"Taste and see that the LORD is good, blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing." Psalm 34:8-9
Yes, taste. That is what we love to do, isn't it? Taste the salty air at the beach...the snow flakes on our tongues in winter. We love to taste the spoon after we've stirred up our sweet tea. And lick the batter bowl when we make a cake or brownies. Tasting is important to us. If it doesn't taste good, we don't want to have anything to do with it. If our food tastes bad to us, we get rid of it. Thankfully a very Wise Creator, the God of the Universe equipped our bodies with tongues that can tell if something tastes good or bad, sweet or salty, hot or cold, sour or not! Our taste buds discern these flavors for us!
How do we "taste and see that the LORD is good"? I think Holy Spirit helps us discern if the good-ness we are seeking or are experiencing is from the LORD. His goodness will line up with what we know about Him from scripture. For example, He sees the beginning and the end...and He knows where our current 'circumstances' fit in that calendar. He is a good God, waiting and more than willing to lavish His grace, mercy and blessing upon us, those He loves!
That is good news. News that can make our sometimes bleak outlook turn around. He is "I AM"...and He deserves and is worthy of our continued praise! As we press in to His identity and character, we realize that tasting Him is tasting His goodness, His provision, His love, His abundance, and His grace--but ultimately, His presence. Nothing compares to that experience. Nothing.
Amazing to me is the fact that the same God that created time and space, cares and knows how many hairs are on my head (and He knows their 'original color'!)--He also blesses us with air to breath, sweet family & friends and wonderful things to place on our taste buds, like creme horns, chocolate kisses or grilled shrimp. He is a good God, and we can know that He can be trusted in our every circumstance.
Randy & I were blessed to have met some new friends last night at dinner. As she and I talked, we discussed the fact that we need to trust in Jesus personally, not our 'religious experience.' She shared with me Bible vereses that ultimately mader her want to trust Him. Consider tasting that experience for yourself, or sharing it with someone who is looking for it.
The verses are found in Philippians 4:6-7, which says: "Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything, by prayer and thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Create a Visual...Really?
My intensive class this semester is theology of 'Suffering and Healing'. One of our assignments during the week of class work was to develop a personal loss line. We were urged to pray about
it, meet with God in a quiet place and contemplate our lives, broken in to segments of time. By actually charting ages and losses, with 1 being a ‘mild’ loss (if there is such a thing) and 10
being a ‘deeper’ loss, we graphed our lives and our losses, turning the page in to a simple seismograph. This resulted in a visual tool to use in ministry. It also proved to be an emotional experience. Our culture does not like to talk about our losses...did you ever notice that?
If you know me at all, you know that I firmly believe that we humans must spend the time and
do the work involved in completely grieving our losses. We simply MUST, or it affects everything
about our lives, from our physical to mental well-being. Grief affects our relationship with others, as well as our spiritual life, or our relationship with God. Sometimes, when we grieve, we blame God—resulting in little interest to spend time in His word, or in prayer. When we grieve, we are at our lowest, and that is when our enemy is there, enticing us to believe all kinds of lies. So, guard your heart, be certain you believe truth, and do the work to get through your grief.
With that said, I want to make it clear that (for those who are reading that may not know me
well) that loss and grief are not strange to me. The losses for our family in the year of 2011, were severe and we are still working through—and probably will continue to work through for years to come—the “ripple” effects of being so far away from everything that was familiar to us, in our marriage and family, for the past thirty years. Yes, thirty. For some reason, today, that sounds
completely ancient! And as I write this, it is very clear to me that I would not be able to sit here and write this in my right mind, if Jesus were not King of my Life!
Yes, over the past year, our family has had many moments of giving up the familiar for the
unfamiliar, the comfortable for the uncomfortable, the known for the unknown—many
times unbearable pain and sorrow. However, with each of those moments came an obvious, and sometimes not so obvious, opportunity to feel and experience God’s faithfulness and His
amazing Presence! I praise Him for those moments of ‘question’—because in them, I saw His Hand first hand!
As I contemplated what to write in this blog post, I thought about sharing the major
losses with you. However, I have talked about Macy before…which is, by far, our worst loss…And, since I am now grieving secondary losses from the loss of ‘life as knew it to be’…I’ll save the ‘how I got through it, and what I learned from it’ for a blog post (or even perhaps a
book), far in the future.
Instead, I thought I would share ‘what I’ve learned’ through one constant, yet changing part
of my life. I have been attending church services of some variety since I was born. I thought it would be fun to write about what I have learned from churches that I have attended throughout the years. Yet, before we dive in I should first mention that if I know you from these places, do NOT take anything personally, for what I am saying below is done out of love for the Body of Christ at large, His Bride, the Church. It’s just sometimes, I think there are many things we humans could do to better represent Him in His Body—yet the fun thing about God is that He left
this work to us, as humans, knowing we are weak, and that we are but dust! (according to Psalm 103:14) So, here we go:
First Baptist Church, Eldorado, Illinois…taught me what it means for a church to truly value their children’s department. The teachers I had as a small child, from nursery to beginners to elementary, taught me that God is love, and that they worked very hard to make sure we knew it.
First Church of Christ, Eldorado, Illinois…taught me life skills, how to have a great youth group, and much about commitment to marriage, and to loving God. I also learned about weaknesses in eldership and that no matter what, do not put your preacher on a pedestal, for he will fall off…Also, I learned about valuing the prayers of older generations. Some of the most powerful women I have known in my life, either met OR, continue to meet on Tuesday mornings for ‘Prayer Band.’ The women of that church have always displayed a certain amount of grit
and a great amount of grace, and I have loved them so much for over thirty-five years.
