Good-Bye Grandma...I will Always LOVE YOU!

Today is the day that I have long anticipated.  Today, December 30, 2012, my Grandma AnnaBelle Griswold’s faith became sight.  I am reminded, as I contemplate her life, of her faith.  Her faith was strong in the worst of times, and in the best of times.  She loved her church—the relationships with God’s people and the preaching she loved to hear each week.  I can remember in the early 1970’s when she got her first “Living Bible,” for when she would read it, she would relate that “it made the whole Old Testament seem like reading a lovely story book!”—I can actually still here those words in her voice. 

Grandma was the one person in the world that I always knew loved me.  There was never a doubt, for we had a bond that transcended miles and time.  We always spoke quite frankly to each other—I truly could ask her anything and she would give me an honest and from the heart answer.  I have described her many times in other posts; however, I cannot do justice to her memory here, for it isn’t formal reporting, so much as me randomly writing memories down.

Mostly what I would like to say today is that because I love her so very much, there will now be a time of grief.  The thing is, up until we lost Macy Jo, I could not picture my life without grandma’s influence.    When Macy’s accident happened Grandma & Grandpa came and spent the bigger part of a month with my family and me.    During those first days without Macy, I came to a realization that I could still breathe in and out without her.  As I reasoned and thought through all of those emotions, I reasoned that at some point, others whom mean so very much to me will one day die…

I came to a conclusion, since I was still breathing without our little daughter, that God would not allow anyone to be taken from this earthly life through death that I could not ‘live without’… even though the living looks different, or painful for a time—but not impossible—for the joy of the Lord is my strength, (Nehemiah 8:10) and “I lift my eyes to the hills, from where does my help come—My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth!” (Psalm 121)          

I wrote many journals and little essays during the darkest days following Macy’s accident.  A couple of years later, as my grandpa’s health declined, I began a grief journal because I knew it wouldn’t be long before ‘Grand-dad went away’—Grandma’s words the day she called to tell me that he had passed.  Today it was the voice of my sweet aunt calling to tell me of Grandma’s death this morning. 

I praise God for her life, for blessing her so richly while she was here, for the example of her life, wisdom and faith that she so easily shared with me throughout my entire life.  She had recently celebrated her ninetieth birthday—a good, long life.  Her love for her family was always evident—for her brothers, sisters, their spouses and children, her own children and grandchildren—she always liked ‘having her bunch around her’—that love she had for her family was inspiring.  The love she and my grandpa shared as a married couple was also inspiring.  They were married for a little over sixty-eight years—truly a sweet love story. 

And so for today, I am sad that this day has come, but I know where Grandma is—and I praise God for that assurance!  I love considering the HUGE family reunion she is enjoying tonight in Heaven—sing with me:  I Can Only Imagine! 

 

Unpredictable--Childbirth and Weather!

Beautiful, just beautiful.  Yes, the view this morning outside our windows--breathtakingly beautiful.  There is gorgeous snow covering everything.  It looks to be about five inches deep at this point and it is still falling!

Christmas 'day' is finished.  The Christmas Story has been read and enjoyed and contemplated and discussed.  Gifts have been given and received. Christmases 'past' have been remembered, and either laughed about, or cried over.  The food has been prepared and consumed.  Christmas movies have been watched. Christmas music and decorations have been thoroughly enjoyed this season.  The winter storm advisory says we should not travel today, for the storm will continue through this evening.  This gives a perfect opportunity to take down the decorations, put away the 'new' stuff, and catch up on our laundry--and stay in side the house. 

Before daylight this morning, I saw flashes of lightening.  Really?  They apparently have lightening during a snow storms in Indiana!  Certainly the word unpredictable could be used to describe this kind of weather--and simultaneously wonder if rain and ice would soon accompany the falling snow.  I only consult the weather channel if I'm planning a trip, or an outdoor activity--always keeping in mind that there is an element of risk in trusting any forecast--for weather is unpredictable. 

The changing seasons are a wonder to consider and behold, as part of nature, or creation.  The changing, and unpredictability of the weather gives opportunity to be afraid.  Afraid of power outages or frozen pipes, destruction of property, or loss of life.  Think about hurricanes Sandy or Katrina, or the tornadoes that take devastated Joplin, MO or Harrisburg, IL or other city blocks, and entire small towns.  (Just this morning, we hear about tornadoes in Mobile, AL)  This time of year I am reminded of the winter of 2004 that brought a tsunami to the other side of the world, killing thousands and destroying entire communities. 

The changing, and unpredictability of the weather that accompanies these seasons gives many opportunities to be in awe. A place of awe in the midst of a thunder storm, a blizzard, even a hurricane must be cultivated. Cultivating this awe must be done purposefully, for it is a sign of living a life of worship--one that worships Mighty God, the Creator, the God of the Universe.
 
We know from Scripture that all of creation, this includes weather and climate changes, was affected by the fall of mankind in to sin. (go read Genesis 3) 

The writer of the book of Romans shares, "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.  The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed.  For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of he one who subjected it, in hope, that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.  We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time."  (Rom 8:18-22)

As a mom, groanings are not uncommon during child birth.  (and--neither were strong verbal outbursts vowing 'never to do 'this' again'...if memory serves me)  Think about comparing that experience to creation, as it groans in its frustration. It was subjected to decay relating that to nature, and reactions , the comparison to creation being subjected to frustration, and its need to be liberated from decay...groaning. When we consider that severe weather is an outward sign of the frustration of creation-seeking to liberate itself from the bondage of decay, it is no longer a thing to fear but to behold.

Do not misunderstand, I am not making light of natural disasters, or trying to explain them away. I am saying, however, that they offer a place where we can see the majesty of God, and discover a place where His power is displayed.  This display comes, many times, in the stories during the aftermath. Nothing escapes His gaze and in every circumstance there is a way to bring glory & honor to Him who created us.  We must be purposeful in our quest to seek Him in these events. 

Imagine the stories that are not recorded but probably were told from first hand accounts of a boat ride with Jesus (the Reason for the Season we are in the midst of celebrating)  during a terrifying squall...

This is what was recorded, though, "As they sailed, he (Jesus) fell asleep.  A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger.  The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Master, Master, we're going to drown!"  He go up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm."  (Luke 8:23-24)

Knowing that God is in control, for Jesus calmed the storm, makes me want to worship Him more, giving Him praise for the beauty to be seen in the calm waters--or a gorgeous winter snow cover...even in blizzard conditions.  Seeing the lightening during a snow storm this morning brought  many questions--we can't know 'why? or what it all means?' 

We can know, however, that God is ever in control, He sees the beginning from the end, for He is the Ancient of Days.  This is not the Garden of Eden, so weather is going to be a part of our human experience on earth.

Enjoy the colors of winter, the shades of brown, grey and white just as much as the color bursts of spring--just try it!  And, Praise God for the weather's unpredictability--for that is one more opportunity to trust a Mighty God!

"Jesus was in total harmony with nature, and I am of the opinion that the deeper our Christian commitment becomes, the more likely we will find ourselves in tune and in harmony with the natural world around us!"--A.W. Tozer

It is Grey and then, Just Like THAT!

I can hear the wind blowing around the eaves of our home, and I can see the grey clouds covering the sky.  My view consists of shades of brown, lighter greens and grey--it looks really cold out there, and it sounds even colder. 

For the first time this week, this view matches many of the emotions I have as I have watched the news and listened to the stories concerning the tragedy in Newtown, CT, last Friday.  Once again, our country is faced with overwhelming grief.  Grief that touches all walks of life, for almost everyone has 'lost' someone they love.  What makes this event so much more tragic is that these are little children--innocent...some one's little lovey--or big sister--or sweet grand baby--or source of great hugs and giggles.  These were precious children, celebrated and loved by the ones who knew them best.  Now, they are celebrated by the population of the world through their stories and the pictures of their little faces that come to us through the media. 

My heart breaks for the ones left to grieve.  At the same time I cannot help but consider the side stories that culminate in this event.  Side stories that debate gun control and gun rights issues--or stories that give security gurus a place to share. Yes, guns in the hands of mentally unbalanced people is not a wise place of our society to place itself.

It is no surprise, however, mankind has been killing senselessly for thousands of years. In this, I am reminded of an ancient mad man, King Herod. For when this King realized that the wise men from the east had come to worship the King of Kings, new born baby, Jesus, he was 'disturbed.'  He eventually gave orders "to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under." And, in that moment the words of  the prophet Jeremiah were fulfilled: "A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more." (this story is found in Mt 2)  --as long as people are 'disturbed'--there will continue to be killings that make no sense.

