbath, Jesus, while standing in the synagogue in Nazareth, read these words once written by the ancient prophet, Isaiah (61:1,2)
"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." (my emphasis)
Then he rolled up the scroll and simply sat down...with all eyes "fastened on him"...he began to teach them by saying, "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing." (This account and Jesus' teaching that got him driven out of Nazareth are found in Luke 4:14-30)
The reason I write His words here is to share with you that the prophecy has truly been fulfilled! There is a way out of bondage...we do not have to live as slaves...or captives...our chains can truly be gone, just like these three young women who's pictures we see on the news this morning.
I once heard Sheila Walsh (Women of Faith Speaker) say, "Freedom is not the absence of bars, it is the Presence of God." There is truth there. Pursue Truth. Pursue Freedom, through a personal relationship with God....freedom; recovery; release...the Lord's favor! The message of hope--to a lonely generation...
Monday, May 6, 2013
"GRACE--More than we Deserve; Greater than we Imagine"
GRACE, the title of the most recent event in our Church's "Worship Through the Arts" effort! I was a small part of the choir yesterday, as we rehearsed for an hour, then performed for an hour, took a break, and came back to perform once more in the middle of the afternoon.
I want to pause for a moment, because his name did not even appear on the program, to acknowledge and say thank you --to Phillip Walthall. Phillip, thank you for your leadership, your courage, and for the way that you obviously are trusting God's hand of provision in this ministry of music and arts that you direct. Thanks, for allowing God to use your talents and for sharing them with the part of the Body of Christ that meets at First Baptist Church, Vincennes.
Yesterday, as I stood singing songs of worship and praise--I couldn't help but reflect on how thankful I am for the Grace that God has extended to me individually, to my family corporately and to this church that He has allowed us to currently call 'home.'
Just one of the lines we sang, and indeed the message of the Gospel, is that God has "turned my tragedy to glory--for this is my grace story!" Don't you just love that about Him!?
The effort yesterday, didn't just happen--it took thought, planning and practice. Not to mention all the logistics for setting up and tearing down--even re-locating regular Sunday morning services to the gym for the morning.
Let me be clear, though, I'm speaking from the 'third row soprano' experience. Within that experience there were hours of learning the notes, tempos, rests and timing. Not to mention learning 'how' to breathe and 'when' to breathe, as well. Phrases of the songs have played over and over in my mind these past many weeks.
The choir worked independently to memorize the words of each of song. And, then the day came--the day that no one, except maybe Phillip, was looking forward to: the day that we were to sing without books....And you see, even though it was scary to miss-call words--or not have the exact note that was written on the page--we had to keep it in perspective.
For weeks we practiced with recorded music. And, then the day came that the musicians were added; this meant that there would be no more CD accompaniment. From my chair, I could only hear drums and a little bit of the piano...and the sopranos singing on my right and on my left. Even though this sounded less than right to me, I had to trust that the sound technicians were blending it all together to make it pleasing to the audience. Indeed, if the sound had been mixed to be most pleasing to my ear, it would have sounded like a mess to the masses.
After the musicians were added, there were added these beautiful elements of worship that enhanced the words of the message the choir would sing. The choir did not have a part in preparing those that presented a message through sign language, a worship dance, solos, voice ensembles and a personal testimony. Each one, though, was placed at just the right moment to beautifully continue the timeless message of GRACE.
From lights, sound, video and video efforts to each note played by the orchestra...it was not to be for me, because I had a part--small as it was from the third row--not the whole, and that is as it should be. If I had spent my time listening for the drum to miss a beat, or for the altos to miss a note, my focus would have been on the wrong thing.
Think of it like this I could have had a miserable time yesterday if I had focused on the fact that I truly desire to learn to play violin--I could have become jealous and envious of the gifting of those that played the stringed instruments so beautifully--neglecting my part on the third row. OR, I could have played the violin yesterday, without any training or preparation, and that would not have helped the beauty of the performance in any way, in fact it would have messed it up pretty bad! I would have become completely frustrated with myself, and perhaps with God for not letting me do a different part. (not to mention a huge embarrassment to everyone involved!)
Collectively all our parts were important--because the message of GRACE was/is the most important thing--as an offering of Praise to God Almighty--the very author of GRACE.--the One who turns our tragedy to glory!
And that friends, is a microcosm of the Church--the Body of Christ, the one that He bled and died for so that we could be given this GRACE that we all sang about yesterday...and hopefully are living today!