Christian Church of Olney, Olney, Illinois…I learned how to be an adult worshipper of God and how to truly love and trust the people of God. Serving with a glad heart out of our love for God was a key portion of the life lesson I learned here. I also brought five babies home from the hospital, and directly to this church. We were welcomed here from the first moment we walked through the doors as newlyweds. We spent the first twenty years of our marriage serving in this place, mostly in youth related activities…when we left here, I grieved this loss second only to losing our Macy. I write that now, because God has healed my hurts and revealed to me that ‘that loss’ greatly prepared me for the place I now find myself—in terms of severed friendships (which have in the years that have followed by reconciled) and the loneliness that I experienced—these caused me to search out God’s word and rely on His strength to come to my true identity
in HIM! In other words, if I had not experienced this loss, I would not be who I am today, and so I can say with joy in my heart that I am thankful for the experience, for in it, I experienced a faithful, comforting God.
Elm Street Christian Church, Olney, Illinois…Here I learned the difficulty of coming to a new place, and finding my place to serve. By God’s grace, I was given much freedom to do most of the things He led me to do in a pastoral role. I use the term most of the things, because the season of ministry I experienced at this place was truly Spirit-led…and sometimes, because listening to the Spirit was new to me, I didn’t rely on Him to truly work out details, and so I would either shut
myself down, or allow fear to overtake, and not pursue what it was I was being led to do. In this church I was given the opportunity to experience, first-hand the difficulty of ‘women in ministry.’ I have a whole theology about the reason, which will also have to wait to ‘come out’ in book form. But, let me just say that those difficulties help me better minister to women in ministry, if you can grasp that, then my lesson was well-learned…fire and all! Closing the door to my office during May of 2011, for the last time was almost as hard as walking away from the grave after a graveside service. For I knew that the ministry to the women of ESCC would go on, I was just unbearably sad that I would no longer be a ‘part’… and I miss them very much. OOOOOOoooooops…sorry, now I am going in to territory that I promised for another time.
Oasis Church, Loganville, GA…Here I learned how to enjoy, discern and follow messages that were obviously prepared with a passion to be hermeneutically correct in mind! Each week, it was clear what the original intent of the message was, what was going on at that time, to invoke such a message, and what we can do as a current day audience to apply the truth presented that day to our lives. I learned that good worship music is a relative term…and a choir comprised of all kinds of people is an amazing thing! I love going back there…thank goodness sermons that are available online!
RockBridge Church, Dalton, GA…In this place I have learned how to truly attend church and blend in to the wood work. Don’t worry, mom, I still love to serve, it is just that the nature of our ‘job’ affords little opportunity to become involved in serving within the church, itself. The other lesson I am afforded to learn here is how to take (up to 8) teenagers to church each week, teach them that they are to pay attention and respect those around them, for most of those we take have not spent much time in church services in their lives.
To be sure, there are many churches I have attended throughout the years that have done amazing things for me, personally, and for ministries that I am or have been involved in.
Wentzville Christian Church, Wentzville, MO...the ladies from this church took a variety of Macy's clothing and turned them in to a beautiful quilt...out of their love!
Antioch Christian in Odessa, TX....gave housing to our youth group when we passed through there on our way to Mexico to build a house.
To name a couple...
I was able to recently attend a church service where amazing, supernatural things were beginning to happen within the congregation and the preacher was excited about it—yet he was humble enough to remind them that even he didn’t have the answers for what was going on! That’s where I want to live—on the edge of my seat—not being able to understand and explain everything that is going on! For if I can explain it all then I am not trusting Our God—Just look around—for He is Creator of the Universe—Completely Other—Worthy of All Praise!
it, meet with God in a quiet place and contemplate our lives, broken in to segments of time. By actually charting ages and losses, with 1 being a ‘mild’ loss (if there is such a thing) and 10
being a ‘deeper’ loss, we graphed our lives and our losses, turning the page in to a simple seismograph. This resulted in a visual tool to use in ministry. It also proved to be an emotional experience. Our culture does not like to talk about our losses...did you ever notice that?
If you know me at all, you know that I firmly believe that we humans must spend the time and
do the work involved in completely grieving our losses. We simply MUST, or it affects everything
about our lives, from our physical to mental well-being. Grief affects our relationship with others, as well as our spiritual life, or our relationship with God. Sometimes, when we grieve, we blame God—resulting in little interest to spend time in His word, or in prayer. When we grieve, we are at our lowest, and that is when our enemy is there, enticing us to believe all kinds of lies. So, guard your heart, be certain you believe truth, and do the work to get through your grief.
With that said, I want to make it clear that (for those who are reading that may not know me
well) that loss and grief are not strange to me. The losses for our family in the year of 2011, were severe and we are still working through—and probably will continue to work through for years to come—the “ripple” effects of being so far away from everything that was familiar to us, in our marriage and family, for the past thirty years. Yes, thirty. For some reason, today, that sounds
completely ancient! And as I write this, it is very clear to me that I would not be able to sit here and write this in my right mind, if Jesus were not King of my Life!
Yes, over the past year, our family has had many moments of giving up the familiar for the
unfamiliar, the comfortable for the uncomfortable, the known for the unknown—many
times unbearable pain and sorrow. However, with each of those moments came an obvious, and sometimes not so obvious, opportunity to feel and experience God’s faithfulness and His
amazing Presence! I praise Him for those moments of ‘question’—because in them, I saw His Hand first hand!
As I contemplated what to write in this blog post, I thought about sharing the major
losses with you. However, I have talked about Macy before…which is, by far, our worst loss…And, since I am now grieving secondary losses from the loss of ‘life as knew it to be’…I’ll save the ‘how I got through it, and what I learned from it’ for a blog post (or even perhaps a
book), far in the future.