We weep with the community of Newtown, we mourn for the lives that were taken so brutally during this season.  Great mourning and weeping and a refusal to be comforted....because these children are no more. They are no more, here on this earth, but I think I know of a little girl that most likely helped settle them in to Heaven. 

There are those that will debate the mental health issues that our society faces.  In our fractured system, no one will win in that debate.  Medical doctors and psychiatrists are not the ones that actually diagnose and practice medicine--for ultimately, health care, especially mental health care, is a money game.  Unfortunately for our society, the ones making the treatment decisions are the insurance companies and their underwriters...who, I do not believe for one second have invested the time or intellect to medical school. 

It is easy for young people--especially 18-25 year olds to get lost in this system--especially the young people that have been housed, fed and clothed by governmental agencies for most of their lives.  THIS breaks my heart.  The current system is broken because it comes from the minds of men...very intelligent people, but perhaps have been somewhat short-sighted in thinking about the effects of their decisions on future generations--especially the decisions to do away with institutions that dealt directly with the mentally challenged in our land. 

I have written about grief in previous blog posts, speaking from my perspective and experience.  Many times when I have spoken of grief, and the comfort I have received from God's presence, those words are met with disbelief.  It is hard to imagine facing grief without it, but the reality is:  people do it every day--needlessly. 

What a season we have to enjoy those we love, remember those we have sent on to Heaven-but mostly, and do not miss this:  to enjoy the sweet presence of God. There is nothing like it, for this is where peace that surpasses understanding is found and enjoyed.  Learn to savor it, to treasure it and to seek it--prepare now, so that when you do face those darkest days of grief--or grey cold winter of the soul--you can do it with joy and peace. 

I do not wish to walk this journey of life, if His presence does not go with me.  I hope that makes sense.  God's presence, the assurance of Hope we have in Him, enable us to live a joyful life--notice I did not say 'happy' life--for happiness is a good thing, but it does not last--it is fleeting and circumstantial.  The joy of the Lord is our strength--remember? (Nehemiah 8:10)

I do not want to face any journey of grief, if God's presence is not available there--just as Moses did not want to go in to the 'Promised Land-or even the journey to get there' without God's presence.  The longest journey through grief I have ever known was in grieving our child, and each time a child dies, I remember all too well, the ache in my heart--in my arms and in my soul--for what had been, what could have been, and for what would never be, while on this earth. 

At the exact same moment, though, I am overwhelmed by this presence of God, that reassuringly calms my soul, and eases the aches in my arms.   It's like thinking about the grey colors of the sky outside our window, yet knowing and taking comfort in the fact that 'just above' the cloud  cover is a gorgeous blue sky that includes the wonder of the sunshine in the day, and star light by night!  In the midst of pain and suffering there is a place of calm and peace--truly--but seeking it must be purposeful and steady--for there are many distractions when we grieve. 

Mostly, there is a temptation to become fearful of everything...and everything--from the phone to the mail box...even a fear of setting the table, or doing the laundry.  The beginning of this kind of fear begins from believing some lie.  So, as we grieve, be careful to know the Truth, and keep yourself from believing lies.  Do not be fearful.  When you are fearful, you are not Trusting...so replace that fear with the Truth that you can find in Scripture, or from the words of a faithful friend.  Test everything, if there is trace of a lie--put it aside. For, I know this to be true, in the darkest moments in life--God is faithful...His presence is sweet--when nothing else brings comfort, calms our fears, wipes our tears, or gives us hope.

And, just like THAT, color has appeared in my view--a gorgeous male cardinal and a very proud male blue jay have appeared on our fence--to make me smile and know that I just need to 'be still--and know that God, is God!' 

Marsha OR Greg?--either way, it turned out OK

It's here!  The day I have been anticipating for the past fifteen weeks!  December 14th signals the end of my fall semester for school.  All the work has been turned in, and I feel better equipped for life and that 'thing' I'm preparing to do!

I made new friends of the authors I was blessed to have been assigned to read.  Their wisdom and stamina astound me, and I am so thankful I was pointed to their work!  The time I spent on campus was spent rekindling friendships, and forming new ones, with fellow students--really from all over the US!  I am truly thankful for this season of education in my life--I am learning to cherish the opportunity and take this gift I have been given, very seriously.

I look forward to the three coming weeks for many reasons.  This is the seasons when I begin receiving my text books through the mail--that makes each day so much fun!  This is also the season that I promised my self--but especially Randy--that I would finish unpacking our home.  Of course, this part of the unpacking will bring floods of memories, and a down pouring(s) of emotions, as this is the 'memorabila' portion of our belongings...

Over the next couple of days, however, there will be Christmas presents to wrap, and a couple of special presents to purchase.  Menus to plan, and I get to advise on the planning of a birthday gathering for the twins!

Traditionally, the week between Christmas and the New Year has been my 'nesting' time--I set goals for the coming year, plan our budget numbers, Randy begins to fashion a plan for vacation...and I formulate a diet plan. And, if you know me...you know that the last element of that sentence really doesn't make one bit of sense!  For unfortunately, my diet plan usually gets tossed by January 2. And, so this year, I have already begun to practice that grand plan, for three weeks now.  --I intend to strive to be healthy...but this post isn't about that!

Actually, come to think of it, I'm still not certain what this post IS about--except to tell who ever chooses to read this that I am tickled pink to be able to sit here, watching Morning Joe, with a hot cup of coffee, and I do not have to worry about heading out to our little library to research and write for a grade, today!

Randy and I have been watching Christmas movies-one per night--since the beginning of December.  This is so fun for us...we either laugh til we cry, or we sit and wipe tears in the "Hallmark" ones is this...cheesy?  Maybe--but he works hard every day, we exercise after he gets off work...and by the time the movie comes on, I am in need of a 'break'!  We consider "Christmas Vacation" as our favorite...of course my last name used to be Griswold...which is hilarious...'Clark'--no version of him was my dad, though! 

I remembered something funny this week.  One of my friends posted 'younger years' pictures of me recently.  My name is Marsha.  She said, "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha"...of course, you know where this comes from--yes, The Brady Bunch from the early 1970's.  Of course, I have heard this for years--I just wish I would have been as gorgeous and cool as Marcia, on that show!

Here's what I remembered, though:  My mom once told me that if I had been a 'boy baby' my name would have been Gregory Alan Griswold.  Yes, my initials would have spelled "G.A.G." for my whole life (of course, there are those that may have formulated that opinion with or without those initials for my identity) --But, I still would have been 'cool' enough to have been identified with The Brady Bunch  family names...thanks, mom!

Well, now it's time to start the day...I'm excited to see what happens on this day--this day I have looked SO forward to--it's going to be amazing!--

I'll Ask You, if No One Else Will...

Tomorrow, December 4, is going to be great day, I can tell you already! 

First, it will be my mom's birthday:  Happy Birthday, Mom! You are the best, I love that you are my mom, I shudder to think where I would be today if you were not such an example of faith and endurance for me and my family.  I love you.  May God richly Bless Your Day!

Second, I get to have dinner withsome dear friends tomorrow evening--it is going to be fun to reconnect.

Third, (and almost as important and ultimately responsible for the content of this post) I get to talk to a group of young moms of pre-school age children.  This is going to be so much fun!   

As I was preparing today, and in light of recent conversations with our girls (remember there are four of them), a fragment of a Bible verse kept creeping in to my thoughts--but I could not locate it in either I or II Samuel.

King David, who was a shepherd and a warrior, was also a dad.  Remember, he had many wives, so his life--if you are interested--sheds perspective on that 'blended family' thing.  Usually his example is completely inspiring--except this would be stretching a bit if we were to examine his parenting skills.  Lacking, could be an adjective to describe them--with at least some of his children.  Even in spite of that reality, he was called a man after God's own heart!--So, there must be lessons there--sometimes we just have to dig to find them.

If you remember--he not only had many wives, he had many children of varying ages and stages in his old age.  Rape, incest, murder, adultery...it is all there, recorded in I and II Samuel.

(Probably one of the most touching for me, because I have grieved the loss of a child, is the fact that he lost several of his children before he died.  Each time he encountered grief, we find him with torn clothes, face down before the Lord.  There are times when we grieve that we can do nothing else.  The pain is paralyzing, and just going to the feet of our Lord brings comfort, and perspective.)

I could not find the verse I was thinking of in I or II Samuel, because it is not there!  No, the event I was looking for that yielded the priceless insight for parenting, happened just before King David died. This story is written in the first chapter of I Kings.