Within the Body of Christ, the Church, we have a part, and it is uniquely ours. Many times, from our place (think third row soprano section) the work of the church looks 'off' or it doesn't 'sound right'...(someone hits a wrong note, or a part of the whole seems louder than the others)...We learn from one another--we encourage one another--but we must still be responsible for our part of the work of the Church...not comparing ourselves to the others or becoming jealous because their part looks more like something we'd like to do.
We should not be jealous or envious of each other because of our part; we need to prepare our part to the best of our practiced ability to bring glory and honor to Him. (think of my desire to play the violin)
By His grace we have been saved...by His grace we live and move and breathe..by His grace, we can be a gift to the Body.
Now GO: sing, dance, play the violin, or type words into a blog...do it all for God's Glory, because ultimately: HE Is the Audience!!
.
I want to pause for a moment, because his name did not even appear on the program, to acknowledge and say thank you --to Phillip Walthall. Phillip, thank you for your leadership, your courage, and for the way that you obviously are trusting God's hand of provision in this ministry of music and arts that you direct. Thanks, for allowing God to use your talents and for sharing them with the part of the Body of Christ that meets at First Baptist Church, Vincennes.
Yesterday, as I stood singing songs of worship and praise--I couldn't help but reflect on how thankful I am for the Grace that God has extended to me individually, to my family corporately and to this church that He has allowed us to currently call 'home.'
Just one of the lines we sang, and indeed the message of the Gospel, is that God has "turned my tragedy to glory--for this is my grace story!" Don't you just love that about Him!?
The effort yesterday, didn't just happen--it took thought, planning and practice. Not to mention all the logistics for setting up and tearing down--even re-locating regular Sunday morning services to the gym for the morning.
Let me be clear, though, I'm speaking from the 'third row soprano' experience. Within that experience there were hours of learning the notes, tempos, rests and timing. Not to mention learning 'how' to breathe and 'when' to breathe, as well. Phrases of the songs have played over and over in my mind these past many weeks.
The choir worked independently to memorize the words of each of song. And, then the day came--the day that no one, except maybe Phillip, was looking forward to: the day that we were to sing without books....And you see, even though it was scary to miss-call words--or not have the exact note that was written on the page--we had to keep it in perspective.
For weeks we practiced with recorded music. And, then the day came that the musicians were added; this meant that there would be no more CD accompaniment. From my chair, I could only hear drums and a little bit of the piano...and the sopranos singing on my right and on my left. Even though this sounded less than right to me, I had to trust that the sound technicians were blending it all together to make it pleasing to the audience. Indeed, if the sound had been mixed to be most pleasing to my ear, it would have sounded like a mess to the masses.
After the musicians were added, there were added these beautiful elements of worship that enhanced the words of the message the choir would sing. The choir did not have a part in preparing those that presented a message through sign language, a worship dance, solos, voice ensembles and a personal testimony. Each one, though, was placed at just the right moment to beautifully continue the timeless message of GRACE.
From lights, sound, video and video efforts to each note played by the orchestra...it was not to be for me, because I had a part--small as it was from the third row--not the whole, and that is as it should be. If I had spent my time listening for the drum to miss a beat, or for the altos to miss a note, my focus would have been on the wrong thing.
Think of it like this I could have had a miserable time yesterday if I had focused on the fact that I truly desire to learn to play violin--I could have become jealous and envious of the gifting of those that played the stringed instruments so beautifully--neglecting my part on the third row. OR, I could have played the violin yesterday, without any training or preparation, and that would not have helped the beauty of the performance in any way, in fact it would have messed it up pretty bad! I would have become completely frustrated with myself, and perhaps with God for not letting me do a different part. (not to mention a huge embarrassment to everyone involved!)
Collectively all our parts were important--because the message of GRACE was/is the most important thing--as an offering of Praise to God Almighty--the very author of GRACE.--the One who turns our tragedy to glory!
And that friends, is a microcosm of the Church--the Body of Christ, the one that He bled and died for so that we could be given this GRACE that we all sang about yesterday...and hopefully are living today!
Within the Body of Christ, the Church, we have a part, and it is uniquely ours. Many times, from our place (think third row soprano section) the work of the church looks 'off' or it doesn't 'sound right'...(someone hits a wrong note, or a part of the whole seems louder than the others)...We learn from one another--we encourage one another--but we must still be responsible for our part of the work of the Church...not comparing ourselves to the others or becoming jealous because their part looks more like something we'd like to do.
We should not be jealous or envious of each other because of our part; we need to prepare our part to the best of our practiced ability to bring glory and honor to Him. (think of my desire to play the violin)
By His grace we have been saved...by His grace we live and move and breathe..by His grace, we can be a gift to the Body.
Now GO: sing, dance, play the violin, or type words into a blog...do it all for God's Glory, because ultimately: HE Is the Audience!!
.
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