Instead, I thought I would share ‘what I’ve learned’ through one constant, yet changing part
of my life. I have been attending church services of some variety since I was born. I thought it would be fun to write about what I have learned from churches that I have attended throughout the years. Yet, before we dive in I should first mention that if I know you from these places, do NOT take anything personally, for what I am saying below is done out of love for the Body of Christ at large, His Bride, the Church. It’s just sometimes, I think there are many things we humans could do to better represent Him in His Body—yet the fun thing about God is that He left
this work to us, as humans, knowing we are weak, and that we are but dust! (according to Psalm 103:14) So, here we go:
First Baptist Church, Eldorado, Illinois…taught me what it means for a church to truly value their children’s department. The teachers I had as a small child, from nursery to beginners to elementary, taught me that God is love, and that they worked very hard to make sure we knew it.
First Church of Christ, Eldorado, Illinois…taught me life skills, how to have a great youth group, and much about commitment to marriage, and to loving God. I also learned about weaknesses in eldership and that no matter what, do not put your preacher on a pedestal, for he will fall off…Also, I learned about valuing the prayers of older generations. Some of the most powerful women I have known in my life, either met OR, continue to meet on Tuesday mornings for ‘Prayer Band.’ The women of that church have always displayed a certain amount of grit
and a great amount of grace, and I have loved them so much for over thirty-five years.
Christian Church of Olney, Olney, Illinois…I learned how to be an adult worshipper of God and how to truly love and trust the people of God. Serving with a glad heart out of our love for God was a key portion of the life lesson I learned here. I also brought five babies home from the hospital, and directly to this church. We were welcomed here from the first moment we walked through the doors as newlyweds. We spent the first twenty years of our marriage serving in this place, mostly in youth related activities…when we left here, I grieved this loss second only to losing our Macy. I write that now, because God has healed my hurts and revealed to me that ‘that loss’ greatly prepared me for the place I now find myself—in terms of severed friendships (which have in the years that have followed by reconciled) and the loneliness that I experienced—these caused me to search out God’s word and rely on His strength to come to my true identity
in HIM! In other words, if I had not experienced this loss, I would not be who I am today, and so I can say with joy in my heart that I am thankful for the experience, for in it, I experienced a faithful, comforting God.
Elm Street Christian Church, Olney, Illinois…Here I learned the difficulty of coming to a new place, and finding my place to serve. By God’s grace, I was given much freedom to do most of the things He led me to do in a pastoral role. I use the term most of the things, because the season of ministry I experienced at this place was truly Spirit-led…and sometimes, because listening to the Spirit was new to me, I didn’t rely on Him to truly work out details, and so I would either shut
myself down, or allow fear to overtake, and not pursue what it was I was being led to do. In this church I was given the opportunity to experience, first-hand the difficulty of ‘women in ministry.’ I have a whole theology about the reason, which will also have to wait to ‘come out’ in book form. But, let me just say that those difficulties help me better minister to women in ministry, if you can grasp that, then my lesson was well-learned…fire and all! Closing the door to my office during May of 2011, for the last time was almost as hard as walking away from the grave after a graveside service. For I knew that the ministry to the women of ESCC would go on, I was just unbearably sad that I would no longer be a ‘part’… and I miss them very much. OOOOOOoooooops…sorry, now I am going in to territory that I promised for another time.
Oasis Church, Loganville, GA…Here I learned how to enjoy, discern and follow messages that were obviously prepared with a passion to be hermeneutically correct in mind! Each week, it was clear what the original intent of the message was, what was going on at that time, to invoke such a message, and what we can do as a current day audience to apply the truth presented that day to our lives. I learned that good worship music is a relative term…and a choir comprised of all kinds of people is an amazing thing! I love going back there…thank goodness sermons that are available online!
RockBridge Church, Dalton, GA…In this place I have learned how to truly attend church and blend in to the wood work. Don’t worry, mom, I still love to serve, it is just that the nature of our ‘job’ affords little opportunity to become involved in serving within the church, itself. The other lesson I am afforded to learn here is how to take (up to 8) teenagers to church each week, teach them that they are to pay attention and respect those around them, for most of those we take have not spent much time in church services in their lives.
To be sure, there are many churches I have attended throughout the years that have done amazing things for me, personally, and for ministries that I am or have been involved in.
Wentzville Christian Church, Wentzville, MO...the ladies from this church took a variety of Macy's clothing and turned them in to a beautiful quilt...out of their love!
Antioch Christian in Odessa, TX....gave housing to our youth group when we passed through there on our way to Mexico to build a house.
To name a couple...
I was able to recently attend a church service where amazing, supernatural things were beginning to happen within the congregation and the preacher was excited about it—yet he was humble enough to remind them that even he didn’t have the answers for what was going on! That’s where I want to live—on the edge of my seat—not being able to understand and explain everything that is going on! For if I can explain it all then I am not trusting Our God—Just look around—for He is Creator of the Universe—Completely Other—Worthy of All Praise!
Friday, January 13, 2012
Storms, Unpleasant Conversations and Blessings!
To my surprise and utter delight, in the midst of storms and unpleasant conversations, there always seems to be a bright spot! I have found a new friend that sheds light on the bright spot. She has s similar job as me, house 'mom' to up to 6 boys. The difference is, I am old enough to be her mom! Hilarious, to me...and then I find myself asking the most daunting of questions. Questions like: Perhaps I really am too old to effectively parent teen-agers. She certainly seems to have it all together. Perhaps if I were younger, thinner, more beautiful in the morning, had longer or shorter hair...you know....all those questions we ask ourselves in the quiet moments...and then in my head I have to scream: JUST GO WITH IT...YOU ARE HERE FOR A REASON...NO MATTER YOUR AGE, JEAN SIZE, OR HAIR COLOR (which is, of course, up to one of my other new friends, Tania--the Master Stylist).