You see, one of his sons, Adonijah, whose mother was Haggith, (we don't see these names on birth announcements much, so we?!) had pretty much crowned himself king  of Israel.  The reason that Adonijah put himself forward, and got chariots and horses ready is because "His father had never interfered with him by asking, "Why do you behave as you do?"  He was also very handsome and was born next after Absalom"  Remember?  Absalom has just died, while also making his 'run' for the throne. 

The point I'm making is this, do we ever interfere in a healthy way with our kids and ask our adult children, "Why do you behave as you do?"

Just wondering.  It seems to me that if Christian parents would interfere and ask that question, and not freak out at the answer they may receive, the world would be so much better off. 

My heart breaks when I see young people use each other up and toss each other aside--without the benefit of marriage.  These 'unions' bring about all kinds of repercussions for later years.  I have lived long enough to see much trouble, and many results from bad choices.

Consequences for choices are very real.  And, consider with me:  how much pain and suffering could be eliminated  if parents (who are definitely older than their children, thereby possess more life experience that lends itself to valuable insight to life) would stop saying things like "Oh, they are just young--they are trying to express themselves-every one of their friends is doing this."

And start saying: "No matter what you do, I'm going to love you --but could you just tell me, why do you behave, (act, make these decisions) as you do?  Why?"  And then, truly listen, offer correction with gentleness and respect.  Tell them your failure stories, not in a self-righteous way, but in a way that you explain where you went wrong, and then encourage them not to follow the same lead--but to look for something better.

Young adults:  start edifying each other; stop using each other. If you are reading this, and you don't have a parent that will ask you, then I'll ask you:  "Why do you behave as you do?" 

This weighs heavy on my heart.  It seems as though  you do not value this amazing gift you have that is your life...you do not seem to take your life very seriously--for relationships take much work, much commitment--they are so much more than sex and convenience.

Yes, I speak from many years of being married to the same man for almost 32 years.  Believe me when I say that it has not always been easy, in fact some of those years, Randy & I have been through, for lack of a better term:  Hell and back.  It is so worth the commitment, the investment, the time we have wept together--out of pain and in the midst of complete joy.  He is the sweetest man, but if we had not gone through the really really 'bad' stuff, we would never have found this newer, better, more intimate place we now enjoy in our marriage. You are not going to find that in your older years without commitment in your younger years, because that kind of intimacy takes years to cultivate--it doesn't happen just because you move in together...or like having babies or getting puppies together...

Go ahead, ask this question of your kids, grand kids, cousins, nieces and nephews...it is important...King David, apparently didn't ever ask it, had he, perhaps his children would have had different lives--just sayin'. 

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, Really?

Yes, that is somewhat true.  Of course, it's all perspective, isn't it really?  I love this time of year, because we don't have to have an 'excuse' to watch our favorite Christmas movies--and laugh out loud, or unashamedly wipe tears away--like it's  the first time we've ever seen it!  The extra opportunity to shop is fun, too--there's always secrets and surprises, and bargains to be found...and that 'one' special thing that 'they' will love!

The house looks some how a little friendlier this time of year, as well...with the tree up, and lit--almost 24/7...wrapping paper and ribbon are strewn throughout, because every body needs to 'wrap some gift'...all this preparation....all this anticipation...all the laughter and the places to go and the things to see, or do...it is wonderful, isn't it?

It's easy to get caught up in it all, and every year, we vow we won't let the true meaning of Christmas get lost in it all...and what, just what does that look like?  As I write this, I'm trying to be all serious, and Holly & Randy are singing at the top of their lungs--hilarious!  The twins are wrapping presents, and planning their clothing choices, homework and other activities for the week.  So, just how serious do I need to be?  I think we are supposed to enjoy the season, make a real effort to 'give' this season and extend grace, love and fellowship to those we come in contact with--all the while be truly thankful for the fact that our Savior was Born--such a long time ago--but that is the reason we celebrate, for in Him we can be reconciled to God, the Creator--we can be reconciled in love to others because of the love the love of Christ.  Reconciliation.  That is  our message this season.  Merry Christmas. Celebrate.  Be Thankful. 

What do you want for Christmas?

This question was posed by a friend today on Face Book...as expected, there was a variety of answers.  My answer comes directly from life experience from this year for my family and me...here you go...try to stay with me, for if you have a weak stomach you might want to turn back! 

• I would like the elected officials in our Nation's capital to work together--truly putting their labels of 'democrat or republican or independent' aside, join forces and work (the inevitable fiscal cliff, health care, jobs/earnings, the economy, energy, farm bills, disaster relief and getting our troops back home, and other issues that I probably know nothing about but need to be dealt with--all the things that concern the people that they supposedly went in to office to serve) that's right:  Christmas is coming, but you signed up for this job, stay in Washington and actually WORK--that would make my season merry & bright, the our elected officials were taking their job seriously.

• I would like to see people to make a determined effort to value one another again as human beings.  Just be nice, because it is the right thing to do.  This time of year, especially, this time of year, people are 'out' --just be courteous, take your time--notice the person that needs a smile or a helping hand.  Whether you are in the stores, places to eat or entertainment venues--just be NICE-say please and thank you and excuse me, at the appropriate times.  (My family and I recently ate in a fairly nice place--'nice' became a relative term, as our meal was interrupted:  a guy across the room from us could not stop loudly ordering the waiters around OR the bodily noises...gross?  You bet.  Not once did he act like he was in public.  What happened to decorum?  What happened to embarrassment?) 

• I would like to have a Christmas season where every public 'women's' rest room I enter is immaculate and well stocked with toilet paper and seat protectors...not 'ikky'...and disgusting!  You know who you are girls:  clean up after yourself--your mom is not stopping by to clean up for you--and it makes the rest of us sick...clean it UP!

           So. Probably not the list that my friend was searching for--but there's more:  I want to be truly thankful...for everything.  That is going to take a lot of work.  But, I know who to thank, and I know how important that is! 

•  God has blessed our family with a good job for Randy, a new home, school for me and school for the twins and homework for me and the twins.  We have found a church to call home--truly a great place to worship and get involved.  God continues to give us friends, and lots of laughter...and time. 
• Time is precious.  I am able to skype with my mom throughout the week.  And, we are able to listen to and enjoy the laughter and little voices of our three grand babies!  We have already attended not just one, but two Christmas parades with them in tow this season!  Celebrating birthdays together this 'birthday season' (for that is what it is in this family, it runs from August 1 to January 20!) has been so much fun...only four more and then we have a break for a few months!  
• We are able to be together in the evenings, after we work out.  God is good--providing everything we need to have a meaningful and purposeful life.  
• By being thankful, that lends itself well to seeking to bring glory and honor to God for He is worthy of our praise...He knew exactly what we needed in our human condition--and He gave it to us--we needed a Savior--and He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, Our God and King!  Hallelujah and All Praise to Him--forever and ever! 

What's on YOUR Christmas list?





 

Take Time to Enjoy The View

Returning home after being at my school for the past two weeks is a good thing.  I think it will take a few days to get settle back in to my home routine.  The girls were forced to take ownership of their morning and afternoon routine while I was away--it's about time, some would say.  However, I am here and I love to help them, because I know that there will be a day in the not-too-distant-future that the only lunches I pack in the morning will be mine & Randy's.

I wrote about my long trip out to California, in my previous post.  I did not write while there, for there was not time.  I'm not certain there is time this morning, but I'm 'squeezing it in'!  My journey home from Northern Illinois yesterday astonished me.  I was not expecting to see the breath taking color and beauty that I encountered as I drove.  The leaves had turned, and there has been just enough rain to force the grass to be a lush bold color of green--the sky was overcast with gorgeous shades of grey and white--huge clouds that filtered the sun light, putting such a combination of shadows and bright light in the right places.  Almost the entire 4.5 hours was spent marveling at how the colors beautifully complemented one another. 

That in the midst of listening to a 'radio-sermon' about what a chaotic world we live in!  And the thing is, he was preaching from the book of Judges--and speaking about how chaotic it was, even in those days.  I do no think it was a coincidence that this preacher was speaking of leaders from the book of Judges, and I just finished my intensive week of Catalytic Leadership class.  The hilarity of God's provision never ceases to WOW me.  As I contemplated the clouds, and the chaotic state of affairs in our world and I considered leadership --I was reminded of God's Sovereignty once more.  For, even when we cannot see what He's doing (those grey overcast), He is at work--writing His story in our lives.  Jeremy Camp sings in one of his songs, these words--'like a story book with dreams that are meant to see.'  That is the best description of what I felt as I drove through such beauty, like driving through a dream, or story book for no camera or paint brush could have captured it.

God is continually unfolding the next part to our lives.  Always, there is an element of 'trouble', for we were promised by King Jesus that in this world we would have it...but in spite of the trouble, or through the trouble, or because of the trouble, His goodness, His purposes and His glory prevail. 

In the midst of all the grey overtones, yesterday, the sun still shined through to show off the brilliant colors contained in the landscape, which seemed to whisper,
welcome home Marsha --see there are trees in Illinois
--enjoy the view and the journey
--but remember to take time to
Be Still and Know that I am God!

Travel and Trying Not to Smell Like Smoke

I love to travel.  In such a way that I feel is normal, where there's a plan, or at least a plan not to have a plan.  Beginning yesterday at noon, I began traveling for my destination at school.  From my home in southwestern Indiana, to Redding California, where I will spend two weeks in class.

Yesterday was a driving portion to northern Illinois, in order to catch a flight in Chicago, Midway. (I know, I know, but the 'price of the flight' lured me in.)  So, my flight was scheduled and 'on time' for 6:00am.  This put me at the air port at 4am, in order to navigate security, in a timely manner.  And, in case you are curious, the answer is yes, there were many people in line in security checks at that time of morning.

At 5:15 we were told that our flight would be delayed, we just were not certain about how long.  We boarded the plane at about 6:40 for a 7:05 take off...only to De-plane at 6:50, and given a new departure time of noon and many apologies, 'Rick the manager' was outstanding under this stress, by the way. 

However, we were instructed to 'wait it out' if we could, which I did, incorrectly thinking I could get a quick connect at Denver.  And, so, I am sitting in the Denver Airport, waiting, again for about six hours until I can catch a flight to Sacramento.  Then, the last 'driving leg of my trip'--that I had so wonderfully planned to have taken place before noon today--will, in fact take place between the hours of 9-11 tonight.  Oh, joy.  Oh, joy.  OH, JOY! 

And, so, with travel and meal vouchers in my hand, and a brand new boarding pass with a different air line, I approached a real sit down restaurant for dinner, to sit quietly, and think and enjoy my first real food of the day.  I checked on my car rental, they'll hold it for me, and I called my husband...those are pretty important.  I also communicated with a couple of classmates at my destination, about my late arrival. 

As I was finishing my dinner, I thought about how very tired I feel, and no one is here with me that I love...and poor me, and on and on and on... Of course, the temptation is really there:  I'll never see any of these people that I am looking at again in this lifetime...but they certainly may remember the grouchy lady!  (I know I'll not soon forget the guy that made a really bad comment to one of the workers today and had security called on him!)

You see, I have been studying the book of Daniel recently, and it always strikes me how his friends came through the fiery furnace without smelling like smoke. Consequently, every time, I vow that I will do my best in trials and hard circumstances not to smell like smoke, as I face it, or after I'm through it, Lord willing! 

However, all my poor me's wreaked of smoke--the worst smelling kind....from the pit of self-indulgence.  Because, the secret to not having the stench of smoke on you from the 'things that happen in your life', is for it not to show on your face, or in your speech, or in your demeanor.  So the rest of my trip, I will purpose to smile.  Smile because of who lives inside me....and look at the blessing of the gorgeous Denver sky and the beautiful mountain view I had flying 'in'...and the week ahead, reconnecting with the new friends I've made over the past year.  And, most of all, focusing on all the information and blessing God has in store for me because of this course of study that I am pursuing!  I am excited.  I am really tired, but even in my tiredness, I can have a good attitude.  And, not stink like smoke!

A Lesson from a Bull Frog

Last night I got to attend the monthly meeting of the DIVAS team for Ladies' Day at Oil Belt.  My attending was a secret, a surprise to them, for I had not been with them in over a year.  It was interesting to witness them share ideas, listen to each other, talk about the happenings in their lives.  Oh, how I've missed them!  Mary is doing a great job of keeping it together, and they have added some new faces to their team!  April 20, 2013 is the next 'day'--and the plans look promising! 

A bonus to attending this meeting for me was some driving time alone.  I didn't realize how much I needed that time, until I was pulling away from my town!  Third Day blaring Lift Up Your Face from my CD player, and the top of the convertible down...good good for my soul.

I had scheduled a maintenance appointment for my car that was 'on the way' to my meeting, it made perfect sense at the time.  I got within a 1/2 mile from that appointment, and a huge down pour of rain just happened!  Needless to say, I was drenched and so was the inside of my car.  It was the longest sixty-seconds of my life--as I pushed the magic button that allows the top of my car to come back up.  I had to laugh...it was just funny, and cold. 

As I waited for my car to be serviced, my clothes air-dried and I was able to continue reading my last book before my class.  I looked like I had just gotten out of the shower and put on my clothes.  Thankfully, my daughter helped me out, and put me back together.  In reality, being put back together didn't seem to matter much, the DIVAS were just glad to see me, the car was maintained and it's a funny story. 

The drive home was interesting and late at night, it was about 70 minutes, pouring rain--with the top of my car firmly in place.  The display of lightening was breath taking, and it was a bonus to have the sky light up the otherwise dark landscape.  At one point, on the dark highway, a huge bull frog jumped across my car's path.  This just made me laugh, without a care in the world, legs stretched long and strong, hopping all the way across the highway.  And I got to see it. 

And, if you are still reading this post, you have undoubtedly decided that I have lost my mind--thanks for staying with me here, as I do have  a point. 

This is how we are when we trust our life to the Living God, the Creator of the Universe.  There are storms all around us, all the time.  John 16:33 pretty much guarantees this fact.  But in the midst of those/these storms, we can stretch our legs, reach to the heavens and have complete peace knowing without a shadow of a doubt that no matter how dark the skies, no matter how hard the rain, or how fierce the wind and the lightening--Our God is an ever present help in these times.  He has this, and nothing, nothing escapes His gaze!  Praise Him for that, and be still and know, know that He is God. 

It's actually exciting to think about.  To me, that bull frog jumping across the highway in the darkness of the night, and the crazy storm going on all around him is a perfect picture of freedom in Christ.  We are free from worry, free to act, move, breathe, love, weep, mourn, praise, pray, encourage--just free to be human!  Celebrate that--and enjoy these rainy days, for they are gorgeous!

9-egg Noodles & Pie Crust, Really?

I had so much fun yesterday--just being in the moment.  I didn't really have to participate much, just observe and rock baby Anna, or collect Ally the "Princess Clown" (It's the letter C week at her pre-school, so she dressed as a clown with hot-pink sparkly hair--can you say adorable!?) from pre-school.  But, oh the fun!

My mom drove to my oldest daughter's home to 'teach her to cook' for the day.  I don't remember how it happened, I don't really think I was invited to be there--perhaps I invited myself.  Alayna is no stranger to cooking--she worked in food service for a number of years.  However, mom had her noodle recipe to share, and Alayna was willing to learn. 

While they were elbow-deep in flour and eggs and chicken parts, I got to take Anna to the porch to enjoy the most wonderful day.  She loves outside and with the temperature at 70 degrees, a gentle breeze blowing and the sun shining, she went right to sleep. 

As it were, I don't know all the things that mom and Alayna cooked up, but among the recipes were pie crust, 9-egg noodles, and cookies.  The noodles were going to become 'chicken and noodles'...and the pies were going to become chocolate or coconut cream...  Alayna took lots of notes, and I wrote down a couple of the recipes that mom had brought--one of which was her cheese cake that she made for holidays! 

Holidays are coming--sooner than I realize--so we'll be ready.  We'll have our recipes in hand and on the kitchen counter to guide us through making all our favorites from mom's house.  And, if we flub up, we'll have the cell phones on stand by to call her quickly for wise counsel! 

There was a moment yesterday in Alayna's kitchen, when my mom was standing with one of her daughters, two of her granddaughters and her two great-granddaughters...four generations standing/sitting/crawling (Anna is only 9months old!) in the same room, at the same time, it just doesn't get much sweeter.  For in that moment, my turns to me and says,"I'm so glad you are now close enough that you can enjoy each other like this!"...Me too mom...me too!

My New 'Mashed Potato' Bowl!

This week I was honored by a surprise visit from my parents.  They live about two hours away, and to my delight they called early one morning to say they were headed 'our direction'...This is funny for me to consider this morning, because a few weeks ago, as I was literally calling my mom to tell her I was on my way to spend the night at her house, she was leaving me a voice mail saying that they had decided that morning to drive to Florida for a couple of weeks!  Love that!
I love it that they are enjoying their retirement!  They have worked really hard their whole lives--so being able to do what they enjoy, when ever they want to is good!  I also love it that their faith is strong, and they serve in their churches (the one near their home in So. IL & the one they attend in FL)

And so, after they arrived, we drove a little over an hour to Clay City Pottery, in Clay City, Indiana.  I love pottery, and so do they!  They serve a lot of meals to their friends, and they use pieces of it to set their table and serve their guests.  Mom is all about setting a pretty table--I love that about her, and I think I got some of that desire to set a pretty table and the talent to put it together.