And, in the quiet of the morning, and in the intimate moments with my God, He assuringly tells me to trust only in Him and His timing and His provision. His word is clear, but the sweetness of His presence also assures me of His plans. It is truly amazing to watch as He places people in this ministry that can not only minister effectively to these young people, but also to the hearts of the staff, as well! I am in awe most of the time!
Just last night, our tutor, who comes three times per week, showed me some pictures on the Internet of his great uncle...who was sainted in Canada. A fascinating story, really, of a very frail man, who in the end of his life, had a chapel that was built to the side of the church. In this chapel, he would meet with people and pray for them, and they were healed...the fascinating part is that when my friend the tutor visited this place years later, there were crutches and other items the people who had been healed as a result of his prayers just left at the chapel. Why is it that we can become so excited that it happened 'back then', and discount such miracles from our God today.
Of course, I would say, because I get to write this, that if we believe that the same God that healed all those people so long ago isn't doing the same kinds of things today, we are deeply misled. God has provided miracle after miracle for me and my family and for those around me...It is truly inspiring to hear stories of God's move and purpose in people's lives.
My new friend that I first talked about, is such a blessing to me in this 'dry spell from real-life girl friends'...she speaks openly of scripture and God's move in their life as a couple! I love that about God's people...I can't wait to meet more and more of them, as time goes on, Lord willing!
Be blessed today. This, as you probably know, would be considered a 'hard day' for those who grieve loved ones who have gone on to Heaven. By God's grace and mercy, we are still breathing in and out, and praise His Name!
And, in the quiet of the morning, and in the intimate moments with my God, He assuringly tells me to trust only in Him and His timing and His provision. His word is clear, but the sweetness of His presence also assures me of His plans. It is truly amazing to watch as He places people in this ministry that can not only minister effectively to these young people, but also to the hearts of the staff, as well! I am in awe most of the time!
Just last night, our tutor, who comes three times per week, showed me some pictures on the Internet of his great uncle...who was sainted in Canada. A fascinating story, really, of a very frail man, who in the end of his life, had a chapel that was built to the side of the church. In this chapel, he would meet with people and pray for them, and they were healed...the fascinating part is that when my friend the tutor visited this place years later, there were crutches and other items the people who had been healed as a result of his prayers just left at the chapel. Why is it that we can become so excited that it happened 'back then', and discount such miracles from our God today.
Of course, I would say, because I get to write this, that if we believe that the same God that healed all those people so long ago isn't doing the same kinds of things today, we are deeply misled. God has provided miracle after miracle for me and my family and for those around me...It is truly inspiring to hear stories of God's move and purpose in people's lives.
My new friend that I first talked about, is such a blessing to me in this 'dry spell from real-life girl friends'...she speaks openly of scripture and God's move in their life as a couple! I love that about God's people...I can't wait to meet more and more of them, as time goes on, Lord willing!
Be blessed today. This, as you probably know, would be considered a 'hard day' for those who grieve loved ones who have gone on to Heaven. By God's grace and mercy, we are still breathing in and out, and praise His Name!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
To bring you up to date...
Here we go, again! The beginning of a New Year...the beginning of a second semester...the beginning of a new life..much to celebrate in 2012!
We were truly blessed on December 6, as a family to welcome our third grand baby in to the world..her name: Anna Grace...she's beautiful, as you would know, and she completes her family to five. Our daughter, who always and only wanted to be a mom and wife, is living her dream. Because God is anxious to bless, and He is faithful, as only He could orchestrate, I was able to spend twelve days with them, helping get Will to school, and play with Ally, and keep laundry caught up during those first few days of adjusting to a 'large' family!
And, again as only our Loving God could bless, we were able to be with our immediate family to celebrate Christmas. To continue our family tradition, we all went together to see 'ChipWrecked'...and I didn't even fall asleep!
We were able, then, to make it back home in time to be here in North Georgia for the actual Christmas holiday, celebrating with the boys in our home--and introducing them to the 'Bishop family traditions' that we enjoy together. Part of that tradition is to have our tree up for most of the month of December to enjoy. One day, early in the month, the boys came home from school and it was just 'there'...in the foyer, in all its holiday splendor! They seemed to love it! One of them would just go sit on the stairs, and look at it. Another tradition is that I wrap all the presents, but I 'code' them so that I know who they belong to, but the recipient won't know til Christmas Eve! That was fun! We did lots of finger foods for Christmas Eve, and then the more traditional ham/turkey on Christmas Day! Then Christmas night, we took them to the movie to see "We Bought a Zoo"...some how, that seemed to fit us exactly.
We attended church on Christmas Eve together, then came home to eat and open presents! The boys got so many really nice things. It was such a blessing to be here to see their expressions when they opened those things that they'd asked for, or dreamed about for this entire fall.
The Christmas break, winter break, what ever you call it, was quite a challenge in many respects. Everyone was home all the time, and there was no 'routine'...just a glimpse of summer time, perhaps I'll buy some chickens or rabbits to 'tend'...of course, I am kidding.
We were able to take most of our kids to an event called 'Winter Ramp 2011'. What an experience. 5,000 kids. Loud music. Challenging Messages. Lots of hugs. Many tears. Constant shouts of praise. Praised in the New Year. Not much sitting. After 2 full days of that, I felt every 'one' of my fifty years. But it was such an experience, that I would do it all again. Drawing near to the God of the Universe, watching our girls seek His face in prayer, and then encourage their friends in this ministry to do the same was an experience I won't soon forget, and neither will they! Each of the girls experienced God in a new and exciting way. Each was unique to them, and the circumstances they are in personally, but it was such a blessing for me to have been there to experience it with them. Truly special, these daughters of ours!