The pottery place was  a series of barns, with gorgeous pieces available--from pieces of 'red' to use outside to salt and pepper shakers!  The 'red room' also had all sorts of flower pots/saucers.  There was a 'seconds room' where you could purchase 'seconds'.  Their seconds have little imperfections that do not affect the use of the item.  In the main room each shelf was arranged by color and design.  Also in this room was a display of the pottery pieces they had made throughout their history--which reached all the way back to the 1800's! 

Back to our table...it is important that you use your dishes...honor your family with those...I know that in 2012, we are tempted to 'stand over the sink to eat'--or 'use paper plates so we don't have to do dishes.'  (by the way, there are times to definitely use paper plates, just so you know that I do use them)  I think the time you spend around the table should be considered an important event in the life of your family.

This was one of the difficult things I faced when we were houseparents.  It wasn't 'anyone's fault', just the nature of the beast, as it were.  The boys in our home were not used to sitting at a table, or using manners...and, conversation was pretty much limited to 'gross' topics!  So, we all had a LOT of adjusting to do!  In the end, they did much better than when we first began, but they did learn to use real dishes...not paper plates!  I don't know, I suppose this sound trivial...but I think, when your table looks pretty, it shows that you cherish the 'event'...even if it's supper on a random Thursday night...or lunch on a Tuesday...using the real dishes, sometimes the china, with fabric napkins, and a real table cloth...fresh flowers occasionally is also a great touch.  Cherish those you love...cherish your time together...remember, you are always making memories!

And, thankfully, I have good good memories 'around the table' at my parents, my grandparents and my aunts & uncles' homes over the years.   So, if pottery is what it takes....go get some...I got a gorgeous 'mashed potato' bowl on our journey past this week.  For me that translates:  really good memories for my family.

Moms...of pre-schoolers...of teen-agers...of adults...

It is not a secret; I love to talk.  I love to laugh and I love to be around people--all kinds of people.  At this point in my life, I have this amazing gift of time.  Time to think; I've mentioned this recently here, so I won't bore you with that...however, I need to think more clearly.  Thinking more clearly for me, at this age, seems to come after my morning coffee!  But, seriously, thinking clearly for all of us humans comes from time spent in the Word and in prayer, you know this, or you should.

I was honored yesterday by a surprise phone call from a friend I hadn't talked to in quite a while.  You know, it's one of those calls that when her name 'popped up' on my phone, I thought, "OH, good!  I get to talk to ______!"  It was a bittersweet conversation, because she shared her disappointment with me concerning something she's facing.  However, we were able to not focus completely on that topic, and catch up with each other a little.  And, it was a blessing.

Yesterday was my first day of my fall semester, so most of the day was spent putting my materials in order, and I was even able to begin one of my first writing assignments.  However, my phone rang again in the afternoon--a different friend called.  This phone call was from a young mom that I dearly love, but I haven't, again, had much opportunity to talk with her since we moved.  To my delight, she was calling to invite me to speak at a MOPS (Mothers Of Pre-Schoolers) meeting later this year!  How fun! 

As I sit here this morning, I am contemplating topics to share with these young moms!  I'm thinking that because I have had pre-schoolers in our house for the majority of the past 27 years, I might have some encouragement to share with them!  And, while I haven't had a divine revelation about my topic at this moment, I feel certain that I will narrow my options down in the next couple of days.  But, oh how fun it is to sit and think about all the different  scenarios and approaches I could take.

Being a mom is filled with the most wonderful moments; moments to cherish and to 'ponder'.  Those moments trigger emotions that you didn't even know you were capable of feeling--and moments that literally take your breath away--to the point of no air in your lungs.  Each child, so unique from the others, only wanting to be loved and cherished forever by their parents.  From the sweet little baby to the precious little three year old to the curious & busy first grader to the complicated (and sometimes sullen) teens---trying college years to the young adults--yep--these are the most wonderful times!  Because, each time our family is together--this is the variety we have to enjoy!  Secretly, my hope is that it will always be this way!  A variety of ages and stages--precious, each one, which makes my advice this morning this:  enjoy each one, for the current stage in this child's life is quickly fleeting, for it will not last forever. 

When your little baby won't sleep at night, and there are dark circles under your eyes like you have never experienced before--the sweet smile and laugh out loud quickly bring a smile to your tired face, and you light up!  When the drooling starts, and there is pain because the teethe are coming--it isn't long before they are taking bites of french fries or their siblings.  (or in my sister's case, the rubber seal on our grandparent's car trunk)  Blink and they are in school...blink again, and they are walking through their college graduation...and then, soon enough they bring their little ones to you for you to enjoy!  Love each one...love each day--for soon, very soon, the canvas of your family changes!

Consider Psalm 90:12 Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
and, Psalm 39:4 Show me, O Lord, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life.

Hope, really?

This verse spoke to my heart this morning: 

   May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 15:12

Just look at how many times the word hope appears there...twice...our hope, as Christians comes from the God of hope...by the power of the Holy Spirit.  The Spirit that is in us as a deposit for the coming age.   

That is my hope.  But my question this morning to myself was this:  Is my hope overflowing by the power of the Spirit?  If it isn't then why?  And, better, if it IS, then what do I do about that? 

If my hope is overflowing then I am overflowing with joy and peace that comes from trusting God.  Wow, there is a concept in these times:  trusting the God of hope....really trusting Him in all circumstances--in everything that concerns us.  Everything.  EVERY little THING. 

So much of our life is concern, isn't it?  We hardly have room in our day to 'trust' because we are so consumed with our 'concern.' (which is really worry, so stop believing the lie that they are not the same)   Stop being scared--we are certainly scared because when we stop worrying, then we give up control, and that is a very scary place to be--the anecdote for this is to practice trusting. 

I would like to point out Proverbs 3:5-6...Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

By trusting in God, and not our own wisdom, the wisdom of those around us,  the TV anchors, or the email or text message we just received, HE will make our paths straight...straight to the place He intends to teach us the most. 

It is my most recent experience that that 'place' is not always comfortable, air conditioned or smells the greatest...it isn't the most desirable, by earthly standards (here, I am reminded of Joseph when he was sold in to slavery by his 'beloved' brothers, eventually spending a couple of years in prison--go ahead, read for yourself:  Genesis 37-50) ...but it IS a place of peace and quiet understanding that He is God, Jehovah....and that's where our hope must be...completely in Him.  

Bear in mind, this is an election year, the economy could be better, our country could use more jobs, we have children that are starving--right here in the 'richest country in the world', there is domestic abuse and there are people suffering from disease...yet, ultimately, our hope cannot rest on one 'elected official's' shoulders...please, do everything you can to think 'higher' than that...try not panic about earthly matters...for our Hope is with the Lord...

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.--Habakkuk 3:17-18

"If We Could Have Coffee..."

"If we could have coffee"...those were the words on the outside of a greeting card I read yesterday.  The inside of the cared contained words of encouragement and sort of made a plan for the sender and receiver of this card to have coffee together...that way 'all would be right in the world!'...Or, so it would seem!
When I was a little girl, and through out the time I lived at home, coffee was an event.  My dad would say, "I'm going to drink coffee!"  And, that meant in our home that he was on his way to 'The Town House' or another little diner in our town to drink coffee with his friends, most of whom were tied somehow to truck driving.  Or, when he was driving, he would talk on his CB radio, (remember those?--back before answering machines and mobile phones were invented) he'd make an acquaintance and they would stop, get fuel, and 'drink coffee'! 

Sometimes, I would get to attend these sacred events with him.  I would sip a coke or a sweet tea and the guys would talk about everything from trucks, engines, politics, log books, laughing a lot and tell stories from their travels--that meant something to them. 

Sometimes, they would have either witnessed or been part of a traffic accident.   More than one of my dad's friends was killed while driving their trucks.  And, so these events probably helped them sort out their feelings in some way about grief, about the road itself and about what the government was beginning to regulate in the trucking industry.  Of course, it is a different world today than it was in those days.  And, that is as it should be.  I probably wouldn't even recognize the 'trucking industry' of today compared to what was so much a part of my 'growing up' years...

But drinking coffee...that seems timeless, somehow! 

Even as I write this, I am watching as the 'talking heads' discuss the RNC at the Elephant Bar in Tampa Florida, on 'Morning Joe!'  Do I feel connecting to these people because I, too, am drinking coffee?  NO...resounding NO.  They are so far from my life, and the things that truly interest me. 

They are actually dissecting Ann Romney's speech from last night...did she relate to America?  Is she real?  Is she truly in love with her husband?  Do they really buy his shirts at Costco?--really?  Yesterday, they dissected whether Mitt really had cooked pancakes previously...really?  Is THIS what election years is about...shirts and pancakes...?   THIS is not a political post...far from it.   

But drinking coffee...Oh my, I couldn't do it.  Even when my Grandma AnnaBelle would put cream and sugar in it...or my sister-in-law would put cream, sugar and flavoring in it--thanks, Tammy! 

NO, I couldn't do it...But when I became a part of our church's staff, actually being at the church three mornings a week...PC taught me to 'just drink it black'...and it was AMAZING!

When I first began calling meetings for my women's ministry team, I remember I put on one reminder card, 'come to my house, we'll have coffee!'

In my MIND, I thought of our meeting as a sort of caucus to share ideas, a time to sit around a table and really talk about issues, plans and prayers that we had as a team...much like the sacred events that I had attended with my dad and his friends.  The really hilarious thing about me writing that on a post card is this:  I didn't even own a coffee maker at that point!  No, I didn't even consider serving coffee...so then it became a joke, 'driver through, get your coffee, then come to my house'!!!  Yep, that's me:  the planner!

But today, I have a coffee maker, and I have pretty decent coffee.  Mallory and I are the only ones that live here that enjoy coffee--she likes creamer in hers and I still like mine  )--thanks, PC!)'just plain black.'   I love the warmness of the cup in my hands, the comforting aroma as it is brewing and I love the rich taste!

And, yes, I love to sit with friends and 'have coffee'--to put order to the world--at least the world I can touch...

In reality, that's what 'going to drink coffee' did for my dad, in some way it probably helped him make sense of 'his world' as a friend, a trucker and a person.   I used to sit for most of the morning, while my mother-in-law drank coffee...and discuss our world, putting it in order!  I would sip hot tea, or drink her iced tea...It only would have been better if I would have enjoyed coffee then, like I do now!  OK, I've had two cups, blog is finished--time to get on with the day...

Just know, if we could have coffee...we'd discuss OUR world....Be blessed today...Be a blessing today!!!!!


 

High School--My School....

I love it when you can see God's hand in events and non-events in your life, don't you?  Yesterday, I attended a 'move in' meeting with the girl's teachers, guidance counselor and the principal of the high school they attend.  I thought this would be just a routine, 'here's how we do things here in Indiana, and do you have any questions' and, for the most part it was. 

However, I was delighted to be able to bring the conversation that we had yesterday in to our 'on the way to school' conversation this morning and tie in a life lesson at the same time!  Here's what happened:

Yesterday, as the conversation in our meeting unfolded, we learned that each of the people around the table had graduated from this school.  Two had actually attended at the same time, and now live across the street from each other!  And, one had been a student in recent enough years, that the principal sitting there, had also been the principal when she attended.  I found this to be just a fun fact that they like to share.  However,  their children are all in public school, as well, and will most likely all graduate from this school. 

The thing is, in my recent 'public school' experience, that is not the norm. Many teachers I have met send their children to private schools.  While this is their business, and does not really concern me, I just found it refreshing that these sitting around the table truly seemed to enjoy working together, and they really seemed to like kids.  (also refreshing, as this has not always been evident in conversations I have had with teachers) 

Here's how it played out in 'real time' conversation this morning, though.  I asked, 'have you met any cute boys?'  Not really expecting an answer, but here's what I got: "yeah, one cute boy always stands by me, and talks to me, but he has a girl friend, so I sort of just move away"  OK, that seemed wise enough, but at this point, I still have a pretty good memory...so here's what I said:  'remember, yesterday, when two of the people in the room had gone to high school together, and now live across the street from each other?--Wouldn't it have been really awkward if they had been awful to each other in high school?  That's a really good reason for you to be nice to everyone...you never know when you might be their 'boss' later in life, OR you might need a job from them, instead...you just don't know what your life will bring...but for now, you just need to make friends with LOTS of kids....all kinds--OK? '  They thought that was a pretty good idea...then related a story about one of their new friends that is special needs...

And so it goes.  I have related before how my sister, in all her honesty and because she loves me so much, has told me what a snoot I was in high school...for that I am truly sorry.  If I offended you way back then, I am truly a different person now...and I am sorry.  Know that some how, I am trying to redeem my past 'snooty-ness' by teaching me children to be more accepting and loving toward others...somehow, they are better at that toward others, then each other...If you have children, you know what I'm talking about...We'll continue to work on that, but for now, I'm thankful for the school our girls get to attend this year.  It's gonna be a good good year!

A Good Day for Healing!

And, school has started, actually, I should say it is in full-swing!  The girls are settling in nicely, making friends, and I think they like their classes.  They have had a few opportunities to meet new kids in town, but for the most part, they stick together...running, shooting baskets, playing pitch and catch--or just watching movies, or listening to music--and texting is near constant during all those activities!  They make me laugh...and they never cease to amaze me--just their thought processes are so different from mine--I can learn so much from them.  For, in them, there is little fear of people or in new experiences--their biggest fears are usually after watching scary movies--they are shy at first, but once they feel like you want to hear about them, they loosen up pretty quickly and start talking!

It was so much fun yesterday to get a phone call in the late morning...my phone has different ring-tones for each of the girls (thanks to Madison!) and Alayna's started playing.  Well, imagine my delight when I said 'hello!'...and this little voice starts immediately relating all the details of 'her first day at Grace Pre-school!'  Hilarious!  And so precious!  Ally called to tell me all about her teachers, what she had done and learned, what they played with and that they were having lunch in the park!  LOVE IT!  She is so excited to be learning, and to have 'her school' to talk about--she had learned how to 'sign' two words--and can't wait to show me those signs! 

As I talked to Alayna later, she related how quiet her days have become with only one little one there!  As I thought about that, it hit me how quiet my days are as I prepare for school, or getting a job, but settling us in to our new life.  I have always had 'little' hands around to help me...and now, I face day-time hours alone.  And, that is as it should be--just different for me to consider and enjoy!

That's what I would say to my friends that are facing 'empty nest' for a variety of reasons--embrace where you are, create your 'new normal'...and be thankful for this time...there is always something to be thankful for, in each stage and place our lives take us.  Right now, I have time to study, organize, quietly think and plan, cook, exercise, blog(!) and make new friends...I am applying for jobs, praying for others...and considering our future.  And, as my dear friend recently suggested:  I have real time to heal.  Heal?  Really, you might ask...from what?  I won't go 'there' at this moment, but I will say, that it is imperative that we not only choose to heal, but we allow ourselves time to heal from past hurts, or disappointments, or set backs, or health issues...our culture would push for the exact opposite...but healing is basic for the 'next part of your life'...to happen as it should!

How is that for run-on sentences and ideas that just spill out? 

Right now, I'm off to Bible study to make new friends--and to be encouraged by God's word and His people--LOVE that! 

Just Thinking About Marriage...hmmmmm

It was a good week end in the Bishop home.  We rested some, worked some, we explored our "new" town, met a couple of our neighbors, went to church together, and cooked together--but mostly, we talked and laughed together.  Some of these things happened with all ten of us, some with only six of us, and then there were times for only four of us...but, for me, the most precious time was the time that was just Randy and me. 

I suppose that I should preface what I'm going to say with the fact that we went to a movie together yesterday afternoon.  The movie is new at the box office, it's called, "Hope Springs."  Three of my favorite 'stars' joined together to make this movie:  Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee Jones & Steve Carell.  These can be extremely funny people, they did a decent job but the subject matter was delicate, to say the least, for I have met so many people are exactly where the characters, "Kay and Arnold," found themselves.  -And, judging from the make up of the audience....I would say the producers were 'spot on'!
Randy & I took the girls to church yesterday morning, and they decided that they wanted to try the high school Sunday school class for their age group.  When asked what they studied, they told us it was all about the subject of divorce, and how it affects them.  (out of twenty kids in the class, only four families had original parents)  Although divorce is not the subject of this post, marriage IS.  And, in order to be divorced, you must have been married....marriage. 
I do not pretend to have this subject mastered, and I would say that we have made our share of mistakes in our relationship.  However, I know what I have observed, and what I live.  More times than I can remember, Randy & I have been to dinner and while eating, we observe others around us.  Used to, couples would just be sitting there, not even talking to each other...staring at their food, or at the table cloth...or 'out in to space'...but now, that exercise has been replaced with their cell phones...they are either both texting someone else, or playing a game, or who knows what, but there is still no communication between the couple.  And so, I say, is it any wonder that there are so many unhappy people around?  Closed off from each other, locked in their own space, with their own interests....Just this past week end, we were eating in a restaurant with all our kids.  I observed a young woman, she looked beautiful, enjoying herself.  I asked my girls who she was with, her dining companion was not in my line of vision and for her body language definitely said she was NOT with her husband--a boy friend maybe, or a best friend....I was correct--it was a good friend. OBVIOUSLY NONE of my business...but you must admit, an interesting observation...
I want to add that being married isn't really about 'your happiness'...Randy and I love each other very much, we have been together for a little over thirty-four years...and 'happy' wasn't always how we felt, in fact there was some long periods of sadness in there...(that happened when we buried our three year old, and his parents within an eighteen month span)...if we had gotten divorced every time we felt unhappy, we would have never made it through the first year.  It was more about being committed to each other, and the life we were trying to build for our family.  It  became more about communicating and knowing why we were 'unhappy'...because sometimes 'unhappiness' has nothing to do with the other person...it has to do with circumstances that neither can control. 