Which brings me to the next big event: the girl's 16th birthday is tomorrow! I have told their story so many times, they are sick of hearing it. But, let me just say one more time: these girls have been such a gift from God, their entire lives--even though there have been truly hard moments for us all, they are precious! They are so hilarious, and love to make each other crazy...but they are mostly tender hearted, and love to laugh...and that we are really good at doing! Just this week: Madison was helping the kitchen chore boys do dishes, she was wiping counters or something, they were about done, and the two boys picked her up, and sat her in the dish water...hilarious. Randy was washing the van, with some help, but before it was over, they were ALL wet...I'm considering a big floor drain in the kitchen, and installing a power washer in the wall in there, not sure that would meet state standards, but we could have some fun!
I'll write more later...the kids are back in school...the population of our home continues to change, and we all crave routine...Oh, and I am again being blessed to begin another semester at A.W. Tozer Theological Seminary, beginning tomorrow. Blessing to you for reading this, and remembering our family in prayer!
We were truly blessed on December 6, as a family to welcome our third grand baby in to the world..her name: Anna Grace...she's beautiful, as you would know, and she completes her family to five. Our daughter, who always and only wanted to be a mom and wife, is living her dream. Because God is anxious to bless, and He is faithful, as only He could orchestrate, I was able to spend twelve days with them, helping get Will to school, and play with Ally, and keep laundry caught up during those first few days of adjusting to a 'large' family!
And, again as only our Loving God could bless, we were able to be with our immediate family to celebrate Christmas. To continue our family tradition, we all went together to see 'ChipWrecked'...and I didn't even fall asleep!
We were able, then, to make it back home in time to be here in North Georgia for the actual Christmas holiday, celebrating with the boys in our home--and introducing them to the 'Bishop family traditions' that we enjoy together. Part of that tradition is to have our tree up for most of the month of December to enjoy. One day, early in the month, the boys came home from school and it was just 'there'...in the foyer, in all its holiday splendor! They seemed to love it! One of them would just go sit on the stairs, and look at it. Another tradition is that I wrap all the presents, but I 'code' them so that I know who they belong to, but the recipient won't know til Christmas Eve! That was fun! We did lots of finger foods for Christmas Eve, and then the more traditional ham/turkey on Christmas Day! Then Christmas night, we took them to the movie to see "We Bought a Zoo"...some how, that seemed to fit us exactly.
We attended church on Christmas Eve together, then came home to eat and open presents! The boys got so many really nice things. It was such a blessing to be here to see their expressions when they opened those things that they'd asked for, or dreamed about for this entire fall.
The Christmas break, winter break, what ever you call it, was quite a challenge in many respects. Everyone was home all the time, and there was no 'routine'...just a glimpse of summer time, perhaps I'll buy some chickens or rabbits to 'tend'...of course, I am kidding.
We were able to take most of our kids to an event called 'Winter Ramp 2011'. What an experience. 5,000 kids. Loud music. Challenging Messages. Lots of hugs. Many tears. Constant shouts of praise. Praised in the New Year. Not much sitting. After 2 full days of that, I felt every 'one' of my fifty years. But it was such an experience, that I would do it all again. Drawing near to the God of the Universe, watching our girls seek His face in prayer, and then encourage their friends in this ministry to do the same was an experience I won't soon forget, and neither will they! Each of the girls experienced God in a new and exciting way. Each was unique to them, and the circumstances they are in personally, but it was such a blessing for me to have been there to experience it with them. Truly special, these daughters of ours!
Which brings me to the next big event: the girl's 16th birthday is tomorrow! I have told their story so many times, they are sick of hearing it. But, let me just say one more time: these girls have been such a gift from God, their entire lives--even though there have been truly hard moments for us all, they are precious! They are so hilarious, and love to make each other crazy...but they are mostly tender hearted, and love to laugh...and that we are really good at doing! Just this week: Madison was helping the kitchen chore boys do dishes, she was wiping counters or something, they were about done, and the two boys picked her up, and sat her in the dish water...hilarious. Randy was washing the van, with some help, but before it was over, they were ALL wet...I'm considering a big floor drain in the kitchen, and installing a power washer in the wall in there, not sure that would meet state standards, but we could have some fun!
I'll write more later...the kids are back in school...the population of our home continues to change, and we all crave routine...Oh, and I am again being blessed to begin another semester at A.W. Tozer Theological Seminary, beginning tomorrow. Blessing to you for reading this, and remembering our family in prayer!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
It's a Christmas Play...Lovin' it!!!
You know they come every year, the annual Christmas play, concert or pageant. Each year, about this time, perhaps multiple performances or only one, at the director's discretion.
We attended a Christmas play/musical tonight called "Skipping Christmas." Tonight's version included the story of Jesus and how a baby can change your life...that baby, Baby Jesus, whom we cannot leave in the manger because He came to go to the Cross for us...to become Our Savior!
The first half was loosely based on a book written by John Grisham that later became a movie entitled "Christmas with the Krank's." That movie was released on Thanksgiving Day, 2004. I remember this because it was the first holiday season we were facing without Macy Jo and PaPa Bishop. We had purposed to have Thanksgiving be a simple affair, an "alike-but-different" approach. We had our 'non-traditional dinner' on Wednesday night. On the traditional day of Thanksgiving, we went to Carbondale, IL to Denny's, then to that movie with our entire family...just to laugh! And, laugh, we did--the whole day--from the comedy of the meal to the comedy of the movie...