Keeping our marriage alive is about our relationship, about communicating and about striving to truly enjoy the other person's presence.  Our culture is so 'me' oriented, that it is easy to cultivate a whole portion of our lives that have nothing to do with our spouses.  Then, months or years later decide you have nothing in common...because you've been too busy with your own interests.  Do not misunderstand, we are individuals, and we do have separate interests, but it is of utmost importance that we make time to connect our interests to each other...and spend time laughing, crying, joking and talking about things that are common to both of us. 

I am not the most eloquent when it comes to putting this next paragraph in to words, but this relationship I have with Randy is precious to me.  I have to decide every single day that it is a priority.  I have had, in the distant past, to ask God to help me, to actually restore my love for him...and because He is faithful, He did...

Our marriage relationship is very personal. private and precious, so there are many things I will not share in such a public forum as this blog post.  However, I have concern that others do not share in their marriages out of fear.  For that reason, I want to encourage you, if you are married, to replace the fear you have about your spouse with trust.  Do not waste time being afraid to tell your spouse how you feel about things. 

The other thing I want to say is that God designed marriage...He is Tri-une, modeling relationship between 'Father, Son and Holy Spirit'.  Three in one, loving, living and modeling community.  This is a model for the marriage relationship...mutual respect, love, submission...by asking God to be the leader of our home and our marriage...us individually and together seeking God's best of ourselves, each other and our family...seeking to Honor God, and bring glory to His Name because of our relationship...that's it. 

Go read Psalm 51...I especially love the words "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me."

Somehow, those words resonate with me, even when I am talking about my marriage.  I want a pure heart toward Randy, I want to be with him as much as I can...but more than that, I want a pure heart toward God, and I want His presence more than the air I breathe...for without it, I am nothing.

I wanted to share this with you, as well, for somehow, it spoke to my heart concerning my marriage...maybe it will yours, too!

This was my scripture this morning, turn to it in your Bible...but I will close with this:

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. 

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.  Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.  For of this you can be sure:  No immoral, impure or greedy person--such a man is an isolator--has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ, and of God.  Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient.  Therefore do not be partners with them.  Ephesians 5:1-7

Be aware of how you are interacting with your spouse...for others are watching you.  Put away your cell phone, when you are eating together, engage in conversation..don't be afraid to laugh and enjoy each other...life is way too short to waste it by not having fun together, truly laughing and talking together.  If you don't know how to do this anymore...then ask God to renew your love, and give you creative ways to communicate with each other...just sayin'!

 

No, I'm not Hilary Clinton..,

Have you ever had a period in your life when you had more questions than answers?  I'm not trying to be philosophical, or scary, I just have a lot of questions right now.  I have said for years, that I do better if I don't 'turn on the news' in the morning...it ruins the rest of my day.  Well, it is true. 

However, since we have settled in to our new home, I have turned on "Morning Joe" more often than not.  I think I have a responsibility to be somewhat informed about the happenings in the world in which I reside....but I must hold all that information in tension with what I know to be true of my God.  If I intend to be sane this side of the grave, I have found that before I turn on the news, whether it is from our TV, or the Internet, I must meet with My God.  I do this in the pages of His word, and through my prayer life. 

Today is a busy day of prayer for me.  I found out on FaceBook that a tragedy happened at one of our family member's home over the week end.  Another tragedy happened in the lives of some of our friends in Southern Illinois.  I also find my thoughts returning throughout the day to the situation unfolding at my school, and my dear friends that are on the front lines, sorting that all out.

In each of these times, I am reminded over and over how fragile life is, and how we should treasure every breath.  Of course, in our culture there seems to be a push to live life as quickly as we can, to get as much 'done' as possible before the next 'thing'....

When we rush through life, however, we do not have time to appreciate the relationships or the blessings that we have right in front of us.  I hear parents sometimes bemoan the fact that 'their baby has grown up so fast'...and 'the years go by so quickly'...and I look at young moms (and remember being a mom of little children--twice--ten years apart!!!) and it is no wonder!!

When our children are young, we are constantly in the car, taking them to practices, events, functions, lessons or some other appointment!  Those are years that, unless you are purposeful with your calendar, time can get away from you in a hurry!

I can remember one hurried day when, getting Alayna and Holly finally in the car, I was not being very nice as I said "Hurry, get in and get buckled up!"  Alayna just sat down, so sadly and said,
"I'm really trying, mommy..."...she was only 3...I stopped and cried with her for a minute.  Lesson learned--sort of.
As they got older, I didn't care whether my kids played on teams, or were most popular...it didn't matter, because I just didn't want them to rush through being a kid.  Soon enough, they become adults, with tons of responsibilities...and if they rush through being a kid, they'll rush through being an adult...never ever stopping to learn to savor the moment, and enjoy.  Truly enjoy their lives.  (Perhaps the epidemic of sleep deprivation that our country faces is, in part, due to this pace we condition our lives to be, because we must keep up with those around us!--just sayin'!)

Life is a precious gift.  It does go by quickly, I know this because I have taken time to listen to people that are over ninety--and many of them live there with few regrets...savor the moment, grieve your losses, take time to actually play, create,  pray, eat and savor your relationships....take time to laugh,  smile, time to really read and enjoy what is being said...take time to really get to know God while you are here on this earth--it isn't difficult, you must commit to opening His word, and actually being purposeful in your search--for His word says that He will be found by those who seek Him!!!

Back to me and my day, though-- judging from the news this morning, I would have a lot more fun traveling with Hilary Clinton today, as she looks like she had a blast dancing in South Africa!

I must remember, though, God didn't call me to be her, He designed me to be me...and for that I am truly thankful! 

And so, instead of dancing in South Africa and saving the world, I'll have fun planning dinner for the twins & Randy, and unpacking MORE boxes!!!!  But, you can bet, I will enjoy my day...no matter who is running for president, and what their budget looks like.  My hope does not lie in those things, for they constantly change, for we are fickle...And,"I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day!" (2Timothy 1:12)

It's Five O'Clock in the Morning.....sing it with me....

Well, I did it!  I just hit the 'send' button, thus turning in my final project for my summer semester!  It feels really good to be finished with the course work.  However, I love the work involved in going to school, so I will begin my fall semester reading early next week, even though that semester does not begin for about three weeks. 

Most wise counsel would say:  put down the book, paint the shed, and get everything else put away.  I intend to do those things, as well....for this coming week will mark the beginning of our 'new routine' as a family!  The girls begin school on Tuesday, secretly, I think they are excited.  However, outwardly, they groan about getting up early, and going to bed earlier!  In the summer, they stay up super late...and sleep super late...(I've never been convinced that it is a good idea to sleep past eight am on any day...I feel like I've wasted the best time of day if I do that!) 

I will be thankful for the routine, and thankful that they will be making new friends and doing things --well, SOME things that kids their age do...this fall they will most likely be getting their driver's license...I remember saying that the junior high years were like puberty in stereo...getting their license will be worse...I'm considering putting it off until they are twenty one...but then I reason that I am only hurting myself in the long run--for I remember the days that I could send Alayna or Holly to the store for me, or run an errand that I didn't have time to get to...they loved driving, as I am certain the younger girls will love, as well!

We are going to get to see our 'babies' this evening--for that I am so thankful!  They make me smile, and most of the time they make me laugh out loud!  I get to get my eyes tested tomorrow!  I have great plans for new glasses--hoping that becomes a reality! 