That movie inspired me in many ways. First I was inspired to immediately form a plan for our family to host a Christmas Eve party that year. This plan would help me carry out the 'alike-but -different' approach I'd formulated as a constructive way to grieve through the holidays, yet stay involved and celebrate.
And, celebrate we did! We invited everyone we knew to stop by and visit throughout the evening on Christmas Eve that year...and many accepted our invitation! It was fun, and the planning and carrying out the party kept me very busy. Yet throughout the month of December, I still had quiet moments when the heaviness of grief would engulf me. I could weep alone or with my husband, or with our kids, but the dark clouds of grief never over took, they were kept at bay because we were intent on putting together a celebration.
Tonight, especially, I was reminded of one dear friend and her family that brought us a beautiful gift that night, from their hearts. They had worked together to make it. It was two pewter colored picture frames, a pewter ornament and a small name plate, all arranged on a red velvet-covered board. One of the frames had a poem entitled "Merry Christmas from Heaven"...the ornament had "I'm spending Christmas with Jesus this year" engraved on it...the other frame was a picture of Macy Jo in front of the Christmas tree the year before, dressed in her little red velvet dress with white trim, also wearing the matching red & white hat pulled down on her brow. And in exact Macy Jo fashion: looking very sassy! The name plate simply said 'Macy Jo Bishop'. It was lovely.
That first year was hard, yet the Joy of the Lord was our strength, having our friends around us helped underline the second thing I took from that movie: the idea of living in community with like minded Christians. We are not alone in this thing called life!
To this day, children's programs are especially hard for me to face, no matter the season. The word hard, as used there means that I cry during them and I worry whether I am being a distraction to those around me.
Like this evening, at Rock Bridge. I was fine watching "Skipping Christmas", laughing at the appropriate times, and enjoying the music...and then the little girls came out to dance. Little ones, like 3-6 year-olds each dressed in (you guessed it) red velvet dresses with white cuffs around their sleeves and hems. I cried and cried, and didn't care who I distracted...except, I looked at my dear, sweet husband, and he was crying with me...sometimes, you just have to give in and admit that you just miss 'em. You just do. And, it's OK to cry and it's OK to distract...it's OK.
Soon after those precious little ones exited the stage, it was time for what I would call the "tap-dancing grannies" to dance on to the stage. And, OH MY GOODNESS did that make my heart sing! They were so cute...lovely, each one, white haired, and tap dancing...most of them looked like my Grandma AnnaBelle, who just turned 89! So precious! And, I thought to myself, none of them are up there without having lived through some sort of pain in their lives, yet they are up there, living it up, enjoying the moment, enjoying the 'community' of dancing together and celebrating the season and dancing, truly, like 'no body's lookin'--except they were lookin' and lovin' it!
We attended a Christmas play/musical tonight called "Skipping Christmas." Tonight's version included the story of Jesus and how a baby can change your life...that baby, Baby Jesus, whom we cannot leave in the manger because He came to go to the Cross for us...to become Our Savior!
The first half was loosely based on a book written by John Grisham that later became a movie entitled "Christmas with the Krank's." That movie was released on Thanksgiving Day, 2004. I remember this because it was the first holiday season we were facing without Macy Jo and PaPa Bishop. We had purposed to have Thanksgiving be a simple affair, an "alike-but-different" approach. We had our 'non-traditional dinner' on Wednesday night. On the traditional day of Thanksgiving, we went to Carbondale, IL to Denny's, then to that movie with our entire family...just to laugh! And, laugh, we did--the whole day--from the comedy of the meal to the comedy of the movie...
That movie inspired me in many ways. First I was inspired to immediately form a plan for our family to host a Christmas Eve party that year. This plan would help me carry out the 'alike-but -different' approach I'd formulated as a constructive way to grieve through the holidays, yet stay involved and celebrate.
And, celebrate we did! We invited everyone we knew to stop by and visit throughout the evening on Christmas Eve that year...and many accepted our invitation! It was fun, and the planning and carrying out the party kept me very busy. Yet throughout the month of December, I still had quiet moments when the heaviness of grief would engulf me. I could weep alone or with my husband, or with our kids, but the dark clouds of grief never over took, they were kept at bay because we were intent on putting together a celebration.
Tonight, especially, I was reminded of one dear friend and her family that brought us a beautiful gift that night, from their hearts. They had worked together to make it. It was two pewter colored picture frames, a pewter ornament and a small name plate, all arranged on a red velvet-covered board. One of the frames had a poem entitled "Merry Christmas from Heaven"...the ornament had "I'm spending Christmas with Jesus this year" engraved on it...the other frame was a picture of Macy Jo in front of the Christmas tree the year before, dressed in her little red velvet dress with white trim, also wearing the matching red & white hat pulled down on her brow. And in exact Macy Jo fashion: looking very sassy! The name plate simply said 'Macy Jo Bishop'. It was lovely.
That first year was hard, yet the Joy of the Lord was our strength, having our friends around us helped underline the second thing I took from that movie: the idea of living in community with like minded Christians. We are not alone in this thing called life!
To this day, children's programs are especially hard for me to face, no matter the season. The word hard, as used there means that I cry during them and I worry whether I am being a distraction to those around me.
Like this evening, at Rock Bridge. I was fine watching "Skipping Christmas", laughing at the appropriate times, and enjoying the music...and then the little girls came out to dance. Little ones, like 3-6 year-olds each dressed in (you guessed it) red velvet dresses with white cuffs around their sleeves and hems. I cried and cried, and didn't care who I distracted...except, I looked at my dear, sweet husband, and he was crying with me...sometimes, you just have to give in and admit that you just miss 'em. You just do. And, it's OK to cry and it's OK to distract...it's OK.
Soon after those precious little ones exited the stage, it was time for what I would call the "tap-dancing grannies" to dance on to the stage. And, OH MY GOODNESS did that make my heart sing! They were so cute...lovely, each one, white haired, and tap dancing...most of them looked like my Grandma AnnaBelle, who just turned 89! So precious! And, I thought to myself, none of them are up there without having lived through some sort of pain in their lives, yet they are up there, living it up, enjoying the moment, enjoying the 'community' of dancing together and celebrating the season and dancing, truly, like 'no body's lookin'--except they were lookin' and lovin' it!
Happy Birthday, Mom!
Today is the anniversary of my mom's birth. She turned seventy today! How fun is that? I'm just thankful that this year, as she's in Florida, we are in the same time zone! My mom has loved me my whole life. I know this isn't unique for most of us, but for some of my 'new' acquiantences, that is a precious commoditity they know little about.
Mom prays for me and my family every single day, she encourages me when I'm down, or even when she thinks I might be 'down'...she's always insisted that I give it a try, or step out in faith, or trust in Jesus, no matter what. I've witnessed her strength over the years, her faith journey and her servant's heart. She serves and serves and serves, like there's no tomorrow...I am truly thankful for her example, and the way that she loves me and my family. Because she is sucha servant, she completely understands the role my family now plays in this ministry. She has taken on our boys in true prayer warrior fashion, keeping up with their names and unique details about them so that she can pray specifically for them each day!
She loves unconditionally, and trusts God with every fiber of her being. We've been through some really difficult days together, she, my sister and me...and we've remained very close, even though the miles seperate us, physically. I am proud to call her mom, and so truly blessed by her example! Thanks, mom, I love you so much.
Mom prays for me and my family every single day, she encourages me when I'm down, or even when she thinks I might be 'down'...she's always insisted that I give it a try, or step out in faith, or trust in Jesus, no matter what. I've witnessed her strength over the years, her faith journey and her servant's heart. She serves and serves and serves, like there's no tomorrow...I am truly thankful for her example, and the way that she loves me and my family. Because she is sucha servant, she completely understands the role my family now plays in this ministry. She has taken on our boys in true prayer warrior fashion, keeping up with their names and unique details about them so that she can pray specifically for them each day!
She loves unconditionally, and trusts God with every fiber of her being. We've been through some really difficult days together, she, my sister and me...and we've remained very close, even though the miles seperate us, physically. I am proud to call her mom, and so truly blessed by her example! Thanks, mom, I love you so much.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Coming A--part...
Yesterday, included in my "Mornings with Tozer" devotional," it says: Apart from the Scriptures we have no sure philosophy; apart from Jesus Christ we have no true knowledge of God; apart from the in-living Spirit we have no ability to live lives morally pleasing to God!--A.W. Tozer.
I was delighted last week, to find that there were a couple of 'new books' on the shelf of our local book store that were focused on Tozer, himself. That was fun to consider, as one was a compilation of his favorite writers that was supposed to have helped him in forming his theology, I think the words on the cover said something like "from his personal library." Those words made me smile--for many reasons.
This week has been a week of "growing" and "self-realizations" for me, as we came face to face with the reality of where we are--and the realization that the 'honey moon is over' so to speak. Holidays are a blessed time, surrounded with family, friends and food, and hopefully laughter.
The realization hit me during the moments before our meal on Thanksgiving Day. A meal that I had been planning for a month, and prepared for a couple of days. A meal that would include our five family members plus seven strangers... I use the term strangers loosely here because we know them, the know us, we are friends, but we are all unrelated to each other. I, of course, am talking about the boys that are in the care of this ministry, four of which live in our home.
The reality hit me right between the eyes when the 'newest' member of our home could not face the meal, choosing, instead to stay in his room, under the covers. The fact is: there have been holidays when the 'meal' was the most difficult part. Of course, these meals came during my adult years (the holidays after my parent's divorce, the Thanksgiving morning that my grandma Sisk died, the holidays after we lost Randy's parents and Macy, to name a few) and I did not stay in my bed..even though I wanted to. However, these boys faced this holiday with no one, except us--perhaps I was surprised more of them didn't want to take to their bed...
Because I've lived through painful holidays, I can relate. Not because I am super woman, but because the Scriptures (as Tozer reminds us above) are an important part of my life--a part that I cannot live without. You see, even in the most difficult places this life has takes us, because of who Jesus is to me, and because of the place scripture takes in my thought processes, I have peace that passes understanding, and the in-living Spirit is right there to guide and comfort me! I count this among one of the greatest gifts I have as a believer...
And, here I am, trying to encapsulate that knowledge, that peace, that path for the young men in our home that have little to no hope, little to no knowledge of God. How do I do that? How can I make them understand? How can I encourage them, and help them establish and come to a healthy hope and trust in an unseen God?
These are age old questions. These are age old problems. These are burning my thoughts and stirring the passion in me for the things of God. Like no other time in my life, I have to reconcile all this, and then formulate a plan...a new kind of normal. Why the urgency now, you may be asking, and what does this have to do with anything?
When we lost Macy, I had friends and family that were there to help in our darkest grief. Macy left because of an accident...no one had a choice in facing the reality of her going...it just happened. Our friends packed up and stored all her things within a few hours of her passing. I processed that grief and that loss in a way that surprised even me. But, I did not have to pack up her sippy cups, or her clothing, or her toys--someone else did that. I only had to face the rest of my life without her laughter and her smile and her gestures.