I have been awake since 3:30am...finishing up and double checking my bibliography...I pressed send at 5:45...it is now, 6:05 am...I think I should wake up the girls, and tell them we are going to work on the basement...hmmmmm...not a good idea...I will so much more enjoy the quiet of their sleeping than the moaning that 'it isn't even day-light yet'...I'll instead, brew a pot of coffee, grab my Bible and have a little party:  Just me and God!!! 

I'll write more later, you know I will!  

Un-Packing the Treasures....and the Memories

It's time to get moving...I don't mean packing up again...thank goodness!  I mean finishing the "UN-packing"!!!!  And, yet, some part of me would like to put it off as long as possible.  Alayna, in her young woman wisdom recently said, "Mom, if you haven't 'looked at it' in a year, you probably really don't need it!" 

Needing it may not be the right word to use for 'it'...but having 'it' around because I love 'it' is another story.  I am reminded of my grandmas, more times than I can count as I unpack these things.  The things I am talking about are things that have either come to me from those grandmas...like the cookie jar that sat on my great-grandma Melton's kitchen counter.  By the time I met her, she kept store-bought cookies in there, ginger snaps, or oatmeal raisin...but they always tasted moist and delicious!  Of course, that was in the 60's and 70's...and I can still hear her say "These are Archway!"--so we would know they were good!  My dad--when he was a little boy--had gotten cookies out of that jar--as had her six children, and her fifteen grandchildren.  And, just to keep the family peace, I should write taht I did not 'inherit' the cookie jar directly from her, no, it went to my dad first...as he was the oldest grandchild...but I got it a little later. 

I have a blue pitcher that is 'really old' that sat in my mother-in-law's corner cabinet of her living room as long as I've been in the family...It had been either her mother's or her aunt's...but it is beautiful to me. 

I also have an 'old bowl' that belonged to my one of my aunt's...and beautiful hand made things that my grandmas --AnnaBelle, Virginia and my great grandma Lucille made.  There are precious quilts that friends made when I did women's ministry in Olney...there is valuable artwork that Alayna made when she was little, and precious things that Macy made when she was only 2-1/2...the twins made concrete blocks for the garden, which are in our landscaping right now...and an 'annivershereeee' present that Holly made when she was 5 or 6...

Do I 'need' these things to survive on this earth?  Absolutely not.  Are they valuable?  No, only to me, and perhaps my children...or not...they are not particularly sentimental....But, the last time I visited AnnaBelle, (my amazing, blessing of a Grandma) before she moved to her assisted living apartment...back when she had her home...she could walk to anything in her home and say, "Well, your dad brought me that from.....OR, Dad and I picked that out when we were first married (at that time would have been 67 years or so before!)...OR, my friend made me this, OR she found this for me at a garage sale, because she knew I would love it"....none of these things were worth much monetarily...it just meant a lot to her that someone had thought of her, and brought it to her, forming a precious memory!
Maybe, just maybe, this is the reason I have been hesitating to unpack the last of the boxes...I want to take my time, and savor the memories...and place my treasures in conspicuous--or not so conspicuous places in this home...At the same time, being judicious about exactly what I keep, in order to save my children a lot of time when I'm gone...for they might not appreciate these things like I do--or at least have the memory attached to 'it'...

For example, my Great-grandma's cookie jar is just a cookie jar to them, as she died before they were born. But, to me, good good memories are attached to her home, I can still smell the spicy apple sauce cooking...or the gorgeous fragrances from her back porch, where we would look at 'how her plants were doing' every time we visited her!  And, no--I did not get a green thumb from her, my cousin, Nadine Williams--Flower Ridge Farms--got all that talent and know-how, and for that I am truly thankful!  Thankful that somebody got it in our generation--and apparently Nadine was paying more attention than me, when we looked at all those plants! 

No, my treasures deserve my time...and so, I'm going to buy some really good coffee, and plan the days I'm going to spend UN-packing them ..maybe I'll keep a journal for this experience, for some day my girls will wonder 'what is this? OR why did mom keep this?  OR, this is UGLY, why is it important?'  But, those days will happen after I'm gone!
   

Thankful...Today's "Moment"

When I began writing this blog, almost three years ago, I called it "Moments with Marsha".  That seemed fitting at the time, and it still seems to fit somehow.  Mostly I wanted to offer my perspective from the point of view of a mom, a sister, a daughter, grand daughter, friend,  a grandma and even a student.

Today I had a moment when I felt overwhelmingly blessed!  It hit me how comfortable we are here in our new town, in our new home, close to our older kids, yet there are still so many variables in our life--and that is OK! 

Later, took a few minutes to reflect on the week end I just enjoyed with close friends from Northern Illinois.  Our daughter had a "groupon" to hang glide in southern Wisconsin, so I got to ride with her to our friends' house--as a surprise...and it was a surprise!  It is a rare thing to have such close friends--and so, I reflected on the length and depth of our friendship, and the fact that we all consider it a gift straight from God--surprises and all! 

Another blessing of my day was the time I was afforded to sit in my new robe with my second cup of coffee and work on my research paper. (which is due in a few days)  I love this robe--a gift from Randy and the girls for my birthday last week--it is so comfy and cozy!  And, because I already told you about the 'back room' of our house, you know I was sitting back there...enjoying the view--and the coffee!

Later on, to our delight, when Rand and I got home from working out, our girls were actually cleaning.  Not just hurrying through, no, they were actually on their hands and knees, scrubbing the bathroom and kitchen floor...why?  Because I asked them to do it 'before Friday'...they just felt like  today was a good day!  Woo HOO!!! 

Today's moment, then, would just be "being thankful."  Thankful for this move, for our home, our family, good friends and helping hands.  I'm thankful for opportunities...like school for me, a job for Rand, and the possibility a job for me...getting to know our grand babies on a deeper level...making friends with our kids....being able to do the rest of our unpacking in our spare time...and relaxing in the evening with each other...oh, and skype-ing with my mom, just about every morning...she doesn't care that I'm usually still in my robe. 

Remember, we have an Enemy...

I am amazed at the simple, yet complex truths that God's word offers us.  We have to choose to look and find it, but it is true that God's word is the place that the answers to life can be found. However, know that we have an enemy that hates us is essential, for he, is eager to seek, kill and destroy...destroy our hope, our attitude, our very lives...beware!

Sometimes in the simple statements of what has become known as the 'Beattitudes'...found in Matthew 5.

Consider, 'Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.'  OR, 'Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.'  How about, 'Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth'? OR, 'Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.'  Also, 'Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.'

Think about 'Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.'  And, in our day, 'Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons' of God.'  Finishing with 'Blessed are those who are persecuted for reighteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.'  And, 'Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.'

Also, consider words from Psalm 30, actually you should have it open on your lap as you read this...words used there are extol.....O Lord My God...Sing praises...weeping may tarry for the night...but joy comes with the morning...O Lord, my helper!...turned my mourning into dancing...O Lord, My God, I will give thanks to you forever!

We cannot have our mourning turned to dancing until we give our mourning to the One who loves us most.  We cannot be comforted when we mourn, unless we are willing to the trust the God of all Comfort with our pain.  We cannot truly be satisfied in this life, until we are truly hungry and thirsty for righteousness.  When we have a pure heart, we will see God....

This isn't a lesson on Matthew 5:3-12 OR Psalm 30...it is just me, thinking as I write about the people I have encountered this week, and their pain and suffering, their joys and victories...and issues that we see in the news.   My point, if I am to make one, would be to live in such a way that your life extols the Glory of the Living God....not giving in to the temptations and quick fixes of this world. 

It is easy to compromise, only to soon discover that you have caused yourself much pain--stay the course!  This statement only comes because I attended my 'assigned' AA meeting this week.  (remember, I have to write a reflection paper about it for my Counseling the Addicted class)  The room was full of people who no longer wanted to wake up tomorrow with a hang-over...they each seemed to take responsibility for the place their lives had been....(my prayer is that they would stay the course, and find Divine Healing in the process.)  In our culture, though, it is easy to compromise, on our taxes, with our kids or spouses, at our jobs--just watch out!


Keep your thoughts and motives pure before the Lord (think about the long-term damage the addiction to pornography has on marriages (not to mention the on-going battle that women face because they are continually objectified by men)--many are in counseling/therapy/divorce court because of this--so the 50 Shades of Gray series may NOT be the best choice for your summer read--keep your marriage bed pure--just sayin')...

And, do not be surprised when others hate you for your 'stand' on certain issues (think about  scrutiny Chick-fil-a is currently facing--their founders are Christian)

Speak truth, live quiet lives, honor God, encourage others, but no, do not be taken by surprise when the world hates you...remember, they hated Jesus, too. But, He is the One in which I keep My HOPE, for He overpowered the grave!!!  And, because of that empty tomb, we have hope and a future beyond what 'this worlk' and all it's imperfections has to offer!