We find ourselves, again, experiencing the loss of a child, but in a different way. Two of the boys in our care chose to run away this past week end. I could write volumes about the event itself, but I will not share that here. What I will share is the great sadness that has washed over me...the feeling of complete and utter failure I have because they chose to leave our care. I cannot wrap my head around the fact that they chose to leave a warm home for a cold wet rainy night. Their choice has really nothing to do with me--I know this--but the loss is still the same. I was the one to pack all their belongings. It was me who prepared their room for the next boys that will be placed with us. I touched each of their earthly possessions and stored them away and wept for the loss.
In some strange way, I found myself comparing this present moment in time to that loss so long ago, and then to the loss of our nephew this past spring. Is that selfish? I do not know. Is that normal? I do not know. Is it real? YES. A resounding YES.
Coming apart, that is how I feel today. I know the One who can put me back together...the key, however, will be to allow Him to work in this situation and to watch as He unfolds His plan in each of these boy's lives. I am here to plant seeds, it is not up to me to reap the harvest, that will be for some one else, another time!
I take great comfort and feel encouraged concerning all this when I read John 18:1-11 and realize that Peter was not called to save& protect Jesus' life--he was called to spread God's word...perhaps that's my realization, as I come apart: I am not called to save the lives of these boys, just speak the word in to them! Pray that this will come about--with urgency! So that they, too, will be able to eventually live lives that are morally pleasing to God out of their own unique and sold-out love for Him. In the wait, I will probably weep more freely and openly...and constantly be 'ready-ing a room!'
I was delighted last week, to find that there were a couple of 'new books' on the shelf of our local book store that were focused on Tozer, himself. That was fun to consider, as one was a compilation of his favorite writers that was supposed to have helped him in forming his theology, I think the words on the cover said something like "from his personal library." Those words made me smile--for many reasons.
This week has been a week of "growing" and "self-realizations" for me, as we came face to face with the reality of where we are--and the realization that the 'honey moon is over' so to speak. Holidays are a blessed time, surrounded with family, friends and food, and hopefully laughter.
The realization hit me during the moments before our meal on Thanksgiving Day. A meal that I had been planning for a month, and prepared for a couple of days. A meal that would include our five family members plus seven strangers... I use the term strangers loosely here because we know them, the know us, we are friends, but we are all unrelated to each other. I, of course, am talking about the boys that are in the care of this ministry, four of which live in our home.
The reality hit me right between the eyes when the 'newest' member of our home could not face the meal, choosing, instead to stay in his room, under the covers. The fact is: there have been holidays when the 'meal' was the most difficult part. Of course, these meals came during my adult years (the holidays after my parent's divorce, the Thanksgiving morning that my grandma Sisk died, the holidays after we lost Randy's parents and Macy, to name a few) and I did not stay in my bed..even though I wanted to. However, these boys faced this holiday with no one, except us--perhaps I was surprised more of them didn't want to take to their bed...
Because I've lived through painful holidays, I can relate. Not because I am super woman, but because the Scriptures (as Tozer reminds us above) are an important part of my life--a part that I cannot live without. You see, even in the most difficult places this life has takes us, because of who Jesus is to me, and because of the place scripture takes in my thought processes, I have peace that passes understanding, and the in-living Spirit is right there to guide and comfort me! I count this among one of the greatest gifts I have as a believer...
And, here I am, trying to encapsulate that knowledge, that peace, that path for the young men in our home that have little to no hope, little to no knowledge of God. How do I do that? How can I make them understand? How can I encourage them, and help them establish and come to a healthy hope and trust in an unseen God?
These are age old questions. These are age old problems. These are burning my thoughts and stirring the passion in me for the things of God. Like no other time in my life, I have to reconcile all this, and then formulate a plan...a new kind of normal. Why the urgency now, you may be asking, and what does this have to do with anything?
When we lost Macy, I had friends and family that were there to help in our darkest grief. Macy left because of an accident...no one had a choice in facing the reality of her going...it just happened. Our friends packed up and stored all her things within a few hours of her passing. I processed that grief and that loss in a way that surprised even me. But, I did not have to pack up her sippy cups, or her clothing, or her toys--someone else did that. I only had to face the rest of my life without her laughter and her smile and her gestures.
We find ourselves, again, experiencing the loss of a child, but in a different way. Two of the boys in our care chose to run away this past week end. I could write volumes about the event itself, but I will not share that here. What I will share is the great sadness that has washed over me...the feeling of complete and utter failure I have because they chose to leave our care. I cannot wrap my head around the fact that they chose to leave a warm home for a cold wet rainy night. Their choice has really nothing to do with me--I know this--but the loss is still the same. I was the one to pack all their belongings. It was me who prepared their room for the next boys that will be placed with us. I touched each of their earthly possessions and stored them away and wept for the loss.
In some strange way, I found myself comparing this present moment in time to that loss so long ago, and then to the loss of our nephew this past spring. Is that selfish? I do not know. Is that normal? I do not know. Is it real? YES. A resounding YES.
Coming apart, that is how I feel today. I know the One who can put me back together...the key, however, will be to allow Him to work in this situation and to watch as He unfolds His plan in each of these boy's lives. I am here to plant seeds, it is not up to me to reap the harvest, that will be for some one else, another time!
I take great comfort and feel encouraged concerning all this when I read John 18:1-11 and realize that Peter was not called to save& protect Jesus' life--he was called to spread God's word...perhaps that's my realization, as I come apart: I am not called to save the lives of these boys, just speak the word in to them! Pray that this will come about--with urgency! So that they, too, will be able to eventually live lives that are morally pleasing to God out of their own unique and sold-out love for Him. In the wait, I will probably weep more freely and openly...and constantly be 'ready-ing a room!'
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